...Now to continue with my previous post, No big deal - hair is just an accessory in life

I took my daughter to the doctor last week and she confirmed that the thinning on the back of her head is too symetrical to be anything other than alopecia. She has a 1.5 inch band of hair missing at the nape of her neck, which looks like it might extend up towards her temple area on both sides of her head - this would be similar to when I had this stage and the dermatologist called it 'ophasis' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophiasis). Her eyelashes continue to be sparse.

All this right in time for the first day of school today. She's aware of the hairloss and doesn't seem to be too concerned (right now anyway). We've had a couple of friends comment on it this past week who didn't know that she has it - come to think of it, I don't know if they even knew me when I had it (well, I still do, but as I've said before, I'm lucky enough to be in some kind of 'remission' right now). The friends were sure that she had shaved the hair on the underside of her ponytail and that it is starting to grow in.

The thinning of her hair brings back fresh memories for me of when my hair was falling out (when it became universalis)...

The 'thinnification' (is that a word?) of my hair,what it felt like physically and emotionally:

*remembering*

Running my hands through my hair like I always do since my last round of hairloss...hmmm, that seems to be an awful lot of hair in the palm of my hand...I better run my fingers through my hair again...hmmm, yep, that's another whole lot of hair in the palm of my hand. This could be bad. No wonder the bathtub is backing up again, I must be washing a lot of hair down the drain every morning. My poor husband will have to clear the drain again (I'm embarrassed). I'm looking in the mirror and I can see my scalp through my hair, boy is my hair getting thin. A week goes by, boy is my hair getting really thin! Another week goes by, etc. About 6 weeks after I first ran my hands through my hair, and our neighbours started asking my husband if I am sick, I finally decide to shave my head. My hair is so thin and I do look sick. I head in the washroom one last time with what's left of the sickly looking hair on my head. Shaver in hand, I start it up - I make sure I run it directly though the centre of my hair so I don't chicken out. Hmmm, what an odd feeling. I keep going...I am bald. I rub my head, it feels so weird, weird, but cool at the same time. I put on my bandana and head out into the livingroom where my husband is. He looks at me, I cry, he says, "what's the matter?" I say, "I just shaved all the hair off of my head." He hugs me and says, "don't cry." I say, "I dont' want you to think I'm ugly." He hugs me even more. He says, "I wouldn't be with you if I ever thought you were ugly." Wow, I can't believe that I can remember it all so vividly right now - 9 years later.

*shakes head, back to reality*

Back to present day...as I sit here my daughter has just sat beside me and I am looking at her. She is so beautiful.

...to be continued