Alopecia World
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Dating Whilst Bald
I have experienced some nightmare situations whilst being bald and dating, how have your experiences been ? Do you find it harder dating without your hair or have people treated you the same ?
I would love to know what other peoples situations/experiences have been like .
I would love to know what other peoples situations/experiences have been like .
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on -
Me personally, I have dated since being bald but I haven't enjoyed it. Because of the overwhelming saturation of shallow, selfish men who only see bald women as oddities and freaks at best and objectified fetishes at worst, I have simply stopped dating. It bothers me sometimes that I won't find someone who loves the whole person and can look beyond outward appearances, but I would rather be safe and alone than continually exposed and with someone who makes me miserable.
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Permalink Reply by Katie on
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Hi Claire,
I was diagnosed with Alopecia when I was 18 and really didn't have much dating experience prior to my hairloss. I started to wear wigs early on after the diagnosis and still do so it's hard to say if I was treated much different on dates. However, I know there were times I felt uncomfortable on a date because of the hairloss. There were times I worried my date would put his hands through my wig, times I worried about my wig coming off, times I worried about how and when to explain my hairloss to a date, and times I worried what the reaction would be to all the above. I've been married for the past 6 years and have discovered I worried a lot more then I needed to. I know there's a lot of shallow people out there, but sometimes I made a bigger deal out of the hairloss then I needed to.
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on
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Gary, tell her up front that her obsessing over your head is making you very uncomfortable and ask her to stop. If she really cares about you, she will do so. Also don't be afraid to ask her if she has a hair fetish. (Sounds like to me that she does!) Never be afraid to tell someone if something is making you uncomfortable, and never think so low of yourself that you feel you have to stay with them despite them making you feel uncomfortable and in spite of their other qualities.
I'm glad you were able to spot the warning signs of a fetish from postings here. We are here in Alopecia World to ensure the comfort and safety of all our members, male and female alike. I'm sorry for your experience, and I hope that your next venture into the dating world brings you a lovely lady who sees you as much more than a fetish!
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Permalink Reply by Zoey on -
Well...I have been with my boyfriend for over three years.. When we first met, he always told me how awesome my hair looked.....
On our third date he asked where I got my hair done...
So, I looked him straight in the eye and told him, I dont have real hair, this was bought.
He kept saying, "stop it.. stop stop". (I am a huge joker-He thought I was kidding around)
I was just looking at him seriously and said, this is not my real hair.. Then he finally believed me.
Then he was like.. Oh.... lol
But, after that he has been soo supportive. I am soo thankful that I just came out and told him early on in our relationship...
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Permalink Reply by Janine on -
good idea to tell in the beginning.
my wig fell off (lol) so he had to find out. i need to still get into the nitty gritty of why i dont have hair but he said he doesn't mind either way. and i believe him too.
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Permalink Reply by Annette Shuford on -
For me it doesn't matter if a men has hair or not. I actually like bald men, they have something special. I have some good dating experiences with bald men so for me no hair is something positive. There may be women that wouldn't date bald men but that's all personal taste and most don't care about the hair, there are much more important things to consider.
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Permalink Reply by Jaime Murphy on -
I started losing my hair at 9, and am now totally bald at age 25. Alopecia has totally affected my dating experiences, as I don't even think I have been beyond a first date with anyone. It is unfortunate that there are sooooo many shallow guys around, especially since I live near a big city (Near Boston). I spent the weekend in Maine partying with some girls for a bachelorette party, and while I danced with a few guys, they all said something like "your really bold and you don't care, I like that." I didn't leave with any phone numbers or anything. Its really kind of sad that I'm 25 years old and all of my girlfriends have a few ex's and I don't even have one. It makes me a little sad when their boyfriends text them sweet nothings while they are away just because they miss them, and I don't have anyone to miss me. I just wish for once I would meet someone who would give me a chance. I'm sick of the single, independent life!
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Permalink Reply by Cynthia Lee Watkins on
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Because of negative, hurtful experiences, I don't date. I would love to, but I don't want to be "fetishized", or emotionally abused, or embarassed....
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Permalink Reply by Gail M on -
Jamie, You may think that 25 is soooo old that you should have exes. But who wants exes? Keep your heart open and look for heart-mate. He is out there looking for you.
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Permalink Reply by Reever White on
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I have not been in an intimate relationship since 2003. That was the last time that I can remember having enough hair or a sew in that could cover my baldness. Since I'm 55 and disable, I don't even let my thoughts venture that way. I always ask myself, who wants someone bald and broken down. I am a home body, my life now revolves around my grandkids. They bring me joy.
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Permalink Reply by Dielle on -
I'm 18 and I have been totally bald since I was about 12 almost thirteen and I have only ever gone out with one guy. He was really nice and everything and I don't know whether he knew that I was bald or not (since I never told him) but he ended up feeling a lot more like a friend than a boyfriend. It was just kind of weird because he was smaller than me and I'm only 5'4" and I'm pretty sure I could take him in a fight so that only lasted one date lol. I haven't gone on a date since then and to be honest I am really nervous about it. When do you tell someone? I just don't want to get burned for speaking up too early but I don't want them to feel like I was deliberately lying to them too. And then there is the whole worry about them touching the wig because lets face it that is a bad way to find out lol. So I would really never know if they treated me differently on a date because I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18. Although I do have a twin sister so we will see.
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Permalink Reply by Heather Teachworth on
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I think if you carry yourself in a confident manner and are just matter of fact about it -then it wont be a big deal. You have to just own it and be confident about it which it sounds like you are. That is what is attractive to men. Ive asked my husband this question and he totally agreed with that answer. Anyway you are gorgeus!!!!!!
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