Hi Sweetheart,

Please give yourself a break -- sometimes you just have to be your own best friend.  Remember all the good things about yourself that have nothing to do with your hair.  I just got on this site and am reading about Xeljanz and it sounds so promising.  I'm not sure about pattern baldness though, how that works exactly (I know some t-cell things have to do with it), but how similar it is to regular alopecia I don't know.  I know as women it is particularly hard because it's not the norm to go bald.  Every other man in his 50s seems to be bald (not to minimize their grief), but at least they can all feel normal around each other.  Usually, I have no one to talk to about this problem -- although I've noticed that more women today seem to have hair loss than 30 years ago -- especially older women.  There are definitely good treatments coming (drugs) and new transplant technologies, but I know that doesn't change your life right now.  What do you do now to help you look/feel better? 

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I understand because so many people are depressed by this condition. You have a lot of support here on Alopecia World. Try reaching out to others here. Read about their situations. Join some discussion groups here. Start your own discussion groups. Also, are there any alopecia areata support groups in your area? You can find out by going to the National Alopecia Areata Foundation web site; they have support groups listed by city. www.naaf.org. I also have written a book called "If Your Hair Falls Out, Keep Dancing!" that a lot of women have found helpful -- information about that is on my page. Let me know how you are doing. I care.