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Child protective service visit
So tomorrow I'm getting a visit from CPS. Apparently, the school called CPS on my wife and I for child neglect because my twelve year old daughter has Alopecia. She started losing her hair around January. She's completely hairless now. When we noticed the patches we took her to a dermatologist. He diagnosed her and then gave us some medicine which didn't work. I don't believe there is any form of medicine to treat this type of Alopecia. So the school figured they'd wait until she returned the next year after summer break and if she was still bald they'd contact CPS and file a complaint. We don't treat her any differently. We never ask her to wear her wig or hat when we go out. We try and make her environment as stress free as possible. She's so comfortable now she doesn't even wear a hat or wig at school. Unfortunately she's probably going to get upset when this government employee shows up tomorrow to start asking questions about her condition. So how should I deal with this? Do I allow this CPS employee into my home or just talk outside and how do I deal with the school? Any advice would be great. Thank you.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tony on
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You do not need to hire an attorney at this time. The school has an obligation to report if they believe that a child has been abused or neglected and it's probably an over reaction to the latter in this case. The Agency has an obligation to investigate and in many instances the case worker gets a sense it is nonsense and just asks the basic questions, submits a report that there is no basis to conclude any neglect or abuse and the case gets closed. As others have said, I would provide them evidence that the child has been treated which is the obligation of the parent and that the child has a condition that is being addressed medically and that should do it. I would cooperate. Once the matter is closed out, you need to sit down with the school nurse or Administrator. Best of luck.
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Permalink Reply by LilyPants on
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I am completely infuriated by this! That is terrible! They didn't even contact you? They didn't even try to research this or EVEN ASK THE CHILD?! I am so sorry this is happening. My child has alopecia and if the school called CPS on us for that, I'd be suing EVERYBODY! Contact the newspapers, contact the town and the school board and district! This kind of thing needs to be used as a learning opportunity for those who do now know about alopecia. This should NEVER have to happen to a child or a family dealing with alopecia.
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Permalink Reply by terri on
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The educators in your daughters school need to be taken to task for having horrible communication skills and incredible ignorance & lack of knowledge. Were they never told of her alopecia last year? Does anyone talk to each other in the schools in Texas? After you contact your lawyer, the board of education, the press and publicly humiliate them, I would recommend putting your daughter in private school. The communication is excellent and I wouldn't let her public school get one more cent of taxpayer money on behalf of your family.
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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I wish you could have posted this earlier.....you need an attorney.....never underestimate the evil and destruction thAT CPS can do to a family. They have the legal right to come into your home and do pretty much what they want....that is why you need an attorney, along with confirmation from your daughter's dermatologist that is a medical condition, and not one caused by child abuse.
Please believe me, you MUST gird yourself to do battle with these people for the sake of your child!
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I'm having déjà vu here... as outrageous as the situation is, I'm sure you're not alone in your plight, as I have read a very similar story about a school flipping out over alopecia before. I wish I could remember where I saw it.
The world can feel like one giant, ignorant, peanut gallery when you have alopecia. I have a feeling though, that once you are dealing with the CPS employee... this will be one situation at least where common sense will prevail.
I have a psychology degree, so although I haven't worked in CPS area myself, many close friends who I studied with have. Their interests are in whether or not a child has been abused, and that the child's basic needs are being met. They have seen some of the worst situations imaginable, so a case that turns out to be a well looked after child who just happens to have alopecia would be one of their better days.
You're going to want to have a calm and informative (for them) conversation with the CPS employee, so you may be most comfortable in your own home anyway. If you have concerns for your daughter's welfare stemming from the way the school is likely to handle her condition, be sure to mention that.
If I am wrong about my common sense theory... then you would be looking at appeals and complaints procedures (but it obviously shouldn't come to that). Come back to this thread and don't go through it alone. I am very interested in how things go for you, and I really hope that your experience with the CPS employee is a reassuring one.
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Permalink Reply by Margaret Brennan on
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I would welcome them into your home. I would not be defensive. I would have information about alopecia, the name and address and phone number of her doctor to give them and ask them if they would like to contact the National Alopecia Areata Foundation for additional information and give them the info. Explain to your daughter that the school does not understand what is happening to her and that they are not being mean but are worried about her.
If you are not defensive, and are not hostile and give them information then are likely to go away.
but then I would call NAAF and get all the info they have for schools and take it to them and also go to the school board and do a presentation about alopecia and explain to them what this disease is. september is awareness month and as a very angry parent great time to do some PR> Contact the health reporter from a local tv station and ask her/him to do a story about alopecia and you could tell them how the school came after you instead of researching the disease. YOu might also want to contact the press after you have things straightened out.
