Where acceptance is all there is
I am basically 6 feet tall (5' 11 1/2"). Dating was already hard because of my height. Most guys are attracted to average height women. I was shy and a very late bloomer--didn't start dating seriously until age 30. Over 10 years, I had one crappy or bad relationship after another. Nothing lasted very long, was cheated on, etc.
2 years ago, I finally figured out the kind of man I really wanted. I broke up with the boyfriend I had at the time because we were not right for each other. He was somewhat selfish and self-absorbed, and not caring enough. My hair had started to fall out here and there before that.
My father went into a nursing home at that time--4/2016. My hair fell out more and more. Before he passed in 10/2016 , I had almost no hair left on my head. < Later I shaved off what little was left and continued to try to cope with my father's passing.
I got a wig, and tried not to give up hope to meet a good man. I tried online dating for the millionth time in my life. Shortly thereafter, I started dating a guy.
Our relationship lasted 3 months. He said he was o.k. with my medical condition--alopecia universalis. Near the end of the relationship, I'd hug him and he'd move his head as far away from my wig as he could get. He wasn't ok with it, obviously.
A couple of weeks ago, I went on a third date with a guy I had met online. I had cancelled my account shortly after he and I started dating. I couldn't take the ups and downs anymore. I had read advice that you should tell your date about your alopecia on the third date. I did so. I texted him after he went home on our third date, with a couple of links about my condition. He said he had to think about next steps and ghosted me after that.
The blow to my self-confidence has been very bad. I am 41, have finally figured out the kind of guy I want, and it seems very unlikely I'll ever meet him now. I live in a rural area and am in my permanent home. I work two jobs in the spring and summer. I've been passed by a lot because I am tall. I have been rejected twice because I'm bald. My age really doesn't help things either.
I guess I'm just trying to cope with all of this. I had a full head of very thick hair for 38 years of my life. I'm trying to cope with the likelihood that one of the things I've wanted the most in my life may never happen--a positive long-term relationship with a good man. I'm trying to overcome some pretty difficult sadness as a result.