Comment by Tenille Gee on May 5, 2009 at 5:47pm

Just keep in mind that just because they liked the hat doesn't mean that they don't like you without it. Compliments on one thing does not mean disliking another. I am sure it is only you that feels that it is "ugly" hair, we are always more critical of ourselves than anyone else could ever be.

Comment by Tawny on May 5, 2009 at 8:55pm

You're right though Tenille, I am my own worst critic and a great(bad?) one at that. But still, it's hard NOT to come to that conclusion when it has been sooo long since I've ever gotten a compliment from a complete stranger before, let alone a specific compliment about my looks. What's different? the hat... and come on, a Walmart hat can't be THAT great.. ?! with the hat, people see past the thinning hair? who knows.. I'm just feeling pretty down about it these days.

Comment by Alexandra on May 5, 2009 at 9:57pm

Maybe YOU made the hat look great! I bet you wore it very nicely. And like Tenille said, just because they liked the hat doesn't mean they don't like you without it. Always take a compliment in a good way. That's how it was meant.

Alexandra

Comment by Tawny on May 6, 2009 at 11:03pm

Thank you all for your kind words. I guess the difference that I see and feel is this: I agree that the people who already know me (my colleagues) complimented ME with the hat. But it was the difference in the reception I got from total strangers that affected me most. I recieved compliments, sales people were nicer, more of them offered to help me, strangers actually "looked" at me, instead of ignored or looked away. subtle differences that I noticed because I DO take note of how people react to me in public. ??? just observations

Comment by Tenille Gee on May 11, 2009 at 8:45pm

I my personal opinion is that when you feel good about yourself (as you did in the hat) people do look at you differently, they see the inner beauty that is often hidden when we are self conscious about things or don't feel like we "deserve" compliments. My guess is the extra compliments were the confidence that you showed because you FELT good not because you LOOKED that much better. I can't even explain to you the difference in your looks when you feel good about yourself, result, do whatever makes you feel good.

Comment by Tawny on May 12, 2009 at 3:28pm

Yes... that IS true Tenille, confidence is very attractive, and you're right, I have certainly been lacking THAT since my hair started thinning!! So... we will see. I have officially begun wig shopping and am getting excited about getting a wig and finally having hair... and confidence! :) I'm already starting to feel better (my previous posts were obviously written when feeling pretty low).

Comment by Tenille Gee on May 14, 2009 at 5:50pm

Glad to hear you are feeling better Tawny. I can hear it in your writing, your confidence is already starting to show through. Good for you.

Comment by Tawny on May 14, 2009 at 6:31pm

Thanks Tenille... :) Thanks to all of you who give me strength in your own experiences and triumphs :)

Comment by Michelle on July 10, 2009 at 11:05pm

I too have thinning hair and find myself examining other women's heads to see if their scalp is showing. I would have to say that I'm somewhat obsessive about the scalp. It's comforting to know that I'm not so alone. You rock your new wig!!

Comment by Tawny on July 30, 2009 at 9:15pm

Thanks Michelle! and yes, you are not alone... I certainly obsess about it too. Now that I wear a wig, I feel so much better about myself, but I still am obsessing -- now, not only do I notice if people have thin/thick hair, when I see women with great hair, I wonder... "is it a wig?" LOL So, I don't think my obsession about other women's hair has subsided any. The difference is that now I can look at other women's hairstyles and think, "ooo I could have that style if I wanted !!" and that is a really nice thought to have, because I used to feel so "trapped" in my short, thinning ugly hair and could never have any other "do". But now, I know that I could have almost any hairstyle I want! :)

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