Comment by Stephanie on October 5, 2011 at 2:27am

Well all through my teenage & 2o's i always loved Sinead O'connors 'do'. I wish I had the nerve to shave all my hair off and do her do! So I have always been a fan of the short crop. I guess its having the choice! Like yes, ok, i want my hair short...not 'you are going to have your hair short'. hehe. Also, i remember being out with my boyfriend and his friend. My boyfriends friend was eyeing off all the blondie / blue eyes (hopefully my boyfriend wasnt! haha) when he asked me if I thought they were attractive. Well, I responded by saying that not really...what i find attractive is something different, something that stands our as unique, something with a twist of individualism about it...and the confidence to boldy proclaim...this is who i am...love me or leave me!

Comment by Stephanie on October 5, 2011 at 2:28am

PS: Blondie / bluey's rock...

Comment by Tallgirl on October 5, 2011 at 7:32am

I had felt unnoticed for years in ill-fitting brunette/auburn wigs, so I got bold on myself and started buying blond wigs in 2008, when I started a new college program (and when I was tired of dying my alopecia-white sideburns dark every month). Because many employers and others turn heads or remember blond women, I have finally been noticed. Also, I get a mall cosmetic make-over (free) before big events or on birthdays, and use THOSE photos on websites (take a camera along!). I look for nicer clothes at second-hand shops and yard sales, and am hoping to lose weight this year. Just because I lost my hair, it doesn't mean I can't still try to look professional or dressed-up for outings. Recently, I have tested out the shaved, wigless look when with good friends...with my decent make-up and earrings on, of course...and have actually received compliments. So...now I have more confidence either way.

Comment by Amy on October 5, 2011 at 8:57am

I agree eith Cheryl. No, we don't have the hair we used to have, but we still have the same face!

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 5, 2011 at 10:27am

I understand that many alopecians choose to wear hairpieces. But in all reality if a relationship turns serious, there are going to be sometimes that a mate will see us without one. Be it bedtime, showering or god forbid we are sick, the last think we may want to deal with is a wig.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 5, 2011 at 10:29am

Amy I agree with you. The features remain and in may cases may appear stronger.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 5, 2011 at 10:34am

Tallgirl, I felt unnoticed for years too. My husband assured me that I was anything but unnoticed. More that I didn't notice what was going on around me.

I just fear that using the "It's the inner beauty that counts" does us a disservice. Even if we may not believe it ourselves I think we should be aware of the messages we are telling others about ourselves.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 5, 2011 at 10:44am

@Stephanie, a mate may still look at a blond or anything else. I believe that rj chose me because he didn't see my baldness as a deterrent. But it may not be his unique preference. Meaning that just because he is now dating me that he only sees beauty in bald woman. I see beautiful, blondes, brunettes, red heads and bald women/men. I guess my point is that whether rj shaves the hair off his face or not, I may have a preference, but I don't lose my attraction to him. I have seen very few people who have changed hairstyles and all of a sudden their "beauty" vanished.

Comment by Mary on October 5, 2011 at 11:31am

Lily, I felt so washed out and "not me" when I lost my lashes and brows...I had very dark natural eye hair. I got eyeliner and brow tattoos within a month of losing it all, and felt much better. The tattoos aren't perfect, but I wake up and can do exercise without feeling blank.

I tried the bald look in public in small steps...and slowly it just didn't feel unusual to me. I found that if I acted as is there was NOTHING unusual about me, other people tended to act the same way....no big deal. (Aside from the cancer questions which I don't mind anymore.)

Another thing that's helped me is having some nice photos that I like of me bald. When I'm feeling ugly, I look at one. Here's my favorite:

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/hawaiian-black-sand-beach?contex...

Comment by Lili on October 5, 2011 at 1:57pm

Thanks for your post, it really struck a chord in me. Since joining this site I've seen so many who are beautiful inside AND outside. It's been a huge breakthrough for me and I'm also stunned by the amount of people I see who are strong, confident and self assured- it's just so amazing. Losing my hair to FPB, my biggest worry is that I'm no longer attractive, that I can't be confident. There's nothing more beautiful than being unique and holding your head up high... plus, a little glamour! Lots of glamorous ladies here, their beauty is definitely sparkling on the outside too. Since I started losing my hair, I started paying attention to details of my appearance that I never had before. If/when I shave my head, I don't think I'll be wearing a wig everyday, as I like my head to breathe and have a sensitive scalp. But when I do wear one (just got my first) I feel like a showgirl. :) My boyfriend also has MPB. When we met years ago, I had a full head of hair and still always thought he was the hottest guy in the room.

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