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How can I make it better for my daughter?
My daughter is in second grade and she started wearing a wig to school since day one because thats what she wanted, her wigs looks very natural and stays on all day, before school started i wrote a letter to the principal and her teachers to let them know she would be wearing a wig everything was fine untill about a week ago she told me that her teacher made her talk to her class about her condition. then kids started teasing her about not having hair, My daughter says that her classmates told the other kids in the school that she has a wig and now everyone keeps on asking her why she has a wig, there is even one little girl that keeps asking over and over, she says that at first she would explain to them but she got tired of it and just wants them to forget about it, i thought by kids knowing about alopecia would help stop teasing but in my daughters case seemed to be the opossite, what should i do, how can i make it easier for my daughter maybe it would have been better if they didn't know. And i know that we need to create awareness but in my daughter's case is hurting her and it breaks my heart. i have always told her not to be ashamed that there is nothing wrong with not having hair she is beutifull no matter what and that people will always have something to say.
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Comment by soniamarry on October 12, 2010 at 7:40am
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hI Saida! I am sorry to hear that your little one is having such a rough time at school. It is rough enough having to deal day in and day out with Alopecia never mind the added pressures. You should definitely start with the teacher and if all else fails then the principal. I think the kids are just asking because they are curious.Even though Ariana explained it to them they probably still don't get the concept and they probably don't even know that they are hurting her feelings. Perhaps, you could visit the class. Maybe answer the questions they might have or read a children's book about alopecia. Later, you may want to brainstorm ways of helping Ariana "feel better". You can ask them how they think Ariana feels right now and how do they think they can make her feel happy again. Ariana may chime in and say things like "stop asking why i wear a wig" and thus make the other kids aware that that bothers her. I hope this helps! :) Many blessings to you and Ariana!
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This may be a good children's book to read. You might want to take a look at it. The Girl With No Hair: A Story About Alopecia Areata (Health Press for Kids) [Paperback]
Elizabeth Murphy-Melas (Author), Alex Hernandez (Illustrator)
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Comment by Lauren Edelman on October 12, 2010 at 12:09pm
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The same thing happened to me when I was about her age. When I got fed up with kids asking me all the time I would tell them to leave me alone and try my best to ignore them. When the kids on my street started to tease me I got my mom to talk to them.
I think Soniamarry has a wonderful idea, talk to the kids and read them a book, they just need to be educated about Alopecia.
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Comment by Saida Z. (Ariana's mom) on October 12, 2010 at 12:51pm
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Thank you everyone the book idea is great, and its only been over a week since this all started maybe they'll foget about it after a little while, Alopecia is very difficult to deal with even for me as a parent that don't have it, i cannot even imagine what is like for the little ones
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Comment by David A on October 12, 2010 at 2:31pm
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I would suggest a very serious talk with the teacher and principal. Bring a guidance councilor into it as well. I assume that you did not write the staff of the school so they could inform all of the children, but rather to give them a heads up on what was happening and why. What possible reason your daughter's teacher had to put her in this position is hard to fathom. That would be my first question, 'Why did you do this?' Also, 'What do you intend to do to remedy this situation?' There probably isn't much that can be done, but that shouldn't stop you from holding the staff accountable for their indiscretion.
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Comment by Sarah Eisenhardt on October 12, 2010 at 2:44pm
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PLEASE visit the Children's Alopecia Project. They can help you in so many ways! Also consider filing a 503 Plan that will give your daughter the right by law to varius things such as:
The child is able to wear a hat if he or she wants to wear one.
The child is allowed to have a buddy in his or her class who knows the child and knows he or she has alopecia.
The child's classmates are to be educated about his or her alopecia. For example, brochures and/or dvds are distributed to all classrooms or, in elementary school, the teacher reads a story about alopecia.
All of the teachers and staff are educated about the child's alopecia so that they can be sensitive and supportive about any related issues that may occur.
CAP will also provide brochures and/or information about in-services to teachers, parents and students to help educate them about alopecia.
PLEASE PLEASE visit this website and send an email they will even send a library program to your childs school donated in your daughters name.
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Comment by Diahna Lynn Studio on October 12, 2010 at 7:54pm
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Hi Saida
Ariana is so pretty. She sounds like a strong girl. I would make sure you do things to boost her self confidence; outside of school like putting her in modeling school, dance class ect.. I am so happy you are listening to hear thats very important. Make sure she knows she is beautiful show her clips of another beautiful girls with Alopecia like Kayla Martell Miss Delaware. I like soniamarry's idea of the book. Maybe you could read the book to the class.
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Comment by Diana Carter on October 13, 2010 at 2:10am
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First of all, I hope the teacher got your consent for this, and also, your daughter's. If not, that is very wrong! Second...the book is a great idea. Sometimes young children do not understand their actions are hurting someone. I recently told my (just turned) 6 year old nephew about my AA, so he wouldn't worry about me if he saw my bald spots, and he said, "Ha Ha! That's funny. I can't wait to go to school, and tell ALL my friends AND my teacher!" He really didn't understand that it was no joking matter...he had just never met anyone who's hair was falling out. ( I told him it was like my body was attacking my hair, and causing it to fall out.) I explained to him that I was not sick, and that I would be okay. Maybe the book will help most of the kids. I have had adults that said things to me, and it didn't even dawn on them that what they just said was very hurtful to me. Good luck to your daughter.
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Comment by Susan Beausang on October 16, 2010 at 7:48am
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Ariana is so pretty and BRAVE. My heart goes out to these little girls - I got alopecia at a much older age. It's not easy - no one truly understands the emotions associated with this disease. Has she tried on of my beaubeuas? Quite often the girls feel like it's similar to having hair - they stay on and look really cute. I wish her the best of luck with her shool year!
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Thank you so much everyone your comments are really helpfull. I spoke to the principal about the cituation and she had a talk with Ariana and the little girl that was giving her the most thouble she was even hitting her. That was yesterday today i spoke to my daughter and she says she had a better day the little girl left her alone, Kids are scared of the principal im sure it'll stop, Im glad that we have such support system again Thank you so much everyone
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