Yes, the very term 'Alopecia' causes me to cringe. Even after 20 plus years. I am still uncomfortable talking about my hair loss. Good news, I am in love now with a wonderful man who loves me for me. It was very hard to discuss my hair loss at the beginning of our relationship; only telling him with the mind-set "another one [will] bite the dust." Nonetheless, he has stood by me. I have yet to go 'hatless,' but he knows and allows me the time/space to process my experience. Its evident you are an awesome person with compassion and concern, why not start the much needed conversation with how you feel about her and then assure her it is okay that she doesn't have hair. In this case, please be careful not to use the word alopecia at first approach. Best wishes!