But then I also have to ask you. when you daughter got aloopecia did you go and educate the school about her condition. Have you contacted NAAF for information? Many parents start by going to the school nurse and then the principal and teachers and then do an education piece for their childs fellow students. Parents have found that this is a very good way to educate children and adults
about the disease etc.Now another direction - if the CPS worker does not respond positively to your education effort - but make sure you have been positive and not defensive - then I would go to the press with the story. I would ask your daughter if she would like to be involved in talking to the public about alopecia. check if there is a support group near to where you live. get them involved in an educational effort.
I am sorry you are going through this - over the years I have heard about this happening to other families. getting up in arms does not help since these folks are looking for signs of neglect or abuse that might be causing the hair to fall out. oh another idea, today call your dematologist and let them know what his happening to your daughter - this report and the school doing this. he/she might be willing to make a call to CPS for you.
don't blame the CPS worker, they are required to respond to every call.
just another question - are you a minority, economically in the lower half, or any other issue which might have caused the school to pursue this rather than just asking you to come in and talk about what is happening to your daughter - do they think you are keeping her from wearing a wig? if it is a financial issue about getting her hair - does she want a wig? there are free ones available through NAAF.anyway - I am throwing you all my various thoughts after 60 plus years of having this and also 30 plus years being a support group leader off and on and a contact person for NAAF.
Good luck, I will be interested in hearing about the outcome of this terrible experience for you.
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Great advice, Margaret! I am now wondering if this little girl could be "forced" by CPS to wear a wig if she didn't want to.......
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I think if the 12 year old said no to wearing a wig they cannot force her. if other children are uncomfortable something else is going on. one really has to wonder about this school and the teachers.. although we only know one side of the story.
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True...other parents could be flipping out.....although really they should mind their own business. This family has ENOUGH to deal with. It's things like this that makes people (who I used to think were anti-social), homeschool their children.
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I cant believe it!!! We try to care for all our kids to the best of our abilities & acknowledge any differences with sensitivity and love. We try to protect them within a loving & caring environment while giving them just enough independence to let them find their slot in society.......only to find that all your hard work could start to unravel through a misdirected comment.
The fault isnt with cps, as they have to follow up any concern, but with the school for not discussing the matter with the parents, child & class teacher in an informal, relaxed environment. This way, the teacher & parents would feel fully informed of each others thoughts & the child would feel at ease knowing that no one's looking for blame.
Having a child with alopecia myself, I know that there are enough trials & tribulations for any schoolgoing child to overcome without piling on more. Stress may not have been the initial cause of the alopecia but it has to work against the general wellbeing of any child.
Sounds like the wheels are already in motion so I would advise (not with any legal or professional background - just a concerned fellow parent) you arm yourself with child friendly legal advice & let the cps do what they have to do to reach the right conclusion. Try not to let your frustration or anger about the situation manifest itself to the cps in any defensive tones or this could seem like you're putting up walls with something to hide.......
Here's hoping they conclude as quickly as they started with very little mess for you to pick up & continue on with your lives :)
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Permalink Reply by VeryLarry on
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Ordinarily, I would treat someone not knowing about Alopecia as an opportunity to educate them & not take it too personally. Such should be the case in how you handle the CPS worker. They just have to do their job. Be decent & open with them, provide info if you can, & pass along your grievance about the matter in a courteous way. Be nice, but let them know you're NOT happy about this. That it is making a delicate issue more difficult & the school is to blame for that
Educators at your child's school have a responsibility to KNOW some things. Their ignorance is an emotional hardship on you & your child. If they can't be bothered to research or investigate something before they involve official governmental authorities, then they should be made to pay for their ignorant actions & waste of governmental resources.
This isn't the 1st time I've heard about this happening. If it were me, I'd hang the school out to dry. One or two phone calls to you or google searches could have cleared this whole matter up before it got to this point. Learn something! You're a teacher! That they were too stupid or stubborn to do that is a cause for action in my humble opinion.
A more forgiving person might just approach the school administrators, as has been suggested, but as I see it, their actions were terribly thoughtless & cruel, & they have caused more harm than good
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Permalink Reply by Cinder B. Rand on
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Dear jtucker4,
Wow that is a mind blowing blog. I was wondering why? Are they doing this because of their (the schools) uncomfort? What if she was having some sort of treatment and from the treatment lost all of her hair? Would they respond in this way? I doubt it. Please keep us posted as to the results of the meeting. Your child seems to be very adjusted and strong. I am thinking of you. As if we do not have to deal with enough. Good luck!!! Peace Cinder
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