Alopecia World
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Coping With Alopecia
Sometimes I just do not know what to do; daytime I put on my wig, my make-up, and my smile. At night, I remove my wig, my make-up, my smile, and tears roll down my face. I feel unwanted by my significant other. My children ask me why am I bald, and I feel like they do not like me, but do I like myself, No. I do not want this condition, I do not think that this is fair...why does life have to be like this. I have no hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows; nothing. My eyes burn, I can not find a dermatologist in Ohio, I am a single mother of four children, I live in low income housing...I have nothing at this point...I am not happy. I go out, and drink to avoid dealing with this issue. I am dying inside, while I put on my wig, my make-up, and my smile.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carmella on -
It gets easier. Wish I could say when, but I can't. We're all hear for you whenever you need us.
XOXO
CAR
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Permalink Reply by Linda on -
Hi Tyla, girl you are beautiful! Hold your head high, please don't cry, be strong, be brave...you're beautiful! I'd like to say I know how you feel, but we all handle this thing God gave us, differently. I only know that your strength will come from Him and from yourself, but beauty...beauty can not, will not, be denied!
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Permalink Reply by Ree Hotfessional on -
Oh Tyla, I'm so sorry honey that you're feeling so bad. I was there. I was there 12 years ago the first time this happened. And even though my hair grew back, I was always scared that it was going to happen again.
Guess what.
It did. And y'know what? I finally figured out that I could shut down and crawl into a shell, or I could let people see me. I could let them see what it was like to accept yourself as is - flaws and bald head and all. And I'm a 45-year-old woman with zits AND wrinkles. ;-)
My sixteen year old and my 24 year old, and my wonderful husband have become comfortable with my bald head. In fact, when I got my wig, the 16-year-old asked me, "You're not going to wear that all of the time are you? I like seeing the real you." My husband thinks it's hot. ;-)
Does that mean that I like this? Oh, hell no. I've cried. I've railed. I've gone into depressive silences. My mother cannot accept that I'm bald - she cries when she sees me. Whether I'm wearing my wig or not. I dream about myself with hair (even blond, which, believe me, I never had - hee hee) every single night. I travel back and forth from Detroit to Chicago for work - and only a very few people know that underneath my scarves, I have no hair. I have no eyebrows, and my eyelashes are so thin, when I put mascara on, I feel like I'm poking myself in the eye. ;-)
I know I'm talking about myself, but honey...I want you to know you're not alone.
It's NOT fair. It's not fair that any of us have to go through this. It sucks. It sucks so bad. It sucks that this is one of the least known auto-immune diseases. And because it's only deadly to our happiness, in the 12 years I've had it, I'm reading the EXACT same things about what causes it and what treatments are available that I read 12 years ago.
I've gone on long enough. I will tell you though, one thing more than anything else. I have found a home here. I've only been here about a week - and these people in this forum have made me feel welcome - they've answered my questions - they've made me laugh and cry. And I have a home here. Even with my husband and my kids...I have found people here to are understanding and loving and more than anything, I enjoy spending some time with. It means more than you can imagine.
Join us my friend. Let us help you so that you won't feel like you're dying inside. Because we would then lose part of us.
XXOO
Ree
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Permalink Reply by Andrea Juhasz on -
I think I might cry ...
I have an enormous amount of empathy for you. There's no denying that life can be cruel at times, and when it is, it's hard to see that we'll ever get through. Every now and then I sink a little lower, then I fight my way to the top again. I surround myself with my loving friends and family, who are always there when I need them. Sometimes you just have to reach out you know? It's ok to ask for help. I was battling depression for a while, and I've decided to stay off the anti - depressants, for now (heheh), and still there are some days where I feel so low I cry and I cry ... I shake ... but then a new day begins.
You have to fight ... you have the right to enjoy your life, hair or no hair. Do what you have to do to make life your bitch!
hehee
please feel free to message me at anytime!
I'm here for you.
Andrea
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Permalink Reply by Andrea Juhasz on
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hehehe ... :)
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Permalink Reply by Amber Lounder on -
Hi
My name is Amber and I'm new to this forum. I've been reading(devouring) everyones stories. I find myself reading through tears,everyone's here is so courageous It is a huge awareness for me.
