Alopecia World
It's Hair Loss Support At Its Best™
i need a group hug
hi all,
this is my first time blogging too. so on friday i was having a very good day at work when the tables turned. we were all coming back from lunch when my boss looks at me and says in front of everyone "hey pat, do you know the first time i realized that your hair is not really yours?" so with everyone looking i stopped him dead in his next ignorant tracks. I said to him "dont you think that is a private matter and that what you said maybe embarrasing to me? And what makes you think that i want to discuss "my" hair with the entire office?"
i just walked away while he apologized and i left him there with his mouth open. so off i went into the bathroom and cried. i was so upset that i wanted to go home. i didnt think i could possibly work in the state that i was in. i must have stayed in the bathroom for what seems like forever.after i some what got my self together i decide i would come out continue my day and why should i be ashamed. why should i use a sick or vaction day because of someone elses ignorance. so out i came, holding my head high determining not to let others see the pain i felt inside.
i went to my computer and immediately emailed him and let him no how much he humiliated and embarrased me. i told him as if he didnt notice that i am a very private person and that i dont share my personal business with coworkers so what made him think that anything concerning me was up for discussion. i also told him that if he wanted to know or if he notice i always wear weaves or wigs and he wanted to know why, i wish he would have been a little more sensitive and asked me in private- even though i would have kindly told him to stay out of my business and get some of his own!
i really wanted him to feel as bad as he made me feel. so at the end of my email i told him that i have alopecia and that i have had this condition for quite some time and i am learning to deal with it. he is a medical dr so he does have some understanding of at least what the condition is. i told him being a dr he needs to show some sensitivity not only to the patients he treats but also to the people who work for him.he responded and apologized profusely. now i dont want to go to work on monday.thanks for letting me get it all out.
this is my first time blogging too. so on friday i was having a very good day at work when the tables turned. we were all coming back from lunch when my boss looks at me and says in front of everyone "hey pat, do you know the first time i realized that your hair is not really yours?" so with everyone looking i stopped him dead in his next ignorant tracks. I said to him "dont you think that is a private matter and that what you said maybe embarrasing to me? And what makes you think that i want to discuss "my" hair with the entire office?"
i just walked away while he apologized and i left him there with his mouth open. so off i went into the bathroom and cried. i was so upset that i wanted to go home. i didnt think i could possibly work in the state that i was in. i must have stayed in the bathroom for what seems like forever.after i some what got my self together i decide i would come out continue my day and why should i be ashamed. why should i use a sick or vaction day because of someone elses ignorance. so out i came, holding my head high determining not to let others see the pain i felt inside.
i went to my computer and immediately emailed him and let him no how much he humiliated and embarrased me. i told him as if he didnt notice that i am a very private person and that i dont share my personal business with coworkers so what made him think that anything concerning me was up for discussion. i also told him that if he wanted to know or if he notice i always wear weaves or wigs and he wanted to know why, i wish he would have been a little more sensitive and asked me in private- even though i would have kindly told him to stay out of my business and get some of his own!
i really wanted him to feel as bad as he made me feel. so at the end of my email i told him that i have alopecia and that i have had this condition for quite some time and i am learning to deal with it. he is a medical dr so he does have some understanding of at least what the condition is. i told him being a dr he needs to show some sensitivity not only to the patients he treats but also to the people who work for him.he responded and apologized profusely. now i dont want to go to work on monday.thanks for letting me get it all out.
-
Comment by lidia on March 7, 2009 at 9:41pm -
Hi...
When i gratuated from nursing school i started my job in a small hospital. I remember clearly my coworkers talking loudly around me about wigs and weaves... i knew they were talking about me. I was so hurt and felt alone...The ring leader of that discusion was a young man studing to be a nurse. The next day i took him aside and basicaly told him that yes i do wear a wig not by choice. I also told him that i was very surprised for a FUTUR NURSE like him to behave that way. You need to show compation i said... I was so mad and hurt... for the first time in my life i stood up for myself. It felt good... what i realy wanted to do is slap him...but could not...lol...
