I beat my stove up with a large box of aluminum foil. My bathroom is a mess because I threw my false eyelashes, my eyebrow tatoos, adhesive and everything else I use to put on my freaky face in the morning just so I look halfway normal. I have been waiting for my package of eyelashes, top and bottoms, to arrive in the mail, they finally came yesterday, yeah! So I paste on my eyebrows last night to save me some time in the morning, since they are to last for days! Yeah, right! Woke up and had already lost half of one eyebrow, so then I try to pencil the rest of it in and it won't go on because of the residue from the stencil, OK I'm already mad at this point! So I rub the rest off and it still won't go on, so I scrub my face until it's raw! Now the pencil will go on, damn it! Then I try the eyelashes, well I don't have to tell you how that went because that's when I thew everything in the bathroom. So I decide to just leave it for the day and go to put my lunch together, that's when the package of foil wouldn't co-operate either and I lost it, cried all the way to work, cried in the parking lot, and I'm sitting in the office just trying to avoid everyone because if anyone say's "how are you today" I'm afraid I'll loose it again. I can't stand this, I can't even imagine getting married looking like this. I handled the hair loss alright, once it was all gone that is, but my eyebrows and eyelashes are something that I can't get a grip on not to mention the loss of hair all over, I get undressed with the lights off now. I know I haven't posted in awhile, I do check in on everyone but I'm just not in a positive frame of mind right now and I can't be a support to anyone when I'm so negative. As it turns out, DGADBS (Don't Give a Damn Bald Sue) does give a damn! Thanks for listening.

Views: 4

Comment by Galvin on September 29, 2010 at 9:41am
I have heard worse, like breaking the dishes in the kitchen. I think your stove survived unharmed. I smashed my fist into a telephone pole once and broke a couple bones in my hand because of my frustration with alopecia. I would suggest now that you have relieved the "pressure cooker" inside that you consider tattoos or permanent make-up for eyebrows. Tinted or sunglasses are being recommended more and more by doctors to avoid sun damage to the eyes. My daughter, who does not have alopecia, was told she should wear sunglasses even on cloudy days. And she does and its acceptable more today than ever before. Years ago if someone was wearing sunglasses indoors or on cloudy days most everyone thought "druggie" or drunky....not today with the enviroment changing.
Good Luck and thanks for sharing your experience.
Comment by Susan P aka DGADBS on September 29, 2010 at 10:43am
Your right Galvin, beating up the stove is better than having broken bones, all I got from my outburst was a cut from the sharp edge of the package. Unless your one of us no one else really knows what we are going through day to day do they? I'm am going to make an appointment to get the permanent make-up for my eyebrows, I found a place in Toronto, it's a 2.5 hour drive for me but I think it will make me feel a little better about myself. Thanks.
Comment by Kimberly Duncan on September 29, 2010 at 6:05pm
I have AA and have around 75% of my hair, I found my first spot in July and five more have showed up so this is all has not sunk in. I lose handfuls of hair everytime I brush my hair. The other day i was sobbing and crying my head off. clumps of hair in one hand and hairbrush inmy other hand, my huband was wondering why i was crying i told him everytime I brush my hair handfuls of hair fall out, He had the nerve to tell me stop brushing your hair I had to slam the bathroom door in his face or i would had lost it.
Comment by Tallgirl on September 29, 2010 at 10:00pm
Good thing meltdowns usually turn into firm actions...decisions to make purchases, choices or changes in a big way that WORK BETTER, look better, or have more satisfying results emotionally.
Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on September 30, 2010 at 12:09am
WOW does that ever sound familiar. I too took my rage out on the bathroom, kitchen and anything else in my path. The worse part was cleaning up afterwards. LOL. I even went outside and scream til I was hoarse. (I live outside of the city limits) I spent the entire day crying, so much so I requested from my boss a job that kept me away from people. Been awhile since I did that. Thank goodness for my friends just listening and being there offering encouragement and having this site to express what we are going thru with others that know exactly what we are going thru.
Stay strong and take care
Comment by Susan P aka DGADBS on September 30, 2010 at 7:21am
Love your tattoo Terri!
Your right Tallgirl meltdowns do call you into action, last night my fiance said I should go to a beautician even if it's every week so I can feel better about myself or whatever I need to make me feel better he also said to make that appointment to get the permanent makeup for my eyebrows. (he came home to the mess in the bathroom and the death of the foil in the kitchen LOL) I bet we can all remember our moments like this. When I first started losing my hair I lost it one morning when I was in the shower and my long curly hair was falling out all over me, sticking to my skin, I ran out to the garage and wailed/screamed I made sounds I'd never heard before, why the garage I don't know, but we move on, it might take us longer than most to get out the door in the morning but we manage to get out and face the world. I'll be moose hunting soon and I'll be myself again, with no makeup at all and loving it! Thanks guys, hopefully this morning will be better than yesterday for all of us, no tears :)
Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 1, 2010 at 1:07am
Hi Susan, You certain brought back some memories. I remember 2 meltdowns, the first was when I was going to the post office to pick up the company mail and the mail fell in a puddle, I wanted to scream! I went back to the office to hear my supervisor give me the "your work is not what it used to be, it seems you are distracted..." talk.
The other was the day before my sister’s wedding. I too purchased eyelashes for the first time. The harder it was to put them on, the more frustrated I became. Eventually I threw them away and started crying. To make matters worse, the day of the wedding, my brothers girlfriends young son, made the comment “Nice rug!” I wanted to throw him against the wall.
There are times when we just have had enough and as hard as we try to go on as everything is “normal” and be happy with our fate, our circumstances around us, remind us that this is not business as usual.
I am sure you know, that “this too shall pass”. The frustrations just mounted and the pressure needed to be released.
A BIG hug from me! Moose hunting! Wow this group certainly is diverse ;)
Comment by Susan P aka DGADBS on October 1, 2010 at 7:44am
Thanks for the hug Cheryl, yesterday was a much better day because I left the eyelashes in the package! I'll play around with them when I have more time. Yup, moose hunting for two weeks then deer hunting after that, I'll return to work mid November. I just love it in the woods this time of year and I'm sure it will be just what the doctor ordered, I won't be having the mornings that I do now getting ready for work.


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