I just read Sue Helaine's blog post, "To Biopsy or not" and was so inspired. Thought I would share my own story because through sharing and story we heal.

I didn't even know there was a biopsy. So, that's how my tale begins!

Confusion:
I started noticing serious changes in my hair 3 years ago. I remember getting out of my friend's hot tub, the hair on the nape of my neck was wet from the bubbles. I went in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and had my first serious moment of realization. My hair was so thin and fine I started crying and wondering, "What the F is wrong with me?"

Hope:
Fast forward a few months and I am going through hypnotherapy. Not for hair loss but the issue comes up in those moments of deep subconscious association. My hypnotherapist had a similar history of having subpar hair and referred me to her hair stylist who specializes in "creating" hair using very small extensions. Cooooool.....

Happiness:
I now have extensions and beside getting over the new insecurity of whether people know (or whether they care) about my extensions, I am finally feeling whole. Life is good.

Breakage:
Last February my hairdresser was changing out my extensions and asked, "Soooo, what's been going on with you?" I was missing big splotches of hair all over my head. And NOT from the extensions. (They are bonded to themselves, not my hair. The pattern was in strange holes...Oh, you all know the story!) Simultaneously I was having irregular heart palpitations, EXTREME lethargy and running very low body temperature (hovering around 95). I started with blood tests and stress tests. NORMAL. Thyroid tests. NORMAL. I went for hormone testing. NORMAL. WTF? After visiting normal doctors and voodoo doctors (whom I LOVE) I cranked up my vitamins and exercise. It seemed to get better.

Denial:
Every time I got my extensions changed my hair was looking worse. I just knew something was wrong but, in all honestly, I was in total denial. And as long as those braids were put back in I really didn't have to look at the reality of my condition. Life went on for another year like this.

Reality:
Last summer I started experiencing strange things. Facial numbness, slurred speech and loss of sensation in my hand that was pointing to MS or Lupus. Life got serious. The MRI came back to show perfectly NORMAL functioning health. I was grateful but frustrated. Everything in me said, "something isn't right" but no one could tell me anything.

FEAR:
Finally one day at my derm's I mentioned my hair loss. He had never noticed because of my fabulous extensions. When we began putting the pieces together he told me he could do a biopsy that would let us know if I had alopecia. It was the scariest moment of my life. When I realized that this test would tell me if I might end up like my mother, who has AT, I froze. My derm said with compassion and confidence, "You want to know." I trust him deeply so I just said, "Yeah, I do." I hadn't realized how deeply I had been oppressing reality.

So, I did the test within 3 minutes of finding out there was a test to be done. It didn't hurt. And I didn't think about it. I was so used to everything coming back NORMAL. Well, this test had answers. AA. I can't tell you how relieved I was to finally have 'something.' Did it suck? YEAH! But it wasn't life/death. It wasn't debilitating of my mind or my body. It was...just hair.

I'm glad I did the test. I'm lucky that my AA is coming on slow and diffused. It has given me more time to prepare for what's next. God bless all the folks that wake up one day and find life has changed. Strong souls you are! Warriors souls!

Since then I've had many more connections that might lead to overall better health. I'm checking out the Gluten Free life...going to a new Voodoo doctor to help with a holistic approach to rebuilding my internal health and supporting my immune system that has decided to be a silly little renegade of sorts. Mostly, I am thankful each day to have a great community, inspiring stories, and beautiful people in my life that see beyond skin deep.