Its been so long since i lost my hair and it still hurts when a comment is made or a weird look is givin my way.
Good luck to you.... keep you head up high....
I always say... What goes around comes around...
lidia
-
Comment by Jen on March 7, 2009 at 9:55pm -
Good for you!!! I am so proud of you for your quick thinking! You really stood up for yourself!! {{hug}}
-
Comment by Jen on March 7, 2009 at 9:59pm
-
One more thing: for sure, go back to work on Monday! Like you said, why let someone else problem affect your life (and your paycheck if you have choose to lose a vacay day!).
What you did was absolutely inspirational to me.
Also, I am reading this book called The Four Agreements. One of the agreements is "Take NOTHING personally." That's hard, I know. Even when people compliment us, it's really *not* about *us*; it's about them. Interesting, no?
You are so awesome! Go back to work! You are strong and quick thinking and compassionate.
-
Comment by Jill on March 8, 2009 at 12:48am -
That is surprising behavior coming from a doctor. I hate when that kind of stuff happens. Not only is it embarrassing it really angers me that it ends up upsetting me and causes me to focus so much on my alopecia when I was fine until the comment. Not sure if that makes sense to you?? I agree with Jen, it is inspiring to me that you were able to stick up for yourself so quickly and professionally. I struggle with what to say when stuff like that happens. If I were you I'd go to work and take some satisfaction in the fact that he is going to be feeling uncomfortable. I think you taught him a valuable lesson, he should be thankful.
-
Comment by Cat on March 8, 2009 at 8:05am -
As embarrassing as that was, you did a really good job of standing up for yourself. I don't think I could have done that! That's just insane. He must have no social skills at all!
-
Comment by Just Me on March 8, 2009 at 10:12am -
Just goes to show, some people can have an education, but still remain soooo stupid!!!!
-
Comment by Jen on March 8, 2009 at 4:05pm
-
Well said, Rosy and Sandy!!
-
Comment by Galvin on March 8, 2009 at 4:44pm -
((((((((HUG)))))))) You did very well. I had a alopecia incident once at the office and took the rest of
the day as a vacation day. You did better than me. :)
-
Comment by Pat on March 8, 2009 at 5:27pm -
thanks for the support and all of the encouragement! i love this site! sandy you are so right, alopecia is not an easy condition to have. rose marie its not about trying to keep a secret. its about a medical condition that i choose at this time not to discuss with my coworkers, no more than if some had a thyroid disorder, anemia, crohns disease,diabetes or heart disease. i am sure we all work with people who have some type of medical condition but do they all feel the need to educate us on arthritis? and if they dont feel the need to talk about gout do you feel like they are shuting you out? i know that it was not his intention to hurt me, but some times people do need a sensitivity check. i have worked at the practice dfor some time now and i know him. he has a very bad habit of saying things that arent appropriate with every one including the patients. you are probably right-no one i work with will probably bring the subject up again. i am fine with that. some things i just choose not to discuss with them. maybe that will change but right now-not.thanks everyone for the hugs!! you guys are the best!
-
Comment by Jen on March 8, 2009 at 7:16pm
-
I can feel that you're hurt, Susan, by what you interpreted Rosy to have written. It hit a personal chord with you.
I also know from experience that Rosy would never intentionally alienate anyone here.
Rosy is just offering another perspective, and I appreciate that, just as I appreciate your experience.
I'd venture to say she is not implying anyone her is "stupid."
I am under the impression this site is for all people affected by hair loss, even those who do not have AA/AT/AU themselves.
Don't we want to keep this site united? Words can hurt, too.
I wish the best for all of us, including both Rosy and Susan.
Latest Activity
Disclaimer
Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.
© 2012 Created by Alopecia World.
You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!
Join Alopecia World