Sundays are my favorite day of the week! I came home this morning from work to find that a water pipe had busted under the house yet again. So I fill up the kitchen sink before he cuts the water off. First I bathe Kaleigh then get her out and start to let the water out. Panic sets in for a split second as I realize if I let the water out there will be none for me and I need to shower before church so I grab the sink stopper and plug the hole. As I'm climbing in the kitchen sink to take my turn bathing....ok I did not climb into the sink. As I stand in front of the sink with soapy water all over me, the counter and the floor, I have this amazingly funny, in the moment, had to be there, kind of thought..."this is my proof, alopecia is NOT contagious!" How do I know this? Because every hair on each of my legs stood straight up, tauting me, knowing that I was not going to get them way up there into that sink, and there was nothing I could do to change that. There they were covered in the same soapy water that washed my daughter's alopecia covered head refusing to be so gracious as to catch just the smallest amount of aa! So checking to see just how much every prickly hair had grown, I gave up and put on pants. A few minutes later I start combing Kaleigh's hair and find a new bald spot about the size of a fifty cent piece. Its under her top layers of hair, so for now its not visible but its definately there and her hair is definately getting thinner. I want to cry but I don't, instead I sing Old Mcdonald Had a Farm to her and finish getting ready for church. I've been through this routine a thousand times but for some reason today I was lagging. No sleep, no motavation and now heartache that I found another spot. I wanted to go to bed and sleep all day! I talked myself into going to church, arrive just in time to walk in late which seems to be my speciality lately. I slip into a back pew and take a deep breath, I did the right thing... I was there. Everything was going as planned until we sing a song that says there is coming a day with no more sickness or pain, no more tears will fill the eyes, no more sorrow over there....ok so I can't remember all the words excatly. Anyway, I hear myself say no more tears will fill the eyes, no more sorrow over there and I just loose it. I don't think I've cried that hard in a long time. I could see it clear as day that one day alopecia would not matter anymore and she would have her perfect beautiful hair back. It hurt to sing those words, it felt like relief to sing those words, it felt like a privledge to sing those words....I could go on and on with so many different emotions flooding me at once. I simply held my head up, held my daughter and continued to sing...thanking God that not only will she be perfect one day but also that HE has a plan for my baby girl until then and its not my job to figure it out!

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Comment by laura ryan on August 31, 2009 at 8:36am
you will get through it :) and so will your lttle girl !! it must be really hard foryou to tell her whats happening? but even harder for your little girl ,all you can do is hold your head high and be strong as she is going to need you :)...........i have been bald for 3 years now and its what is deep down that counts!! hope you feel better real soon and good luck to your lttle one :]

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