The trials and tribulations of an alopecian

Ok.... so when I first started to accept that I was losing my hair and it was not going to come back, I thought, well at least wearing wigs and scarves will be easier to maintain. Boy was I wrong!!! I thought that I could just slap on any kind of wig and go. There is human hair, synthetic hair, straight, curly, short, long, lace front, mono top, vacuum, priced from $40.00 to $5000.00. Good Lord! At least with my hair I could put it in a ponytail or bun, where it down, straight or curly, it was free and I never had to worry if it looked cheap or like my own. Sorry to vent but I'm having an "Alopecia Day" today. So much pressure trying to find something that isn't real to look real. I really applaud those of you who have decided to rock your baldies!!!! Personally, I don't like the way I look without something on my head. I have a pointy head, LOL, and from wearing the scarves and wigs so much I look two toned. My face is brown with a lace front frame and my scalp is white. Even if I wanted to go bald I would look like a fool. We will talk about eyebrows another day. I hope I amused you all with the visuals, could be worse. I could be dying. Love and peace.
Michelle

Views: 69

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on July 28, 2011 at 9:06pm
Hey Michelle, I hear you. I remember I went to Florida and made the mistake of wearing a scarf low on my forehead for the first day! You guessed it, a tan line right across my forehead. At that point, I knew I couldn't do that for the rest of the week. I also couldn't wear my wig in the ocean... the thoughts of that floating way was more than I could handle. So I had to make the decision. I put the scarf and wig into my suitcase for the rest of the week. I felt a bit safer, because I didn't know anyone there.

But, I know the feeling of frustration. I lost my hair, eyebrow and lashes right before my sister’s wedding and I was the maid-of-honor. I managed to get a wig that I “liked”, but I tried to apply fake lashes the night before. I am not a woman that enjoys experimenting with makeup, nail etc. If it is easy and maintainable then I am in, anything more than that is just not for me. I tried and I tried to apply those lashes, the kept slanting, ungluing and I just couldn’t get them right. I felt my frustration build the more and more I played with them. Eventually I threw the darn things and went to the bathroom to cry.

We all have our alopecia days. So, I just wanted to say that I understand.

Someone once told me that there may be worse, but if I hit my thumb with a hammer I still say "ouch"
Comment by Tallgirl on July 28, 2011 at 9:41pm
I remember standing in front of a mirror for literally an hour, while the husband and kids honked and fretted in the car to go to the state fair. I couldn't find any solution for my head for the wind, heat, match-to-my-outfit, or impending animals and dust. I just cried. Eventually, I think I wore a denim hat over a scarf. That taught me to have more choices on hand for the next emergency outing. I don't think we know how to prepare for life when we are new alopecians!
Comment by Michelle on July 28, 2011 at 10:46pm
Thanks for the comments Cheryl and Tallgirl. At times I feel I'm brave enough to just go out into the front yard without anything on my head and then I always chicken out. I was just invited to a Dodgers game in Sept. with a group of other alopecians. Hopefully the tan line will go away and I'll be brave enough to go bald. If not, I will at least wear a scarf. Hehe.
Comment by Calipso on July 28, 2011 at 11:16pm
We had similar thoughts about wigs. I thought heeey so cool I just have to put it on and I don't even have to brush it much in the morning or anything. I thought it would be easy...
Now the biggest dilemma is about makeup - should I put foundation on my entire scalp to look more even or only on my face portion? Yeah I miss having free hair...:(
Comment by Shelly on July 29, 2011 at 12:32pm
Hi Michelle!

I applaud those who rock their baldies....I'm not ready to do that...yet! But I swore I would NEVER get my eyebrows tattooed on, but I did and it was the BEST decision ever!!!!! I don't know where you live, but if you're in or near Michigan, I highly recommend my person. I even had eyeliner on both upper and lower lids tattooed on....another great decision.

Peace,
Shelly
Comment by Sunshine on July 29, 2011 at 10:34pm
Hi, I know the feeling. I went through all that too. I never could get into wearing scarves not my thing. Anyway if you decide to go out bald use self tanner on your head for about a week or more or less days depending on your complexion after all we come in all shades. That's what worked for me when I went out bald for the first time this summer. Hope it works for you when your ready. Take care of you.
Comment by Michelle on July 30, 2011 at 10:51am
Thanks Sunshine. I'll try that.
Comment by Mary on July 30, 2011 at 5:55pm
I know how you feel, Michelle. For me, it came down to a choice between being physically uncomfortable for the rest of my life (due to how hot I find a wig or even a scarf), or being emotionally/psychologically uncomfortable being seen bald. After about 9 months of misery, trying to cover up, I decided to be physically comfortable. The mental comfort came later and now I really don't care...this is who I am: http://www.alopeciaworld.com/video/twisting-in-balboa-park

I'm very careful to protect my "no tan line" head...3 years ago I worked hard to even up the color by sitting outside with a hat that doesn't have a top. I was able to achieve all-over color pretty quickly. Now if I'm in the sun, I'm either in a sun hat, or bald (if it's for short exposure). I never go out in the sun wearing a cap or scarf.
Comment by lovelyjan on July 30, 2011 at 6:13pm
Hi Michelle, I've only being rocking my bald and beautiful look since May of this year and loving it. I was once where you are today, afraid of what people may say if they saw me bald or what would be their reaction. I must say it was not that easy when you are use to hiding behind the wigs for most of your life,but after that first step it get easier and easier. As the Bible says You make one step and He will make two. I too have the two tone from wearing the wigs ,but the makeup works fine for me. Good luck on your first step. Remember we are beautiful with/without hair.
Comment by MiNAH on July 31, 2011 at 4:04am
Makeup isn't a problem, if you wear bronzer or foundation, just blend it away from the ears and don't go all the way up to where the hair line should be. I've noticed that if I put foundation all the way over my forehead to where the hair line should be ... and if you take a picture, it's not a good look. So ... blend it out, under eyes, lightly over the chin, nose and cheeks. Highlighter and blush. The eyes are your statement, lips and cheeks. If you use way too much foundation, it spoils the look your trying to create. Less is more ... in the right places.....

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