Still don't know how to handle work

So I just got a new job a few weeks ago and a probable diagnosis from my doctor (waiting to see my dermatologist) but all the tests so far support her conclusions.

Still this is very new to me and my hair gets worse every day. I will probably not wear a wig around family or friends but I've been fitted for one just in case I feel I need it.

The issue is now how do I tell people/boss at work, do I tell them. I don't want them to jump to conlusions about my health but I also feel that my hair is my business. I don't want them to feel sorry for me or give me easier tasks.. go easy on me so to speak. I work in a very male dominated field which I think can contribute to this "go easy on the girl" mentality. I hope they're "modern" men but unfortunatly you never know.

I can't let go of this issue. It's all I think about these days and I feel rushed by the fact that my hair isn't slowing down.

Views: 226

Comment by Alliegator on July 23, 2012 at 12:27pm

I know what you mean! I used to think a lot about that as well. You don't have to tell anyone until you are ready. I told my boss several months after I started working for him. I had changed my wig (style & color). He asked about if I had it done, and I felt like it was time to tell him. All he said was "I wondered sometimes how it looked so perfect". I don't think anyone feels sorry for me or gives me easier tasks. I think it is the opposite actually. I think my boss (who is a man) is proud of me, and knows that I have courage to deal with it. I honestly think that if you don't make a big deal about it, then they won't make a big deal either. All you have to say is that you have Alopecia, and you might wear a wig. I think it will show them that you are a strong woman.

Comment by Marinetta on July 23, 2012 at 1:43pm

Thanks Alliegator, your answer makes me really happy. I realised today that my hair, even with my camouflage haircut, doesn't work anymore. It was just a matter of time...

It'll be scarfs and hats until I get my wig, everybody's on vacation so its taking extra long :/

Comment by Tallgirl on July 23, 2012 at 1:45pm

I told other teachers, aides and administrators at the teacher in-service before the school years started, in a group, showing by spinning my wig on my head. I let them know I might be needing support if any of the students harrassed me. No problems after that. Could you just call them all into a meeting with human resources personnel back-up, and tell all (so they know human resources is aware, and they can't single you out) to get it out of the way? After all, we all get those harrassment rules in printed form at the start of any job...

Comment by Joanne on July 23, 2012 at 9:31pm
I am going through some of the same concerns. My hair is also covering the large areas but it seems to be only a matter of time. I am a teacher as well and have been open with my closest colleagues about it. When the time comes to wear a wig I think I will let everyone know at a staff meeting so that there is no speculation. I had breast cancer years ago and many people might wonder if it has returned.
Comment by Sunflower25 on July 24, 2012 at 6:45am

I just went with "I'm sick and I'm losing my hair." The doc had me on oral steroids at the time and those did a number on me - caused sudden mood swings. THAT was my problem at work. :-/

Comment by Marinetta on July 24, 2012 at 7:04am

Thanks for giving me an insight in how you guys handled things! Its hard to find others that I can relate to or talk to, my family and friends are supportive and love me no matter what but sometimes you need someone that actually dealt with the same thing. Thanks again.

Comment by eva on July 24, 2012 at 1:29pm

where can i buy pretty scarves for my head? i hate bandanas now but its all i can find and not expensive...

Comment by Sunflower25 on July 24, 2012 at 1:36pm

Have you tried ebay?

Comment by jenx on July 25, 2012 at 11:15am

Dont tell them.
Deal with your stuff privately.
Eventually, 1 day, you can surprise them in a casual conversation....
I strongly believe that in the work field it is to your advantage to look strong and keep out of sight what makes you feel vulnerable.
That is my view on things...yous can be different but whatever you choose, good luck and take care :)

Comment by Alliegator on July 25, 2012 at 5:43pm

Jenx has a good, valid point. Also, it makes you human, which can be good or bad. I brought mine up in a casual conversation, and only because we were discussing my new hair style. Like I said, if you don't make it a big deal, then they won't either.

Eva: You can use the majority of scarves as a head wrap. I wear scarves from Target, and all kinds of stores as head wraps. I've been meaning to take pictures of how I do it to provide a How-To guide. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Just stay away from silk scarves, because they won't stay put on your head.

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