Alopecia World
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People can surprise you, if you let them in
Since I've been more open with my friends about having alopecia, I've been feeling really blessed to have such wonderful friends. They have been so supportive and very caring.
We had a huge night out with a ton of people last Saturday and I was wearing one of my long hair wigs. It was also the first time many people had seen me in long hair instead of my bob. I knew people might ask and that was fine with me. I was just wearing what I felt like wearing.
Sure enough, one of the girls noticed and said "hey you got hair extensions right?? I only noticed because you had short hair and now it's long!" I replied, "No, it's a wig" and was just about to tell her openly about my condition when my friend stepped in and said "Yea, isn't it cool that she's trying new looks all the time?"
That was sooo sweet of her even though, I didn't really need the saving but I still appreciate her thoughts behind it.
So for those of you who have felt ashamed or alone with alopecia, I'll encourage that you try to be more open with your friends. You'll be surprised at how understanding, caring and protective good friends can be. I've learnt so much over the last weeks since I've joined Alopecia World which has helped me tremendously in the acceptance of my condition. I just want to thank all my friends here who have been simply amazing and I've learnt from everyone of you. You've all been very strong, beautiful and inspring people people and I'm so happy to know you all! :)
We had a huge night out with a ton of people last Saturday and I was wearing one of my long hair wigs. It was also the first time many people had seen me in long hair instead of my bob. I knew people might ask and that was fine with me. I was just wearing what I felt like wearing.
Sure enough, one of the girls noticed and said "hey you got hair extensions right?? I only noticed because you had short hair and now it's long!" I replied, "No, it's a wig" and was just about to tell her openly about my condition when my friend stepped in and said "Yea, isn't it cool that she's trying new looks all the time?"
That was sooo sweet of her even though, I didn't really need the saving but I still appreciate her thoughts behind it.
So for those of you who have felt ashamed or alone with alopecia, I'll encourage that you try to be more open with your friends. You'll be surprised at how understanding, caring and protective good friends can be. I've learnt so much over the last weeks since I've joined Alopecia World which has helped me tremendously in the acceptance of my condition. I just want to thank all my friends here who have been simply amazing and I've learnt from everyone of you. You've all been very strong, beautiful and inspring people people and I'm so happy to know you all! :)
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Comment by Natalie on March 25, 2010 at 10:07am
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I totally agree, Clara! I have never once had anyone say anything negative about my alopecia to me. And I think it has to do with the fact that I am very open and nonchalant about the fact that I am bald! Many of my friends have told me that they wish they had wigs, too, so that they could change their look up and not have to wash their hair as often! I also think that people can read your attitude about alopecia and they respond accordingly; for example, if I was mopey and sad about my alopecia, then people would feel sorry for me and see me as "different" somehow. But because I am happy and positive about it, people respond with an equal amount of positive feedback and encouragement!
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Comment by Maria Jeremiason _ Signe's Mom on March 25, 2010 at 5:19pm
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My 5th grade daughter wore her wig for the first time just two weeks ago. She was worried about the questions that would inevitably come up about her new "do. I encouraged her to first, confide in her closest friends....which she did. Secondly, to be honest. For her, that meant the answer to, "did you do something different with your hair?" could simply be, "yes", until she was ready to say more. I was a wreck all day, praying that she had a good day at school. When she came home, she said that some kids asked, "is that a wig?' and, before she could answer, her little posse of informed friends jumped in with, "no...leave Sig alone!". I'm pleased to know that her friends have her back, and when she's ready, she can elaborate on her new hairstyle...or bald head, if she chooses. It's good to surround yourself with people who've got your back, no matter your age.
Maria
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Comment by Mary on March 25, 2010 at 6:17pm
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I played drums and led drumming for a women's event last night. I took off my scarf as soon as I got warm, and briefly explained to everyone why I'm bald - I could see the looks of relief on their faces as soon as they found out I don't have cancer. It wasn't a big deal...it never is.
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Comment by Clara S. on March 25, 2010 at 9:37pm
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Natalie, isn't it wonderful to have such good friends?? :) Yesterday, I was wearing a long wig and this girl who's only known me in SHORT hair, reached out to touch it and said that she loved my hair. LOL and i promptly told her it's a wig but she was like, I think it looks good on you. :) I'm not sure if she heard I had alopecia or not but whatever! haha
@ Aimee - I think there will always be a few people who might be not as understanding or more judgmental and offer unnecessary advice and I'll get annoyed with them too. Thankfully so far, my friends have been really supportive. And if i meet anyone that is not so supportive, than I just stay away!Negative energy is always BAD. Not worth it and like you say best to surround yourself with positive people :)
@Maria Jeremiason - it must be so tough for your girl to be in 5th grade and going to school in a wig so it's so good to hear that she has good friends who has her back!
@ Mary, you're right, I am just still on a slow discovery and also learning every day to be more accepting and that it's really not a big deal. Making small but significant steps personally.
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Comment by Donna DeHoog on March 26, 2010 at 11:04am
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Oh wow Clara, that is amazing! I guess you do find out who you true friends are with this condition and very quicky! I will definitely try your approach to alopecia. In the beginning I was telling alot of people that I was losing my hair. Most of the people I told are nurses. I was shocked and horrified by some of their responses....mostly the "oh it is just hair one". I recently left that job and have had mostly positive experiences since that time. Most people just say wow you have alot of body....I usually just smile and say thank you. I had one nurse that work with the other day say I am "not sure what is going with you but I admire you courage and you still are a pretty girl." I just smiled at her and said thank you as I tried to hole back the tears." You are so right Clara...people can surprise the heck out of you. Never saw that coming!
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Hi Donna, it's really too bad that when you were telling those nurses, they were just telling you it;s just hair..that's not very understand and belittling your feelings towards losing your hair. I guess, i've just been lucky. So far people I've told have mostly said, "well that's cool, you can have fun with different hairstyles". Some might ask for more details and am always willing to explain it to them. But i'm glad that at least you've had positive experiences since. Generally I think it helps that I've been feeling more self assured and I think that's helped me to feel like I'm ok with facing anything.
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