This past weekend, I attended the NAAF Conference in Washington, DC. It was my first conference as an ‘adult.’ I have been to about 10 other conferences since 1994, but I was always in the kids’ camp. I loved every minute of that camp: I met a ton of people and was able to hang out with all of the friends I have made over the years. This year was different, though. I was able to go to meetings and talk about how having alopecia affects me. That was a rude awakening in itself. It was so nice to be reminded that “I’m not the only one.” Everyone has their own struggles that they are dealing with. It was amazing to listen to everyone’s stories and share some of my own. Many people had great advice to share, and I appreciated everyone’s input.

Although that was all fabulous, I heard the most impactful statement as I was getting ready to get in my car and go home. I was standing in front of the hotel with my luggage, waiting for the valet to bring my car around. I was caught up in trying to make sure I repacked everything and worrying about all of the traffic I was probably going to be sitting in for the next few hours. (If anyone is unfamiliar, the traffic on I-95 on a Sunday can be brutal!!!) Then an adorable little bald girl, probably about 4 or 5 years old, walked past me with her parents. I didn’t pay too much attention to them since I was so preoccupied. Right as they walked past me, I heard her say, “I’m gonna miss this place.” My heart sank. All of a sudden, I found myself standing in front of this hotel with my hands full crying uncontrollably. I still am not sure why. A part of me was thinking that she must have had an awesome weekend at the camp and didn’t want to go home, like many children who were at a camp with their friends. On the other hand, I was so upset. Although I’m sure she was not feeling like this, I thought that it is so sad that she is leaving a place where everyone else looked like her to go back home, where she is probably the only girl without hair. It broke my heart into a million pieces.

I can honestly say that I felt the exact same way. I’m going to miss that place, too! It’s amazing there! I can walk around without a wig (which I normally do anyway) and not have people stare at me because I am different. They know that I have alopecia and that’s it. I don’t have to deal with people assuming that I’m sick, and I don’t have to explain my situation to everyone I meet.
I guess the point of this story is that it’s so amazing how I tried to talk to people my own age all weekend to get some empathy, when all I had to do was listen to her five simple words. “I’m gonna miss this place.” It’s amazing how kids can sometimes say exactly what you’re feeling.

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Comment by Storm_Uchiha on July 28, 2012 at 8:20pm

I wish I could go to some of these things...But I feel too embarrassed...Not cause of my lack of hair but because of how my skin looks...I deal with a lot of break outs and it makes me feel on the spot all the time....I do want to go though...Sometimes I just...Feel so alone even though I can come on here...There's not many kids on...Feels like it's easy to get left out here.

Comment by Alex on July 31, 2012 at 10:25pm

Cheryl, I couldn't agree more. It's not a physical place, but an emotional state while there. I was so touched by how many people felt comfortable enough there to "take the first steps," so to speak, as in taking off wigs/scarves. I'm so happy that I have been fortunate enough to attend these conferences. They are truly a great place for everyone affected by AA.

Storm, there's nothing to be embarassed about! You are definitely not alone! Everyone struggles with their own personal issues. Sometimes all it takes is just talking about them with someone, even if it's someone you do not know.

Comment by Dana on August 1, 2012 at 3:11pm

I wish I could go to one of these conferences. I didnt even know they existed. The only things anyone ever speaks to me about is how to FIX the patches and cover them up. I get the wigs, they kill my head because I also have Occipital Neuralgia (nerve type headaches) and cant take the pressure on my head. My self esteem is at an all time low, I find nothing in life funny or fun anymore. I would just like to fade into the woodwork and never return. My Hairdresser (of past) thinks I should try rogaine, others I speak with say they think it's coming back. My poor husband just never says anything (we were married 1 month before it really started coming out) I feel like 1/2 the woman I was before it happened. I still cry alot, most do not know this, the ones that do dont understand why, including myself. @ Corrine you are so brave, I couldnt go out in public bald and it is so hot here! I have a horrible heat rash on my head from ball caps and wigs, but I refuse to go bald in public. If I so much as wear a cap supporting breast cancer everyone asks me if I am a survivor. I do not have a problem with this except that I feel as though I am misrepresenting myself as a cancer patient and that is just simply not true, some I feel think I am just lying to them because of the way I look. Life with this has completely changed me and I do not know how to turn it around. Could anyone give any info on the conference info for the next one?? Thanks

Comment by Alex on August 1, 2012 at 6:20pm

The conference next year is in St. Louis, MO. The NAAF website will be posting more info about it as it gets closer. (naaf.org)

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