I started loosing my hair a month ago, The doctor thought I had a fungal infection.she prescribed strong oral antifungal pills (which I am currently taking)
The pills are not working and I'm quite certain I have AA ,50% of my hair has gone.
I think I'm aware of what could happen and am prepared ,although it isn't easy. Finding this forum has helped me Feeling like you are not alone is comforting. So Tyla , I'm with the other women in saying your children will admire your strengh and love you with or without hair..:))
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Permalink Reply by Lorena on -
Sweety your children will love you no matter what. Let them be your badge of courage and love. As a parent it is your duty to teach them that you must accept your lot in life and rise above it. I became a parent and bald all at the same time. I had to be happy for my infant son, so I learned to count my blessings. And smile always for him, as my sons grew I taught them to never let the assholes get you down. A Smile was my suit of armor, and my childrens love and happiness my sword. Yes, life gives you lemons, it's up to us to make lemonade. Being happy and brave for my sons is what brought me thru the transition of being an alopecian. My sons are grown now and they are fine additions to the world. They accept all people and their differnces, in fact embrace those who are different.
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Permalink Reply by Vanessa on
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Tyla, I really feel your pain. I go through the same thing everyday. I have been dealing with this for a long time and I still have a hard time accepting this condition. Nobody would ever know the pain I feel inside when I look in the mirror. When I put on my wig in the morning I smile and " fake". Everybody thinks I am coping just fine, but in reality I am very depressed and my self esteem has hit rock bottom. I hope and pray that we both can move to a place of acceptance. I understand that I am more than my hair, but society very judgemental
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Permalink Reply by Karen on
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I know how you feel but as you just said you have four beautiful children and compared to them maybe hair really is nothing I go to bed every night and pray for hair but wake up every morning and thank god for my children. I also drink to forget but unfortunately the reminder is always in the mirror the next morning, I am hoping talking to people will help me and you get over this feeling
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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thank you for sharing this information. I use to feel a lot like you do. I started get alopecia in high school and it was really tough for me. I use to cry each and every night beacuse I didnt know what to do. There where times when I would go to the bathroom and get dressed in the dark because I was so afraid to look at myself in the mirror. I tried to avoid mirrors as much as possible. My friends and family turned their backs on me and I was heartbroken. Sometimes life isnt fair. I now realize that things like this happen to make us stronger. I had the opportunity to talk to two women a couple of months ago that really changed my view on living with alopecia. One of the ladies use to be a track star. She was one of the fastest women at her school, and even thought about going out for the Olympics until a fatal accident took her legs. She told me about how she became depressed and angry. She started to distance herself from her family and started drinking to cope. It took her some time to finally accept not having any legs. Let me make a long story short, this woman has become a social worker and gives her testimony at local churches. This woman once told me how she would give anything to have her legs back. What im trying to say is that we may not have any hair but we should be happy to have our legs,arms, and our sight. There are people out there that would be happy to even have the opportunity to walk or even see. When I look in the mirror now I see black and beautiful. There are times when I get sad because of my situation but I realize that going through this has made me realize things about myself that i never have before. One thing for sure is that drinking wont solve anything. You will feel the same way or even worse when the alcohol has worn off. I know this because I use to drink and use drugs to cope with my alopecia. I started to realize that those things werent going to bring my hair back. I learning to accept the fact that I have to live with this but Im still hoping that it will grow back one day. I just want you to know that you are beautiful and God loves you.
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Permalink Reply by Jenn on -
tyla IM SO TOTALLY THERE WITH YOU!!!! i am brand new to this and totally lost and alone. i went through a divorce so it is just my kids and me. i am so lost and devastated and not dealing with this issue at all! i dont even know how to wear a wig all i do is tye a bandana around my head and i know that just makes me look sick. im in ft worth tx if there is anyone close that can help me out. i go to work everyday, but that is re-locating to colorado and i have to find another job which is stressing me out as well. i just don't know what to do and i feel like i am i a hole and can't get out. no one i know understands this at all.
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