Alopecia World
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AA & relationships
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum. I've been suffering from AA since early teenage years. It wasn't obvious to the rest of the world until about 3 years ago when it became more difficult to hide it due to lots of thinning on top on my head (hair at the back & sides is fine). Eventually I've started wearing a small integrated hair piece to hide the thinning on top of my head and give fullness to rest of hair. It's been ok so far and when styled properly it looks really great (got lots of attention when I went out last night , which was a much needed ego boost! :op) even though I'll be asking for a couple of adjustments when I go back in for a readjusment in 6 weeks time.
Nevertheless, sthg is making me a bit nervous...
Has anyone who has been wearing a similar system got bad reactions from men finding out when dating? The system is small but when I put my hand in my hair I can feel the micro-beads that attach it to my bio hair at the sides of my head and I can also feel the mesh material (although fine)to which the "wig hair" is attached ...
My last relationship ended a year and a half ago before I had the system installed (8 months ago) and I'm getting concerned on how this might affect my personal life.
I know that wearing nothing at all and showing the world my real thinning hair would probably put off men even more but even though the system has restored my confidence on a day to day basis, I can't help but feel like I'm a fake and that, shall I meet s.o I like, I might be misleading them from the start on what I really look like at least..which is making me uncomfortable..Not too sure how I shd handle it..?
Thanks for your help & advices ont his..
I'm new to this forum. I've been suffering from AA since early teenage years. It wasn't obvious to the rest of the world until about 3 years ago when it became more difficult to hide it due to lots of thinning on top on my head (hair at the back & sides is fine). Eventually I've started wearing a small integrated hair piece to hide the thinning on top of my head and give fullness to rest of hair. It's been ok so far and when styled properly it looks really great (got lots of attention when I went out last night , which was a much needed ego boost! :op) even though I'll be asking for a couple of adjustments when I go back in for a readjusment in 6 weeks time.
Nevertheless, sthg is making me a bit nervous...
Has anyone who has been wearing a similar system got bad reactions from men finding out when dating? The system is small but when I put my hand in my hair I can feel the micro-beads that attach it to my bio hair at the sides of my head and I can also feel the mesh material (although fine)to which the "wig hair" is attached ...
My last relationship ended a year and a half ago before I had the system installed (8 months ago) and I'm getting concerned on how this might affect my personal life.
I know that wearing nothing at all and showing the world my real thinning hair would probably put off men even more but even though the system has restored my confidence on a day to day basis, I can't help but feel like I'm a fake and that, shall I meet s.o I like, I might be misleading them from the start on what I really look like at least..which is making me uncomfortable..Not too sure how I shd handle it..?
Thanks for your help & advices ont his..
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Comment by Kat on September 1, 2009 at 7:03am
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Hi,
I understand how you feel, it's a hard one! And very personal for everyone.
It's totally up to you when you tell them. You are NOT a fake, and you are not misleading them from the start.
In my opinion, I need to be able to trust someone to share my private business with them, and I don't feel comfortable telling strangers, so I don't. This isn't right or wrong, but is right for me.
All that matter is that you feel confident. It's hard enough to deal with Alopecia without feeling pressured to tell everyone. I keep it just to close people who I know care about me. I'm dating someone at the moment and he doesn't know but if I think it will turn long term I will deal with it then. It's gonna be a hard conversation!
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Hi all,
I would like to thank you for all your advices on this. This is so appreciated. Thank you. I just don’t know yet how to feel about dating again..I had lunch with a male and female friend yesterday and my female friend (who's aware of me wearing a system) noticed it was showing a little and discretely told me. I trust her and it was nice of her to make me aware but it made me feel suddenly very self-conscious and then my male friend, when he saw me looking in the mirror joked, "Are you re-adjusting your wig?" . I never told him about it so I wasn’t sure if he was joking or if he knew about it..I didn’t ask him but now I am totally paranoid about it..and about people's reaction towards me because of this..Ah well, I guess I will have to do some work on myself b4 I can move on with my life.. Thanks for your support. I am happy to have found this community even though I don’t surf the net too often. This makes me feel a little less lonely in my predicament.
Take care
Carole
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