So over the past year I've had a lot and ups and downs with my AA. To start I guess I should tell you I've had AA since i was 10, and 15 years later here I am! All through out middle school and high school I just had a really weird hairline in the front while the rest of my head was covered in thick brown hair. Towards the end of high school my eyebrows fell out and my hairline had receded 2+ inches from where is normally is. Over the past 9 yrs I have done topical injections, systemic injections, all the diff. steriod creams, rogain, and latisse (lumigan, cheaper and I don't have insurance).
For a while I was doing really well... But once I realized the toll systemic steroids could do on my body I decided to stop. Turns out the steroid made me gain 30lbs, which I have now lost and now topical injections aren't keeping up with the amount of hair loss I'm having.
I'm starting to lose my hope, I feel like I should be happy I had hair and as much as I did for as long as I did . but more then ever before is falling out.
I'm starting to lose my happiness, Every time I see hair in my hand I think I'm slowly becoming a bald monster.
I'm starting to lose my personality, I love hanging out with all my friends, but I can't let go and be myself because I sit daydreaming of what I would do with their hair if I had it.
I'm starting to lose my Comfort, My head never stops itching.
I'm starting to lose my feeling of femininity, I don't have all my eyelashes to bat, I can't do anything with my hair except wear it straight.
I'm starting to lose my mind, I'm never focused during the day peoples hair distracts me, I'm always trying to bargain with God " you give me hair I'll do anything".
I guess you could say I'm losing my everything.
I wonder if shaving my head would force me to face all my fears and insecurities? Till I decide I guess I just have to bank on all the sayings to come true:
God never gives you more then you can handle.
When one window closes another opens.
What is meant to be will be.