My daughter is starting her sophomore year and changing to a large university. We moved her down to her new apartment today because she is "rushing" this week. I really don't understand the whole sorority thing because I went to nursing school but it is important to her so, I support her. She has a new friend staying with her and she pulled me aside today to tell me this girl's dad is dying of cancer. I asked her if she had shared her condition with this new friend and she said no. I said, "you know that you understand pain better than most people your age so you can be a true friend to this girl." She agreed and appreciated that her dad was down on the floor putting together her new desk. Pain comes in all forms and it seems that everyone is dealing with something. Alopecia definately gives you a perspective that most people don't have. I am also happy to report that alopecia is not keeping my daughter from doing anything that she wants to.

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Comment by Tallgirl on August 15, 2011 at 6:28am
Sorority rush is when the sororities are "sending out job openings" for membership to new students, the freshman go to events and info sessions (sometimes at sorority houses) to see if the girls/philosophy/ attitudes mesh, and then the sororities make "job offers" (I am using terms adults might understand...these are not used on campus) to the girls they want to invite. It works two ways: your daughter can also decline groups she doesn't think will fit or understand her. I was in an honor and a social sorority during my college years, but I picked a small sorority that didn't have a house, but did have humor and a fun nature, while I was still wearing a wig. When my hair grew back, I celebrated at a sorority/fraternity mixer, and danced with pure joy! Maybe your daughter can find a sorority that has cancer treatment programs as the philanthropy, and give some expertise about wigs and hair loss in her interview.
Comment by Karen Smith on August 15, 2011 at 9:52pm
Hopefully it will turn out to be a positive experience. She is not letting alopecia get in the way of her doing what she wants which I applaud.
Comment by Susan Innes on August 18, 2011 at 6:07pm
Hi- As Tallgirl mentioned, rush is a way of finding future friends to live with, visiting many different houses, going through many interviews during parties, and being judged initially unfortunately rather superficially from head to toe by what you are wearing and how you present yourself. While going through rush, the houses have the option of inviting the visitor back, and the visitor in turn has a chance to make her preferences. These are then matched confidentially by women from each sorority (panhellenic members). After a week of rushing (matching), the girl is hopefully asked back to spend a night at the final two sorority house selections, and both parties again make their preferences with a final invitation at the end of rush. The most comfortable houses should share many of your daughter's interests and goals.

Unlike Tallgirl, I belonged to a very large national sorority living in a house with 65 other girls. During that period, I wore wigs and suffered Bells Palsy (a facial paralysis). These girls were very supportive (even asking if I would like to continue assisting in rush with a paralyzed face). The house made dating easier, college life more relaxed and fun, and gave me more confidence than imaginable. She would certainly be a great asset to whatever group she joins. Susan

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