As I near my one year shaviversary my depression has come back. Normally I let my hair loss just roll off my back. For some reason this month I just can't. I'm mad, scared, pissed off, and generally uneasy this month.

Maybe because my boys birthday's were this month. My youngest turned 2 and my oldest turned 5 and started Kindergarten. I live for my boys and dont really have time for myself, but I have decided that it is time to go forward with having a wig made for me. I'm tired of the questions and I'm tired of the starring. My boys didn't ask for this nor do they need to deal with it either. They understand what is wrong with me and they are very educated about Alopecia, but it does take its toll on them. I ask my oldest if he wants to me wear a hat when I took him to school for meet the teacher and on his first day, he answer was yes. I was totally ok with this but I think some of the parents thought I had the big C.

Oh well this month is almost over and maybe this will pass soon.

Views: 108

Comment by R0BB on August 24, 2011 at 5:10pm
Hi Julia -

I want to commend you on your strong choice of shaving a year ago.

I think its a shame the way others in social circles and just plain public in general treat folks like us that may look a bit different than what theyre used to.

Its god damn shallow , disrespectful and a boatload of other adjectives I will hold back from typing.
Cuz as you know , its more fun to say those kinda words than type them.

I was raised to be respectful to people PERIOD unless they give the right to be otherwise.

I hope you find a balance which makes ya feel better soon ..but please know that I think you proved how strong you can be a year ago ...

Take Care :)

Comment by Rodeli on August 25, 2011 at 12:42am
Hi Julia, I totally can relate--esp. being a mom. My son has no problem with my alopecia, but like your kids, he is hesitant for me to go bald publicly--he worries about people making fun of me and that would be hurtful to him. He is okay with me going with a scarf on or with a well-covering hat if I opt not to wear a wig. Sometimes he actually likes to give me his opinions about my hat, scarf, and wig choices and how I wear them. He will tell me what he likes, doesn't like, or when he thinks I look "hot" or "smokin'" as he puts it. Sometimes he loves rubbing my bald head and will kiss it. He is older than your kids, but he still has some of the same feelings and concerns. Like you, I love being a mom and live for my son. He, like your children, become more important to us than our alopecia. But the feelings you feel are normal. I don't get them as often or as severe since I became a mom, but sometimes I wish I didn't have it more so it would be easier for him while he is just a kid. Robb is right about tolerance and acceptance. My son and I have paid attention to how many bald men are out there and we don't see people staring at them or going up to them and asking why they are bald and if they have cancer; but when a woman is bald, people stare and think they have the right to come up and ask what's wrong with us. If there were more woman sporting their bald in public, it might be more accepted where we wouldn't be starred at or asked if we have cancer. Well, Cheers to a better month next month. When you feel down, let your kids put a smile back on your face!
Comment by Julia S on August 29, 2011 at 11:56am
Yall are amazing, thank you so much for the support. I'm an moving forward with my wig. I went to a shop over the weekend and tried a few on. I'm excited about it and I hope my kids will be also. I love being bald dont get me wrong but soem times people just dont get it.
Comment by Sanfra22 on August 30, 2011 at 2:14am
Dear Julia,

You are not alone. I am sure that everybody on this site would understand the depression and its untimely recurrence. Just when you start to think it's all under control, it rears up again!
Hair is a constant source of anxiety for me, it's just whether I can handle it or not. When I can handle it, I can push it out of my mind. When I cannot handle it, I break down although I try to keep it to a minimum.

Your kids are a blessing, and I think that wearing a hat is a small gesture to keep the first day of school spotlight on your kid rather than people asking if you have cancer or something else. I personally think from your photo you look great.
I say, spoil yourself on a great wig...keep up with your stylish accessories, and return to this site whenever you need a shoulder to lean on. We are here for you.

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