I'm taking control of my alopecia- it's not controlling me! Head shaved

I was having a routine hair cut in July 2013, when my hairdresser noticed a bald spot the size of a pea. I was upset but tried to put it out of my mind. Within weeks it had grown to the size of 10p then an egg size, soon bald patches were sprouting all over my crown and merging together!

Gutted is an understatement on how I felt. (Im 35years old.) But I was able to hide them by tying my hair up in a pony tail for about 4 months. In that time I never really noticed my hair falling out and hiding the bald spots became normal.

Doctors were useless as they prescribed steroid in liquid form that I applied twice daily - didn't work.

I spent money on vitamins, and a product called Plantur by Dr Wolff for meagre hair loss - didn't work.

I paid for the Aveda revitalising shampoo/conditioner/revitaliser spray - didn't work.

In short I don't believe anything works.

I decided to purchase a wig 4 months after the balding started and believe me it was the best thing I could have spent money on - Fact!

Shortly after getting the wig I then suffered even more hair loss that was noticeable when combing/washing and just running my fingers through my hair. That was a depressing fortnight where I pretty much cried daily, as until then I had tried to put a brave face on it.

It wasn't long after that I decided that there was no point holding onto half a head of hair that was shoulder length, so I had it shaved off. I cried for my 4 kids more than me, as who wants a bald Mum (I know that's silly, But its how I felt)

I wasn't going to let the alopecia control me, I was taking control of it if that makes sense?

Since then I have felt more relaxed as Im not having to deal with the hair loss anymore, and now I cant tell how much hair I am losing, in fact I don't think it has got any worse. Ive even grown a peachy fuzz on the top, which is as soft as baby hair. My bald head looks like a patchy mess and there are days I feel so tearful.

I know its a long road, but Im loving my wig its always a perfect blow dry lol,  and its not half as annoying as I thought it would be. Obviously I would rather have my own hair but accepting it may never grow has relaxed me, so if it does come back, well it will be a bonus.

I think another thing that has helped me, is trying to put this into perspective, its only hair after all its not life threatening Im healthy. Things could be worse.

The thing I find hardest is trying to work out why this has happened to me, what has caused it and and  the fact there is no cure!! and the unknown of if it will ever re grow... Mine was very likely stress related :(

Im under no illusion after reading so much that this may not be the only episode of alopetia I may suffer in this lifetime, but Im trying to weather the storm the best way I can.

One of the things I am so sad about is that my youngest daughter has never seen my real hair, I really hope it grows back just so she believes I really did have hair!

I want to be able to take her swimming and go to the beach, these things are not wig friendly and Im not confident to go bald in public yet. Maybe that will change.

Lastly I just want to say Im so grateful for this site and to just know that I am not the only one.

Views: 272

Comment by Luisa Maria on January 13, 2014 at 11:16am
Your post was very moving and somewhat familiar. Possibly for taking your daughter swimming you could try a swimming cap? That way you can swim and not have the worry about it. x
Comment by Luisa Maria on January 13, 2014 at 11:18am
Forgot to add, congrats on the head shave! Wish I had had the guts!
Comment by Emma on January 13, 2014 at 1:41pm
Hi Luisa,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
Have you tried any treatments? What's your story?
Comment by Emma on January 13, 2014 at 1:41pm
Thanks for the idea on a swimming cap x
Comment by Leisa on January 13, 2014 at 2:20pm

Very good post. :)  I like the way you look at things. I am in the 'grasping/denial' stage :D  The one where I tell myself that it will grow back faster than it will fall out and I will be able to continue to hide it! 

Comment by laura on January 14, 2014 at 12:22am

Thanks for share with us! Did you tr bio hair treatment its very effective on hair loss 

Comment by Emma on January 14, 2014 at 1:46am
Hi leisa,
Your just in a denial at first aren't you but quicker you accept it and get rid of the hair the better you can feel about it. It's only doing it that shows you though, as beforehand it feels the scariest thing you could attempt.
Comment by Emma on January 14, 2014 at 1:49am
No Laura I havent tried bio treatment along with loads of other suggestions as I can't keep throwing money at stuff that may not work. I will look into it. But...
I've reasoned with myself that before the alopecia I didn't need to take/do anything to make my hair grow, it should grow by itself naturally. I don't want to keep pinning my hopes on a product only to be disappointed.
I may give it a try though thank you :)
Comment by Vicki on January 14, 2014 at 6:46am
Hi Emma, I applaud you. I'm in complete agreement with you. I shaved what was left of my hair off in mid-December and although it is different to say the least when I look in the mirror, I'm getting used to it. I decided to go bald for the ease of it. I'm a runner and didn't want a wig to tie me down. I too wonder about all the treatments and if they're worth trying, but I feel with alopecia it's a bit a crap shoot. I hope you will gain the confidence in yourself to she'd your wig and swim with your daughter, or you could sport a nice bathing cap. In the end, it's all a personal decision. I really enjoyed reading your post because I think it helps a lot of people out there that wonder if they should hang on to those little bits, or just shave it off.
Comment by Leisa on January 14, 2014 at 8:39am

I agree with the not wanting to throw money at things that may not work. I am having that issue at the moment.  I have a $3,000 insurance deductible before ANYTHING gets paid.  I have to pay that out of pocket first :(  ugggg.. So, I hate the thought of the steroid treatments and derm visits and anything else they may say... :\


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