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The cracked mirror!
I have lived with Alopicia all my life I did not loose all my hair till I was 15 and always looked on the positive of the condition;
1. never had to shave/wax my legs
2. naturally smooth arms
3. will never go grey unless I choose to
3. change my hair style when ever I choose
4. not have to worry about loosing my hair anymore
5. don't have to worry about plucking/waxing eyebrows I choose there shape every morning I do my make up
However as positive as I am and as much as I put on a smiling face to the world and get on, still when I am home alone, close all the curtains and I take of the wig, wash off the make up and look in the mirror I can't help thinking who could ever love that ugly person looking back at me?
I know on the inside I am a good person but as good as I am that does not stop me being judged for the fact I have no hair and if I can't love the way I look how can I expect anyone else to?
Believe it or not I am a very upbeat person and really enjoy going out and meeting new people.
These are my down day thoughts which at the moment are becoming more often. Maybe it due to being in the last year of my 20's and still struggling to meet guys due to feeling scared that they are going to run if I tell them so instead i push them away or run as soon as they start asking questions.
My minds mirror is well and truly cracked; one side the girls with nice hair and make up all dressed up smiling full of confidence and the other side a bold egg like face with no beauty to be seen just a deep sadness in the eyes, who cares whats she is wearing she should be locked in a dark room so not to make others feel uncomfortable.
Arrrrgggghhhhh!
The mirror for the whole world is cracked as I am sure we are not lone in feeling isolated and out cast.
The word 'normal' ad-doped by the western world to define people. But does anyone actually know what the definition is??
WHAT IS 'NORMAL'??
1. never had to shave/wax my legs
2. naturally smooth arms
3. will never go grey unless I choose to
3. change my hair style when ever I choose
4. not have to worry about loosing my hair anymore
5. don't have to worry about plucking/waxing eyebrows I choose there shape every morning I do my make up
However as positive as I am and as much as I put on a smiling face to the world and get on, still when I am home alone, close all the curtains and I take of the wig, wash off the make up and look in the mirror I can't help thinking who could ever love that ugly person looking back at me?
I know on the inside I am a good person but as good as I am that does not stop me being judged for the fact I have no hair and if I can't love the way I look how can I expect anyone else to?
Believe it or not I am a very upbeat person and really enjoy going out and meeting new people.
These are my down day thoughts which at the moment are becoming more often. Maybe it due to being in the last year of my 20's and still struggling to meet guys due to feeling scared that they are going to run if I tell them so instead i push them away or run as soon as they start asking questions.
My minds mirror is well and truly cracked; one side the girls with nice hair and make up all dressed up smiling full of confidence and the other side a bold egg like face with no beauty to be seen just a deep sadness in the eyes, who cares whats she is wearing she should be locked in a dark room so not to make others feel uncomfortable.
Arrrrgggghhhhh!
The mirror for the whole world is cracked as I am sure we are not lone in feeling isolated and out cast.
The word 'normal' ad-doped by the western world to define people. But does anyone actually know what the definition is??
WHAT IS 'NORMAL'??
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Comment by Karen Smith on February 20, 2011 at 9:43pm
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Everyone has or will have issues to deal with so I don't think that there is a normal. Life is really what you make of it. My daughter developed AU her senior year in highschool and she had a wonderful boyfriend that stood beside her. When he broke up with her last summer she curled up on the ground and sobbed that no boy would ever love her because she was bald. It crushed me and I cried for weeks. She picked herself up and went off to college in her beautiful wigs and proceeded to date alot of boys and have a great time. Some of these boys know about the alopecia and some don't. Her exboyfriend's bestfriend asked her to go to his fraternity formal and confessed his love for her. She did not return the feelings but it let her know other boys would love her. Anyway she is back with her old boyfriend and happy but she knows if he doesn't treat her well there will be others. Her hair is coming back but she has mixed emotions because her wigs are so pretty. She does not spend much time looking at herself in the mirror until she puts her wig on, this is how she deals with it. Once the wig goes on, she smiles and gets on with life. Use whatever tool you have but don't let alopecia stop you from having a great life and being loved. Guys just want to have a pretty girl on their arm, they don't really focus on how you make that happen.
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Comment by ABsitively on February 20, 2011 at 9:50pm
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(((((HUGS)))))
Lesley, There are men in this world who will love you for you and not run when they find out you have alopecia. I grew up with my condition, did not wear a wig throughout high school and dated a little bit. Maybe not as much as my friends One guy had a crush on me when I worked at the local McD's drive thru. We dated briefly but I was not into him.
When I started wearing a wig in college, yes the hardest part was 'the talk' which I did NOT have with every guy I dated only if I felt things getting serious. I braced myself each time and each time found that things did not go as badly a I had imagined they would. (who knows, maybe they knew the whole time and were just waiting for me to say something). I've been engaged twice and am now married.
I really think that it boils down more to personality and not as much on our appearance as we believe. Our own fears can and do get the better of us. I think we just have to get the better of them sometimes :)
2 additional thoughts.
Not a one of us is normal
It is totally awesome not having to shave our legs!
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on February 20, 2011 at 9:52pm
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Normal....good question. what I can say is that everything you are feeling is normal. And I figure we are all allowed to have our off days. So long as you dont let it consume you.
Please check out my blog..."I am in love" when I finally saw me in the mirror. Its taken me a very long time and I still have my "off" days.
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/i-am-in-love
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