Baby steps

Spent a good part of yesterday telling a few trusted friends and family members what’s going on with my hair and what I’m planning to do. I already knew I’d be able to rally up a nice circle of support. The challenge now is just doing the deed. This is when the fear and apprehension comes in. One of my friends offered to do it for me. Not sure if I want her to do so, just be there for support, or just do it alone.

I also spent a good part of the evening reading about others’ journeys. There are some very courageous, beautiful, and inspirational on this site.

So many thoughts run through my mind. Just do it! However, I’m speaking tomorrow. Do I want to make my bald debut when I really want people paying attention to my message, not my head? Then, I have a wedding to attend in a couple weeks. Do I want to show up at a wedding bald? Get a wig! No, I don’t want to wear a wig! I’ll do it after the wedding. I’m going on a retreat the following weekend. I’ll do it right before the retreat. I can do it during the retreat. Darn! My nieces are graduating in June. I’ll do it after graduation. No, I’ll do it now and just wear a wig on special occasions. What about work? Even though I work from home, I do have to go into the office from time to time. Get a wig! No, I don’t want to wear a wig! I’ll just wear a wig on special occasions. Ugh!

Tonight I’m buying a pair of clippers, shave cream, and some type of moisturizer for my scalp. I’m going to take a few pictures and see where this all takes me. Even if I do not shave my head this weekend, I’m going to take these baby steps. This is my journey and I can walk at my own pace.

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Comment by thinlizzyfairy on March 30, 2012 at 6:16pm

hey sks :) i know where you're coming from, it took me a little while to finally grab the bull by the horns and do it and even when i did get the clippers out, i only really intended to give myself a mohawk but it was just so fun i couldnt stop - felt like a maniac giggling at my reflection and the fact i was SHAVING MY HEAD! i dont think there's ever really a 'good' time to do it - for me personally, it was the best decision i could've made, havent looked back since and i think if my hair ever does grow back, im gonna keep shaving it! it has freed me of feeling like a victim and to not have to watch it fall out feels like this isnt something dreaful happening to me, it's something i have a little bit of a say in and just something that makes us all a bit more unique than the average joe :) plus, if you wanna wear wigs they fit easier! sarah x

Comment by sks on March 30, 2012 at 7:17pm

Thanks for commenting, @thinlizzyfairy! I'm sure you're right. I have everything set up waiting for me. I'm sure I'll just walk into the bathroom and just start snipping. Peace!

Comment by kathie on March 30, 2012 at 9:35pm

I just went through the same thing at the end of January. I ended up shaving it off by myself although my husband offered to help. I felt much better after. Thinlizzyfairy, your right about feeling like a victim. It made me feel more confident when I got rid of the bit I had left. I bought a very expensive wig that I have only worn three times (still glad to have it). I wear head wraps and big earrings now. I have been buying fabric and making my own custom head wraps (no sewing needed) to go with different outfits.

Comment by thinlizzyfairy on March 31, 2012 at 4:22am

thats a damn good idea! i have a friend with alopecia universalis and she buys off-cuts of silk or off-cuts that arent needed for a really cheap price and always looks really lovely! x

Comment by thinlizzyfairy on March 31, 2012 at 4:23am

hope it goes well for you sks :) x

Comment by Storm_Uchiha on March 31, 2012 at 6:43am

I think you should do it when your ready. It's not an easy choice but whenever you decide to do it...Rock it! Being bald can be such a fashion statement. I love wearing temporary tattoo's of roses, and gothic symbols since my head's practically a canvass, or wearing headbands with long stretches of fabric hanging from it or awesome detective looking hats. The sky's the limit!

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