I use the word veteran literally and mean it. I have been fighting a war against alopecia from the moment I was diagnosed at age 4, and have waged brutal battles against countless doctors, classmates, friends, family members, and significant others. I have hated myself and my looks for more years than I care to count, and I distrust anybody who dares to think that I am beautiful in spite of alopecia. I have prayed daily for 10,592 days (as of this morning) for a treatment that won't reverse itself the moment I stop taking it, a cure so I don't have to take anything else, and a vaccine to prevent anyone else from getting alopecia. I have blamed genetics, the environment, the food I eat, the hole in the ozone layer, living a wicked life, the sins of my parents and grandparents, you name it -- I've done all of that and more in 29 years. I have educated, inspired, demonized, researched, and hoped for 10,592 days and will do all of this and more for the next 10,592 days if that is what it takes to get a cure as well.

I also, with the passage of time, come to the conclusion that unless I have Bill Gates's money or the influence of every lobbyist in Washington, I am not likely to see a cure for alopecia in my lifetime. So yes, I have learned to accept how I look, because guess what? It's not likely to change anytime soon. Do I think bald is beautiful? Absolutely I do. I love the fact that in hellishly hot, humid Tennessee summers like the one we're having now, I don't have to worry about my hair making me any hotter than I already am. I love the fact that it takes me less than 20 minutes to get ready for work, makeup included, and be out the door. I love the fact that I save more money per month on NOT having to buy hair care products or meds that don't work. And I LOVE that nowadays I am seeing more and more people modeling in fashion magazines and on TV and movies that are rocking the bald look. Most of all, thanks to NAAF and their conference as well as other support sites, I take comfort in the fact that I am NOT alone.

Gathering at a place like the NAAF Conference is much, MUCH more than just going to give NAAF money on a "Bridge to Nowhere" research goose chase. For many of the attendees, especially the children, it is the only chance during the year to let down the walls we erect to protect our feelings, to shed the feelings of isolation and ostracism that we experience daily as we try to fit into a hirsute world. It is also probably the only time that a great number of the attendees will even SEE, let alone speak to, another person with alopecia. And to have that experience alone is worth paying any price.

Do I feel that the alopecian community should be more vociferous and put our money where our mouth is and demand progress? Of course I do, and I don't think that anyone living with alopecia would disagree with me on that. However, I also think that it is just as important that we do spread the message about awareness, acceptance, and support - because whether your hair grows back in a day, week, month, year, decade, century, millennium, or never, you HAVE to have confidence in yourself in order to take over the world and get it to hear what you have to say. Make no mistake: I WILL NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP THE FIGHT FOR A CURE FOR ALOPECIA. I have subjected my body to drug after drug after drug and endured the heartache of having my hair grow back only for it to fall out again. I don't remember much of my life before alopecia, but you better believe I remember every day I have lived after my diagnosis.

It has also come to my attention recently that some people, when reading my blog posts and replies to various discussions on AW and other support sites, perceive me as a know-it-all bully. I think -- and the emphasis here is that I THINK -- that this is because of two things: 1) these same people can't be bothered to do their due diligence and research anything and everything that affects them so personally, and 2) they're not used to someone shooting straight from the hip, calling things as they see it, and telling it like it is. Every time I hear this, I can't help but think of "The Emperor's New Clothes" and these people as the Emperor living in the moment when the child pointed out that he was naked. My answer to the "Emperors" in the AW community is this: I KNOW I'm naked. I know what I know because guess what? I researched everything, and every single time I hear something new about alopecia I research it as well. I have walked out of doctors' offices, called experienced doctors dumb to their faces when they don't know or can't be bothered to know what I'm talking about, and I'm proud of it. Because guess what? That doctor whose authority and God complex I challenged might have been the doctor to tell YOU something that was inaccurate, incomplete, or just flat out WRONG, which could one day cost you a LOT more than just the hair on your head. I have researched my rights in the workplace, the classroom, and the privacy of my own home so that alopecians that follow in my footsteps can enjoy the freedom to bare all or cover up at their convenience and comfort, and don't have to be the victim all the time. I fight for myself and on behalf of all alopecians; when I defend myself, I defend you too, so that REAL bullies can't make you feel less than what you are. And when I get blunt and abrasive, I do so in the hope that you see it for what it is -- a devil's advocate point of view that challenges you to think for yourselves and speak up for yourselves, rather than cower behind private emails and mouse clicks toward something more gentle. I do this because I have spent my time in the trenches kow-towing to the beliefs of society, changing myself to appease loved ones and significant others, and biting my tongue because I was afraid someone wasn't going to like me because I said what was on my mind. Every time I did that, I was allowing myself to be silenced by a REAL bully, and eventually I got tired of it. I fought back, and I will continue to fight back, and if anyone doesn't like reading what I have to say, then I feel especially sorry for that person, because then you let alopecia and your own fears win, and make you weak, and if there's anything I can't stand, it's weakness that could have been prevented.

My blog is just that -- my personal journal of my ups and downs, highs and lows, and opinions about alopecia and life and how I see it all. I don't care if you like what I have to say or not. I welcome the critiques on my writings and my viewpoints, because it invites dialogue rather than discourages it. And if I have to do this for another 10,592 days, if it inspires one person to be more than what they are - if it motivates and challenges anyone to fight as I have fought and continue to fight - then this is one battle of many I am proud to have fought and won!

The War on Alopecia has no winners - everyone alopecia touches loses out in so many ways - which is why I employ unorthodox methods in the hope of eradicating it. I hope everyone my words reach will join me in this fight, and become an alopecia veteran too!