Comment by Tallgirl on October 11, 2011 at 10:59am

Yes. When the 40-year reunion pix hit Facebook, you won't feel alone anymore, and people can't laugh because they look even older than the alopecian with the great wig!

And your kids love Mommy no matter what, so just enjoy THIS time and love those babies!

If you really want to talk to those high school friends online, just don't show pix, keep your medical stuff private, just show your eyes, and be interested in THEIR lives. You may find a friend or two. I didn't go to my 20th, 30th or 40th, but have been talking to many online in the last year...about unemotional stuff. No one really needs to pry into your medical situation...they mostly troll for laughs and compliments, sports scores, bragging rights on kids, etc.

Comment by FANCY1024 on October 11, 2011 at 9:23pm

Hi Brianne, I think you should have gone to the reunion. I have no doubt you missed so much fun with your old friends. If your thinning hair makes you feel so self-conscience and uncomfortable, I would recommend buying a wig. You can get a topper wig that just thickens the top or a full wig. They look so real. My intragrated wig has made such a big difference in my life. I wouldn’t leave the house without it anymore. People I have known for years couldn’t tell I was wearing a wig. Even my hair dresser of 20 some years couldn’t tell. I hadn’t seen her in over a year and she thought I had just changed my hair style and she loved it. I ran into an old friend of mine this morning. It turns out she also has alopecia Areata and she has a huge bald spot. She has been walking around feeling ashamed and very depressed. She knews I also had AA and when she saw me today, she thought my hair had grown back. She was shocked when I told her I was wearing a topper wig. She couldn’t believe how perfect the coloring was and how it totally blended with my real hair. She wants to go out and buy one now. She hasn’t even looked into it as she thought they weren’t real looking. I let her feel my synthetic wig and she thought it felt so real and she was amazed by how great it looked. We are going wig shopping for her soon. We’re both very excited about it. I can’t wait for her to feel the human hair ones. She will be blown away.

I’m also overweight with a waist measurement of 22. When I was in high school, I wasn’t super thin but I wasn’t huge either. So I do know it’s hard to let your friends see you like this but just hold your head high, dress sexy and be confident in yourself. If you see yourself that way, so will others. Overweight women can be beautiful, sexy and confident! I’ve always found a way to make myself feel sexy even when I was overweight and the men have responded to that. I only lost my confidence when I started to lose my hair. So next time, show your friends what a confident fun loving person you are and they will love you no matter how much you weigh and how big your cloths are. Hugs Di

Comment by Brianne on October 12, 2011 at 9:02am

thanks guys. I am having such a hard time. Just the thought of seeing some of those "girls" that you didn't get along with, or that "click" of people whispering "what happend to her" gives me an axiety attack. But then again I should have been an adult and gone to see some people that were really good friends of mine that I havent seen in 10 years. Will I ever get over this?

Comment by AJ on October 12, 2011 at 6:13pm

I can totally relate to avoiding going to places because you're too self-conscious to be seen! But would it be nice to look 16 again??? Hell no! At 16, I felt chubby and awkward, hated my hair (and I even had a full head in those days!!) and was convinced I needed a nose job!
Did I need a nose job? No way. Was I chubby? A little puppy podge perhaps! Should I have hated my hair? (well, now that I have alopecia, 13 years on, of course I'm going to say no!)
The point is, soooo many of us go through insecure phases - but the things we're obsessing about are a big deal to ourselves - not other people! Nobody looks at you and judges you as harshly as you are judging yourself.
So you may have gained some weight. But you have two beautiful children - one of the greatest gifts in the world. And, you have been on steroids. Weight gain can be a common side effect, but that's nothing to be ashamed of and will reverse in time.
As for your hair... well, most of us here know how hard that can be, and sure, it really dents your confidence. I feel right now it's a daily challenge to stop myself feeling too low or self-conscious.
But you can guarantee that everybody around you will have their own issues and insecurities - whether you notice them or not.
You can't wave a magic wand and make your hair and figure perfect again. But you can try to value all the wonderful things about you (and there will be numerous!!!) so tell yourself nice things, not negative things.
When I struggle with personal confidence and body image, I think what would I tell a friend, if it was them telling me they felt this way? I'd tell them they are wonderful and beautiful - and it would be the truth! So why not tell yourself that!
Imagine you'd gone to the party.... there is a 'gorgeous, perfect' looking woman there, but she's not very nice and rather rude and unfriendly and puts people down. There is also an averagely attractive woman, not especially tall or slim and her hair is nothing special. But she had a warm, friendly personality, showed an interest in you, and a lovely, cheery smile.
Which would you prefer, or which would you most want to hang out with??
I know which one I'd choose - and I'd take a bet that you'd choose the same!!!!
The world likes nice happy people. And being nice and happy also make you attractive - so it's a win win situation! x

Comment by Brianne on October 13, 2011 at 11:13am

Thanks AJ. That is a wonderful way of looking at it, and if it was a friend and not me, I probably would say nicer things to them then I say to myself. I never thought about that. I am very blessed to have my family and remined my self of that daily, I think I have a few more bad days then normal because I don't sleep very much. My son is 7 1/2 months and has acid reflux. I haven't had a good nights sleep in over a year and I think it is taking a toll. That, and for a while whe thought my neice had alopecia, it turns out it was a scalp infection, thank god, and her hair is coming back thick as ever. But it openend some doors I had closed. But I really enjoy writing and venting about everything here and haveing people to talk to that are like me. It truely helps so much.

Comment by Deana on October 13, 2011 at 3:59pm

I think if you miss certain people who were your friends you should contact them and make plans to meet them for lunch, dinner, and or drinks. If they are good people and worth being friends with, they will love you for you and you will be surprised how comfortable people can make you feel. They don't really care about your looks and if they do, who needs them! I do hair for a living and had to go through working everyday while my hair fell out in clumps. I thought..."how can I keep showing up to work everyday. I hid it the best I could until I resorted to a full wig which people are shocked about when I tell them. I honestly believe I am the busiest stylist in the salon and most people know about my disorder because I am an open book. They still come see me and I feel like I have so many friends now. They really seem to be caring towards what I am going through. I don't want their sympathy so I keep a very positive attitude about this unusual mess. Most people aren't so shallow ;D

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