Attachment to Suffering. Why did I have to be the one to lose my hair?

“To be free from suffering, free yourself from attachments.”


They say being attached can lead to suffering, but we can also be attached to our suffering.


Every person living now is going through some kind of suffering……


There is death, sickness, poverty, injustice, cruelty, judgements, projections, failures, and insecurities.


Sometimes it is easy to forget that other people are suffering through the same things but with different life experiences.


Even the beautiful, multi-talented Beyonce has to go through a lover’s betrayal (before you begin to hate, watch lemonade on youtube :P)


“There is no other way around suffering than through it.”


In the book of Job from the bible, Job is a good man. He follows the law and worships God. But despite all his good deeds, he loses his wife, children, job, home, social status, and everything.


(simplified Ginger version) He asks, “God, why has this happened to me? Haven’t I done everything I was supposed to do? Why do I deserve this?”


God goes on to ask Job where he was when God made the earth/the/heavens whatever. Basically, who are you, human?


When suffering occurs to us, we ask,


“Who am I to lose my hair, the love of my life, my child……


Who am I to go through disease and watch my body die


Who am I to suffer?”—–


But who are you, to think, that what happens to you has anything to do with you? Especially, when many things were likely out of your control.


What do you think your suffering really means in the grand scheme of things? Your suffering is really only important to you and those close to you. Your suffering doesn’t exist in the eyes of strangers. And in a few generations, your suffering will be gone like “dust in the wind.”


How many things can’t you control—–including the things already done in the past that can’t be taken back?


The only thing you get to control is what you do right now, in this very moment. How you feel/the thoughts you breathe life into.


Have any of you ever had that friend—or more likely, this was you at some point—–  who couldn’t seem to get over some hump in their life?


Maybe they just went through a breakup/received a medical diagnosis/lost someone/recovered from a drug binge that almost killed them, etc, and now they bring it up in every conversation?


And, it is absolutely necessary to mourn, grieve, and go through the steps to acceptance to get any kind of loss, and I am not suggesting that anyone deny themselves the need to grieve. But, what I am saying, is that eventually when life goes on, and when the next chapter is ready to be opened… you have to decide if you are going to let your suffering define you.


Life is filled with many experiences: some of them boringly pleasant, compellingly miserable, beautiful, insightful, filled with love, and filled with pain.


We all have so many. You can only choose which ones you want to define you, but all of our experiences make us who we are.


I do not just want to be Ginger the girl with alopecia areata, just like anyone doesn’t want to be simply the girl/boy who suffered through some event.


I, actually, now firmly believe that when I lost hair, the universe said to me, “Ginger, you’re such a control freak, so maybe you need to start learning to be okay with not controlling.” But, this is my interpretation because there’s so many ways to interpret any event. It’s all in the one you choose.


I want to be Ginger the yogi, the fire dancer, and writer.


What do you want to be?


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