Comment by Mandy on August 5, 2008 at 2:28pm

I totally understand what you're saying. It's like you make your peace and accept the loss and then it starts messing with you! Every day I continue to lose hair to the point that it seems to be approaching AT. But at the same time that's happening, I have white fuzzies everywhere as though it's trying to grow back. But they remain white and fuzzy...not like actual hair. I feel like I shouldn't bic it...that I should give it a chance if it IS trying to grow. But at the same time I hate this in between stuff...I'd honestly rather just lose it all! I can accept that!

Comment by baldiegirl on August 5, 2008 at 3:56pm

I understand your feeling.You certaintly don`t want to build up expecations since dealiong with alopecia is like aroller coaster and dealing yet again with another disappoinment of seeing hair grow and fall again is harder than just losing it,. It happened 3 times for me.I nearly had 80% of hair but lost it immediately after I stopped medication.Prednisolone was killing me so I had to stop them .I concluded better healthy and bald rather than sick with hair

Comment by Kristen Ridenhour on August 5, 2008 at 4:24pm

I know exactly what you mean. I've had AU for 5 years, and everybody knows me with out hair now. But I don't think you would have to build a new identity as you put it. Just be who you are, with or without hair! Try not to stress out too much, you never really know what alopecia is going to do next, so it could just be a "scare." I've had a few really small patches of blond hair before, but they always went away fairly quickly.

Comment by amanda~ on August 8, 2008 at 11:45pm

Carmella,
your post just spoke to me. I have felt exactly as you described numerous times in my life. Afterwards I always feel like I must be the biggest jerk out there, but it is so great to hear that others have experienced the same.
I often go through phases whereby I get either random "long" hairs (according to me) that seem to appear out of nowhere and then later disappear all over again. OR I get this fuzzy haze of blonde (I've never been blonde in my entire life). I always spend tons of time in front of the mirror in aww and then consider all of your ideas about when it's gonna go away again etc.
Keep us posted.

Comment by Chelsea on August 11, 2008 at 7:16am

I've gotten to the point where I try to hid it when I get the "fuzzy's" I hate it when my friends or family gets excited when they see it. I have to break it to them, "This happens sometimes, dont' get excited, it will most likely fall out again."
But I remember the first time I got the fuzzys, I was really upset becuase I felt like i finally got to the point where I had "acceptance" and now it was going to come back! Of course, it never did, not sure if that is a relief or a disappointment. I also was scared that if it DID grow back, I'm not sure how I would react to get all the hair back and then have it fall out again. I couldn't go through the total loss again. This alopecia thing definitely can take you on an emotional roller coaster.

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