Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on April 18, 2011 at 5:37pm

Thanks Valerie. I think its cause I'm older and am used to being in my own skin. Life has taught me that there are few things you have control over and the most important thing is to be yourself. If people don't get this, they're not worth it. I was nervous as my son had not seen me bald until this past weekend when I went to NYC. He'd seen photos only. He walked in to my sister's place, grabbed me by both sides of my head and kissed me on top of it. He then said "Ma, you look great". That was that. I raised him well.

I honestly find it amusing how people are so hung up on looks, on so many different levels. Not something I consciously thought of, but I will guess its always there. Weird. It is what it is.

Comment by Devin on April 18, 2011 at 6:17pm

Wow talk about well adjusted you should find a way to bottle that and then you could sell it on AW, Id buy some. It sounds like your boy has drunk a few bottles as well. I think a lot of people have more problems because we get over sensitive about it and let things bother us that shouldn’t. Well congratulations to you and your success!

Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on April 18, 2011 at 6:43pm

Thank you Devin. Those were kind words. I suppose I've dealt with a lot in my past to the extent that it has allowed me to handle my alopecia like I do. I've been through worse, if you can believe it. Thank you just the same. I too wish I could bottle my "way" and spread it to everyone here. It breaks my heart when I read about people self-loathing or hiding away cause someone laughed at them or looked at them weird. There is so much life to live out there despite all the troubles brought on by our Alopecia. ❤

Comment by Galena on April 18, 2011 at 8:08pm

You deserve the praise Eulalia! We come here to share stories and support one another and self-acceptance is a major achievement. I haven't had the I-thought-you-were-a-man moment yet, but I've always admired the androgynous look in women.

Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on April 18, 2011 at 8:35pm

Galena, there was no way that waitress could have mistaken me for a man; she was only looking at my head. I had a nice shade of brown lipstick on and big gold earrings. Androgynous or not, the point is, people shouldn't jump the gun, but they often do.

Comment by kastababy on April 18, 2011 at 8:48pm

A very dear friend of mine got married in Memphis yesterday, and she toasted all of the guests that came to the wedding. She told everyone in the room "When I first met YoKasta she had on this beautiful red scarf that covered her head and she looked like such a badass I was afraid to walk up to her. Now I see her walking around with a bare head for all to see and she is the embodiment of a strong, independent woman -- and if I had a tenth of the confidence she has in spite of having alopecia and could rock a bald head the way she does, I still couldn't touch her. It's a privilege to know her." She brought tears to my eyes because I never knew she thought that highly of me, and it was HER wedding day! The moral of the story is we never know whose lives we may touch or how deeply we may touch them; all we can do is be ourselves - whether we look androgynous or not!

I'm often mistaken for a boy when I dress down, so I totally feel you Lili - and it can be annoying sometimes when we are mistaken for men even when we do dress up -- so I say get the jokes ready for when someone inevitably slips up, because that's cheap entertainment that you just can't get anywhere else!

Comment by Angie P on April 20, 2011 at 12:48am

OMG, get outta my head! I responded to your PM BEFORE reading this thread. **cue Twilight Zone music**

I haven't had my "gentleman" moment yet. Hope it doesn't happen during the work day, though, I just might snap. Any other time I think I'll probably just break out in a fit of giggles. ;)

Comment by Norm on April 20, 2011 at 12:30pm

I've been mistaken for a man once or twice.... didn't upset me either :)

Good on ya, Lili, for handling it the way you did - isn't it fun when you can throw peeps a curve without even trying? If I ever see you on the bus, we can try and out-stare each other... probably freak the other passengers totally ;)

Comment by David B327 on April 22, 2011 at 4:50am

LOL You are so wicked!

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