Comment by shuaa on March 23, 2009 at 1:21pm

Hi Lauren
I really understand what you been throu. i lost my hair at the age of 13 and it happened while i was a teen i was only care about my look .i was depressed , frusrated for not having any answers and if i'm gonna see my hair ever again. i went in along isolation and crying but that didn't helpe me at any way.i learned to helpe myself by keeping postive and looking deeply to what i do have not what i don't.life is a journy and it has alot of abstacles that need us to be strong to overcome its difficulties.believe me what you need is keep on going cause life is full of suprieses and you would never know what life hiding for you.take most of it and be proud of your free spirit.
GOD pless you

Comment by Dielle on March 24, 2009 at 1:22am

I lost my hair when I had just turned 13 and entered middle school, so I totally get where you are coming from! I am now 18 and I will share something that I have learned. Life is too short to let other peoples judgments of your look make you feel bad. I have never really let my alopecia stop me from doing what I love or from being the same bubbly, friendly, caring, and good person. I played soccer in highschool even though I had no hair and had to wear a bandana because a wig could come off, I rode horses and did barn chores even though I knew I would have to wash my wig everytime I did, and I went to six flags with my cousins a couple of summers ago even though I was wearing a wig and had to tape it in place. The sad part is that no one is really paying attention to this disorder, but that is also the good part because no one is going to be paying attention to your hairloss. When I still lived in California, I was teased for a couple of years in middle school, but by the time I got to high school everybody was used to seeing me either with a baseball cap on or a wig and eventually I was just Dielle, not the kid that doesn't have any hair. We moved to Georgia in my sophomore year, and I decided not to share with my friends because they weren't the people I grew up with, and I was only going to be around them for a few years. Now I am going to go without anything on my head to my barn when I ride so I can finally give my horse a hug without worrying about my wig getting messed up (I think I am as passionate about horses as you are about music lol. I plan on becoming a large animal vet). My point is you have to learn to accept yourself no matter what it is you look like, because people only really see what you project. If you project insecurity people are going to look for the reason for that insecurity, and if you exude confidence all the will see is your confidence. Once you accept yourself no matter what you look like, you will feel such a relief like this huge weight has been taken from your shoulders. This is a hard disorder, and I admit I have been really depressed at times and sometimes I still get upset about everything (kinda hard to see your identical twin with a full head of hair), but then I remember, what does it really matter? People still like me, the right guys are still going to want to date me, and it doesn't change where I want my life to go. I think you will find that you will become even more sensitive to other peoples problems. At least that has been my experience. So much so that if the people that teased me in middle school talked to me today I could freely give my forgiveness because for people to be so cruel, they have to have something that really hurts inside. I have found that I have become very good at reading people as well, and I find myself picking up on emotions based off of a persons body language after all those years of looking for an attitude that was hurtful or cruel. I have always been mature beyond my years because all of my older brothers are 26+, and I didn't lose that. As far as the constantly worrying, I would recommend that you don't. Alopecia sometimes responds to treatment but a lot of times it doesn't, and because they don't know what causes this disorder, there isn't really anything that you can do to stop it, slow it down, or make it reverse. I hope you find self-acceptance, and the ability to let things happen as they may and not worry about things you can't change. E-mail me if you ever want to talk my email is diellemeyer@hotmail.com or you can message me on here.
Dielle

Comment by Joshua on March 24, 2009 at 8:30am

Hello Lauren,

I am sorry to hear about your alopecia. It is always a tough disease and I am inspired by your rational thinking and acceptance especially at the end of your post. I do wish to have my hair back if I have the option, as years pass...its more like I am curious of how would I look like with hair now and of course of the fashionable hair styles that I can try on. Unfortunately, with alopecia areata/ universalis...my options are only available on the accessories I can use to cover my scalp or probably a bolder step to tattoo my head. Being bald, we tend to look within an age range of 25 to 35 y/o (Not sure why, but I tend to fall within the range when people start guessing my age). Nevertheless, I always take that as a compliment as they say, the older the wiser.

I guess our personalities and inner qualities are the supreme priorities when it comes to areas that we should be looking forward to change. As much as we can change our physical appearance, the prettiest and hottest models 30 years are not spared from aging and 30 years from now the prettiest and the sexiest people now would even lost their attractiveness.

What truly will last is the kindness, generosity, sincerity and a genuine adorable soul or characteristic of a person. Which will be deeply remembered for centuries to come. If there is an option for me now to be a 6'2'' tall, atheletic build, handsome and dark guy (to be carried away with my physical attributes) or to be just as me at 5'5'', short, bald, pale (and probably fat one day...lol) with the life lesson that alopecia has taught me...I would probably choose the first one for a day or two only...and at the end of the day...I am who I am, the one that identifies me...to be just myself...no one else.

As once a wise man has told me, the beauty of person in heaven radiates from the person's heart. How wonderful is that for us to know because we have literally no option in choosing how our physical attributes will be on earth. The earth seems to be imperfect and unfair because it is marred by suffering, pain and deaths. However, in heaven everything is fair...its beauty is a reflection of one's heart where everyone is given a choice to choose. Ok, I just started preaching...

It is inescapable that we may feel depressed for some days but do not and never give up in living our lives to the fullest. We may be "noticeable" in many negative ways but I am trying to use the "noticeable" image or head...lol to my advantage. My head is very shiny and sometimes I describe myeslf to my closest friends as "a short, mobile lighthouse". Everyone in my faculty knows me and with that I add a smile on my face always...then I am known as the friendly bald guy.

Follow your heart and dream...and whoever say that you cant become a singer because you have alopecia...please refer them to me and I'll give them a piece of my mind if I'm kind enough not to give them a punch in the face first!

Take care and God bless.
Joshua
http://joshuablogspace.blogspot.com

Comment by Elaine on March 24, 2009 at 5:51pm

U have the exact same feelings I had when i first got alopecia at age 8. I feel like you're right about people not doing enough. I'm sure there have been research on it, but so many people are either unaware of what it is or they feel like it's only hair no big deal. But if they could only walk a mile in our shoes, they would know it's deeper than that. I have two suggestions to you. (a) Do not stop doing what u love. If u love music keep it up to the fullest. Enjoy it and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. (b) Pray! Pray! Pray! I used to do it as I get my injections and it keeps you focused and gives you the hope and the realization that God is able to change any situation. He has done so much for me and I'm no more special than the next person. I admire you and you should keep writing.

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