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A rose by any other name....
This posting was inspired by Annette (aka Crowned Regal)'s most recent blog post about name calling. This particular posting strikes a nerve, I'm sure, with many of us. Even though this may be considered a duplicate posting, I recognize that not everyone reads the postings in the discussion forums, but many of you read my blog postings, so I am posting my response here too. I also encourage everyone who reads my blog to follow the link and join in the discussion on the forum as well.
I've never been fond of nicknames. I got called so many horrible names when I was growing up, like Baldy, Wiggy, Wiggy Longstocking, Kojak, Picard, Cue Ball, Chia Pet (because of the wig), etc. that I don't like to be called anything other than my name. My boyfriends and men that I have dated have all learned not to call me any endearments or pet names other than the ones that I allow, which are none. YoKasta or Kasta is just fine. (Of course, a couple of my friends here on AW call me Kat, and I'm not quite sure where that one comes from, but I'm cool with that one too.) But call me anything else, and I'm like a Vietnam vet having a flashback -- it's just not pretty.
Bottom line: I don't WANT you to make reference to my AA, because I am NOT defined by it. That's like making up a pet name for a quadriplegic based upon their disability or a nickname for an amputee -- it's just wrong and downright offensive. My name is YoKasta Montonique Martinez, aka Kasta or Kat or Kastababy -- and that is IT. Call me anything else other than that, and there will be some consequences and repercussions. End of story.
I'm not a politically correct person, and I'm not trying to be -- so if you want to use the adjective bald to describe me, then go ahead -- it's what I am. But don't use crap like "follicularly challenged" or "vertically challenged" to describe me as being short, because the whole PC bit is a load of BS anyway. Save it for someone with nothing else to worry about.
William Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet, "What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I would have to respectfully yet vehemently disagree with that statement. I understand the context in which that statement was made, and perhaps that is true in some cases, but not in the case of how to refer to an alopecian, and the use of nicknames or other adjectives. I think that a rose is still a rose, no matter how you try to refer to it, so just call it a rose and be done with it.
What do you think??
I've never been fond of nicknames. I got called so many horrible names when I was growing up, like Baldy, Wiggy, Wiggy Longstocking, Kojak, Picard, Cue Ball, Chia Pet (because of the wig), etc. that I don't like to be called anything other than my name. My boyfriends and men that I have dated have all learned not to call me any endearments or pet names other than the ones that I allow, which are none. YoKasta or Kasta is just fine. (Of course, a couple of my friends here on AW call me Kat, and I'm not quite sure where that one comes from, but I'm cool with that one too.) But call me anything else, and I'm like a Vietnam vet having a flashback -- it's just not pretty.
Bottom line: I don't WANT you to make reference to my AA, because I am NOT defined by it. That's like making up a pet name for a quadriplegic based upon their disability or a nickname for an amputee -- it's just wrong and downright offensive. My name is YoKasta Montonique Martinez, aka Kasta or Kat or Kastababy -- and that is IT. Call me anything else other than that, and there will be some consequences and repercussions. End of story.
I'm not a politically correct person, and I'm not trying to be -- so if you want to use the adjective bald to describe me, then go ahead -- it's what I am. But don't use crap like "follicularly challenged" or "vertically challenged" to describe me as being short, because the whole PC bit is a load of BS anyway. Save it for someone with nothing else to worry about.
William Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet, "What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I would have to respectfully yet vehemently disagree with that statement. I understand the context in which that statement was made, and perhaps that is true in some cases, but not in the case of how to refer to an alopecian, and the use of nicknames or other adjectives. I think that a rose is still a rose, no matter how you try to refer to it, so just call it a rose and be done with it.
What do you think??
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Comment by Lori D. on July 14, 2008 at 7:57am
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Kasta, I can't do the name-calling thing either. Although I've seen that some people are OK with nicknames that involve this disease..I was seriously tortured by other kids. I had my hat pulled off on a bus full of people...(so of course my wig came off). Been called names and ended up in tears many many times in school, over many years. It is like a horrible flashback to me too. I'm not one who finds humor in name calling but everyone has different experiences right? It doesn't hit a nerve with everyone. I doubt that people who choose to use nicknames were tortured in the way that we were as young kids. When I see or hear nicknames for this disease I try not to dwell on it...I sort of glaze over that kind of thing. By the way, I've enjoyed reading your posts. Stay cool girlfriend!!
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Comment by Mandy on July 14, 2008 at 11:02am
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Everyone will feel differently about this one I think. I think for me, there's a big difference between name-calling (which would be negative) and nicknames (positive). In school, kids could be mean and call names in a mean way, but then also near and dear friends may develop a nickname if that person is comfortable with it. If you're not comfortable with it, then absolutely no one should go against your wishes and call you something you don't want to be called. The first thing that came to mind was when I was a kid was we had a cat that was born with only one eye and we named her Wink. I just always thought it was adorable. No one has called me any nicknames, but if one of my good friends started calling me Patches or something like that, I would think it was cute. Again, this is just how I feel about the topic, not how I think everyone should feel.
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That's a good point...Nicknames and name-calling are different. I guess I was just thinking of the negative (name-calling). No one ever called me an affectionate alopecia-related name. And thinking of your pets name...we had a 3 legged little Papillion named Tippy!
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Comment by kastababy on July 14, 2008 at 6:21pm
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Interesting point, ladies -- generally, because my mother and grandmother didn't use nicknames with me growing up, I tend not to prefer them -- and because of my AA I suppose I never really differentiated the two. By and large, I don't go by nicknames, nor do I respond to them when someone uses one to address me. The only exception to that rule is the one nickname that some Alopecia World members have given me (perhaps something to help them remember my very unique name, perhaps?)
Please keep those responses coming!!!
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Comment by Carmella on August 5, 2008 at 2:13pm
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I completely understand what you're saying. I often feel similar. I refuse to be discriminated against for being bald. It's not right, or any different than discrimination of other kinds. Thanks for posting.
Heart
CAR
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