Today I decided to have the big chop. To stop hanging onto the straggly few long hairs I had hanging sadly down my back and proactively face this thing called Alopecia. It was very liberating to see the hair falling and know it was at MY hand and I was in control.
So, feeling fantastic, with a lovely red bandanna covering the balding spot I went off to fetch my kids (7, 5 and 21 months) from school. They each had a friend to play, so in my car, I had 6 kids and my daughter (7) says "Mum - you've cut your hair!" to which I reply "Yep, I have!". She then says to her friend, "I don't know WHY my mum bothered to cut her hair. It's falling out and her fake hair is SO much better!" I nearly crashed into a tree, I laughed so hard! OUTED by my child to her friends. There I was, pussyfooting around, worrying about how my wearing bandannas and getting a wig was impacting the kids and they are MORE than okay with this whole process. When we got home, they all wanted to see the wig, so I showed them and they oohed and aahed and tried it on and wanted to know whose hair it was and didn't the "kind lady who donated it" miss it? They were so worried that she was now bald.
The more I face this Alopecia Monster, the more I am starting to think it's not such a monster in the end. Sure it's taking my hair. But it's giving me a really beautiful view of myself, my life, my blessings. It's giving me the opportunity to reinvent myself and a perfect excuse to be blonde/brunette/shaggy/curly/long/short as and if I please. It's giving me a chance to teach my children BY DOING, not telling, that who we are is important. Our weight, our hair, our teeth - hell, they're just incidental.
Yep - Alopecia is changing from the Monster into the Mirror. It's making me really look at myself long and hard. And I think I kind like what I see.