I just was want to feel beautiful again

I've been living with this for over a year now and I'm dealing with it better than I used to..i still hate it when people stare at me and give me weird looks or they say ignorant things to me. I work in retail and it hurts when people go out of their way to avoid me..i still have not gotten married because of my baldness...I try so hard to be more confident but when I'm at home I just break down and cry because I don't feel beautiful or pretty...i have talked to counselors and friends and family but they don't understand...I've researched wigs for some time now but have given up because I will never have the money for one. I just was want to feel beautiful again..

Views: 231

Comment by Rose Marie' on November 3, 2014 at 3:43pm

Aimee is right the first year is a roller coaster of emotions.  I believe everybody here understands that this is very difficult.

Don't loose your way.  You can get through this.  Maybe just little steps maybe a beginning.  Find out the things that you love to do that actually make you smile and give you some joy.  Do them.  Then move on to the things that are particularly causing you upset.  Be proactive around your needs.  I understand that many wigs may seem totally out of your reach (and I hate that for everyone), but I do believe there are some options that are less expensive and may just give you a lift around your look.  Aimee is someone to talk to about this as she presents herself with confidence and care.

I have very strong views on my particular wig of choice....and even with an expensive option...sometimes insurers will pay for part of it.  You need to start investigating and be proactive around your needs.  Ask for help from family and friends explaining the things you need.  You are right, they probably don't understand how miserable this is making you.  Try and work out a way to make them understand your needs....talk talk talk. 

I so hope you start to feel better and more yourself soon.

Rosy

Comment by Tallgirl on November 3, 2014 at 10:46pm

Paula Young wig catalog and e-wigs.com have affordable wigs. Online YouTube tutorials show how to apply make-up and wear clothing for your age. www.naaf.org has links to support groups and phone support. Different professions have more understanding employees and clients. Book, church, garden, hiking and discussion groups let the Inside You shine.

Comment by Grace on November 4, 2014 at 3:55am

Hi Leah. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. It made me sad to read that you haven't gotten married because of your baldness. Are you still engaged? How does your fiance feel? If I were you, I wouldn't give up on the wigs - keep searching. Take the suggestions of others here and google everything about wigs. Start with something you can afford while saving money for others down the road. 

One thing my hair loss is teaching me: I am more than hair. I am more than a face, boobs, etc. This effing experience is sooo frustrating but it's challenging me to examine myself, to figure out what else I have to offer my friends and family, and the world. I hope it's doing the same for you. 

One final note. Not sure this will be helpful or not, but want to share. I was having a terrible day yesterday. Over the weekend I spent some time with a wig/topper sales person (known to this site btw) and I left totally discouraged. I left the meeting feeling as though I was dealing with someone pretty unscrupulous and it was yet another letdown in this journey. But I continue on with my research and I know the right answers will come. But last night, as I was crying and feeling pretty crappy, I logged into Yahoo and saw the story on Brittany Maynard - the young woman in Oregon who ended her life to be released from the pain and suffering of her brain cancer. As I read it, I cried harder - not for myself, but for her. I was so thankful to be here. And in that moment, I didn't care if I had great hair or no hair. I was just so thankful to be sitting on the couch with my dog by my side. Of course that moment of perspective passed, and this morning I felt frustrated again, but not for long. Last night I had saved Brittany's photograph as wallpaper on my phone, so as soon as I looked at it, I saw her beautiful face and again I was reminded of the thought: I'm here. Thank god I'm here.

I don't mean this in any way to say you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling. I just wanted to share my experience. Thinking about you... 

Comment by Vasilisa on November 5, 2014 at 2:35pm

Dear Leah!


We all had this very very bad time! I was pretty untill I got my alopecia! And then I stout for 15 kg! I became ugly! I hated myself for a long time. My depression was big enough to give up... give up to live, you know?
I mean we all get those terrible moments!
But then I just look aroun and understand that the sun is still shining and I can allways do some exercise, have a diet and just do what I like to do! And you know what? My life became batter for sure!
So all you have to do right now is keep holding on, get a hope of the full treatment and do not let alopecia destroy your life!
You CAN be beautiful and you can feel beautiful. Just try to do it!

Comment by Leah on November 8, 2014 at 8:11am
Thank you all for the advice...i know I'm more than just hair etc
..most days I'm okay.. I am grateful to be alive and here and healthy to a point. I actually found a wig that I fell in love with...it is everything in looking for and its under $150.00 I just have to save up for it because money is really tight right now and I don't make that much money with my job and my fiancee pays all our bills.. I just wish I could afford to buy it right away lol. I pray for patience and thank my Lord and savior for everything he has give me...i pray for strength to face the negativity from people...its a work in progress...i have stopped any kind of treatment because I lost my health insurance so things have to happen in due time...again thank you all for your amazing and wonderful support! God bless you all!

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