Writing has always been the only comfort to me. I turn to it in times of happiness so it only makes since for me to call upon it in times of sadness. It's been awhile since I have been on Alopecia World. Mostly because when I come to this site I am reminded more of how real my condition is (as if looking in the mirror and seeing it every single day isn't enough) But I find that this site, regardless of how hurt it may make me feel at times, also serves as the only place I feel "accepted". I can compare it to going over to a family member's home whom you're not all that fond of but yet...when your there...you do feel a bit at ease for some reason. That may sound complicated, but it makes since in my head so that's all that matters. My eyebrows have begun to fall out even worse now, and my eyelashes aren't far behind. I've decided not to go to my own high school graduation next Friday because I just can't deal with the embarrassment. I know I'm supposed to be strong, but honestly...I have endured MANY hardships in my short 18 years of life and this by far has to be the worst of them. Yes...I know...i could be dealing with something more life threatening, but in some ways this condition IS life threatening for me. I've had to miss prom, baby showers, numerous hangout sessions with friends, and many other occasions just because i feel too ashamed of what is happening to me. Not to mention, I have a special man in my life whom i am afraid to grow close to out of fear that he won't want me if this condition runs it's course and takes away ALL my hair. I think the worst part about it may be the fact that i don't know ANYONE who has been through or currently dealing with this condition who can comfort me and offer some support. At times i just want to be held, for I feel very alone and isolated. And even though this site was created for people like me, I can't help but to still feel so disconnected. Plus, there are no alopecia support groups here in the DC, Maryland and Virginia area that i know of, so that makes me really feel like i'm the ONLY ONE with these issues. I struggle with staying alive everyday, and i'll be real about it, suicide has crossed my mind quite a few times. But something...something is preventing me from taking those pills and just saying forget it. I'm not sure what's holding me here, maybe it's God, but whatever it is must be content in seeing me suffer like this, which is something I feel like I don't deserve. Anyways...to anyone that is reading this, if you ever want to converse, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org, i know it would make me feel better to form a bond with someone who knows how it feels to..."shed".