Well...it has been quite awhile since Ive written on here. Lots of growth, and lots of self love since.

Last July 2nd, while in the midst of a week of overnight pet sitting gigs, being very sleep deprived, I went outside with nothing on my head. I usually wore a wig or a bandana or something. Very rarely went out with a bare head. As I was walking the dog I was caring for, I was thinking, okay, maybe no one will be out. As soon as I thought that, people started walking by or driving by. They all stared. Or so was my perception. At the end of the street there was a public works guy doing something with a water meter. He actually stopped working and stared. I have no idea why he stopped, but this set me off. I felt so ugly and horrible, I started crying and turned around, heading back inside out of the view of others.

After a few hours and a nap, my view changed. I decided I did not want to be that way. I did not want to feel I had to hide my head because it had no hair. I wanted to embrace my beauty, all of it. Since it was July 4th weekend, I decided to declare my independence and go bald for the whole weekend.

Almost a year later, I still go mainly bald all of the time. :-) I have gotten so much positive feedback, and it has been so freeing, I dont think I will go back to wearing wigs. I have had people stop me at the farmers market and say "You ROCK that look, girl!" I have people tell me they're jealous that I can feel the rain on my scalp and they cant. I feel so much more confident.

And last month, I had a chance to have my head painted. It was an incredible experience. I felt so beautiful, deep down I *knew* I was beautiful :-) I havent had many moments in my life where deep to my core I knew I was beautiful.

Going bald is not easy. Yes, people will stare, kids will look at you funny, and usually, thankfully, they will ask. I *love* when kids ask me why I have no hair. They usually say "Oh, okay." and move on to the next thing.

The hardest thing for me is when people think Im a cancer patient, and either give me a thumbs up and say "Youre a fighter, youll win" or something similar. I feel like I need a sign that says "It isnt chemo, I have alopecia- ask me about it" But, I cant wear a sign- I *wont* wear a sign. Perhaps a sign that says "Dont assume, ask me why Im bald" would be better?

Yes, I still have occasional "ugly" moments, but they are fleeting. I have times when Im at the farmers market and people stare at me. I realize that I stare at them many times too, envious of their long beautiful shiny hair. So it works both ways.

It isnt for everyone...but I am so glad I have found the courage to do it. It has changed my life, and many of my ways of thinking, about myself and the world around me.