Overwhelming....but coping...barely

Well I guess a little bit of history first. I first found out I had Alopecia when I was in my mid-twenties. I found out by my hairstylist telling me I had a little bald spot at the back of my head. She told me it was Alopecia. At the time, I was stressed out with finals at university. The second time I found some bald spots, I had ended it with my long-time boyfriend of 8 years (had cancalled our wedding three months before it was to occur). I am now in my third bout, and it's worse this time. I have two two-inch sized patches at the back of my head. This time, I'm in the process of separating, job insecurity due to economic times, had to have a cat scan due to arm numbness. So needless to say, the stress level is up there. I thought my AA was due to stress, until I started reading all of your stories on Friday. Well, Friday was spent crying as I realized just how unpredictable AA is. I thought if you had AA, you just had a few spots. If you had AU...whole head. I figured they were different 'types' and that they didn't cross over I guess for lack of a better term. Well it appears that's not how AA works. So Friday was a very very bad day for me. Fortunately, I have a very wonderful man in my life who is very supportive. It was very hard for me reading those stories, because I also have another autoimmune disease. A lot of you talk about feeling less feminine without hair. Well I have a disease that also affects the 'core' of our womanhood I guess. Lichen Sclerosis. I will not go into detail, you can google. :p Anyhow, to deal with these two issues is a double whammy. Of course, they're both affected by stress levels. Fortunately, the one doesn't seem to be a problem right now.

Anyhow, I've been thinking a lot about this over the weekend. I'm trying not to obsess about it, but it's hard not to. I wonder what I will do if it gets worse. I don't know if I'm strong enough to shave my head if it gets to that point. I'd like to think I am, and that I don't care what people think. But deep down, I do. I do think that I'd resort to wigs when going out. But I'm wondering if that will just make me stress more, with wondering if people will know it's a wig. Maybe just coming out 'au naturel' would be less stressful. I do know one thing, by telling my boyfriend finally, it seemed to make it easier to talk to other people. After I did that, I spoke to a couple of my coworkers about it. I mentionned it in passing to another. It felt great just to say it aloud.

Well, I'm rambling now...:) I'm so glad I found this site, you are all very strong and supportive people. And I hope to get to know a bunch of you.

Views: 9

Comment by Mary on March 23, 2009 at 1:01pm
I agree with Thea, Michelle...use this wonderful site instead guying any of the books that are currently out there. As many women here will tell you, the good news is that it gets better. Many of us have come through really dark times with this damn disease and are now doing great. If you haven't seen my video "Living a Bald Life" on YouTube (it's also on AW somewhere), please take a look. I have so much to be thankful for and am going forward with my life...step by step. You're so right - telling people and not keeping it a secret gives you back control and also relieves a lot of anxiety that we suffer with when we try to hide the fact of our hair loss- IMHO, anyway. Good luck and stay in touch with us here.
Mary
Comment by kastababy on March 23, 2009 at 9:04pm
I would agree with Thea and everyone else on here. Your life with AA is what you make it, not what someone else determines for you. Of course, I have to remind myself of that daily as well, because we all have good days and bad days. Mary is also right; we have a wonderful community here in Alopecia World that celebrates your joys and shares your sorrows -- in the short year it's been in existence, the site and the friends I've made here have become a second family to me, and provide more healing that I didn't know I needed as each day passes. So take each day at a time - and stay in touch with us here -- we're all rooting for you!

YoKasta

Comment

You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!

Join Alopecia World

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service