Comment by Ktownnana on July 12, 2011 at 8:59pm

Tina, I feel your pain. I have just a little hair, but I keep it shaved so that my wig will stay on. My biggest
regret is not getting a wig sooner. I would have bald spots on the top and sides of my head that I couldn't
cover and I think if I would have gotten a wig sooner, maybe no one would have noticed. They make wigs now that you can't even tell they are wigs. I waited for months before I told my boyfriend that I wore a wig and his quote was, "I wear a partial--do you feel any different about me?" It doesn't bother him one bit and I even take him to the wig shop with me to let him show me the styles that he likes. I have never and will probably never let him see me without a wig, but that is just me. When I can't look in the mirror and feel beautiful without a wig, how can I expect him to do the same? I admire all the people on here who can walk down a mall without a scarf or wig, but I would never be that confident.
You do not sound like a selfish little girl. The world today is so "hair oriented" how can we possibly feel
any differently than you feel? I think your boyfriend will understand since you have dated him so long, so dont end things so he won't have to deal with you. I think you will be pleasantly surprised when the time is right for you to tell him. I have had no problems with my wig staying on. I think because I do now shave my head they seem to stay in place a lot better. I hope this website will help you. I'm here for you whenever you want to vent or just talk about it.
Sandy

Comment by Hana Bunny Catsumi on July 12, 2011 at 11:26pm

Hi Tina, you sound like a strong woman who has it in her to accept this fate we all seem to share. Who's to know why we were the one's chosen to inherit or develop this condition? Please try to make your peace with it. I've spent too many years feeling self-conscious and have missed out on so much that life has to offer. I started wearing a wig years ago when I got a job in a firm where I wanted to fit in and not raise eyebrows. Funny, since I have to pencil them in along with the sparse ones I still have. But, I really believe we are all our own worst critics and people will accept and love you for who you are on the inside, not how thick or what color your hair is. At 18 it's a hard burden to understand since so much of your life is starting for you now. Believe in yourself, be strong, and know that hair does not make us who we are. It's a challenge that we must take on, and to succeed is to hold your head up not let it define us. Take care and know there are many of us that completely understand your pain and confusion, try to take some comfort in knowing you are not alone. Best of everything to you, I wish you all the happiness in the world as you start your life now, after high school. And take care of yourself! What you do now actually does define whom you are to become in adulthood. Wish I'd taken that to heart when I was 18. The lesson I have learned through all my years is to not take anything or anyone for granted.

Comment by Karen Smith on July 12, 2011 at 11:54pm

Hi, My daughter was a senior in highschool when her alopecia came back with a vengence. She lost all of her hair in a 2 week period. Fortunately I bought her a very good partial wig and she was able to continue her activities. She is going into her second year in college and she is not missing out on life. She wears lace wigs and tapes them on. She changes them every 2-3 days. She swims and sleeps in them. She has a ton of friends and we just took ten of them to the lake for the weekend for her 20th birthday. She wakeboards, dives off the boat and plays hard. She has a boyfriend and he knows. When they were broken up last semester she was asked out all the time, some of those boys knew and some did not. She hates alopecia but says you have to find a way to be happy no matter what happens to you. She inspires me and the people around her. It is a tremendous loss but it does not have to stop you from having a full life.

Comment by tints on July 13, 2011 at 12:16am

thank you all so much. It means a lot to me to hear advice from others who have experience with alopecia. This site is already helping me SO much. I actually just told my boyfriend- and you were right. He was completely understanding. I'm grateful!

I'd like to hear some opinions about kinds of wigs, and what would be the best choice of wig? If I were to decide shaving my head- I am extremely active. My biggest fear is it falling off or if it gets pulled it'll come off. I'd be mortified! Thanks again everyone! :)

Comment by Tallgirl on July 13, 2011 at 12:27am

I kind of think the hairline of wigs can be obvious...especially when lit up by a camera flash. Besides, my eyebrows are sparse and at different heights, so I opt for wigs with bangs that come down to meet the top of my glasses. Problems solved!

Comment by Ktownnana on July 13, 2011 at 12:35am

Tina, I am very impressed with Kathy at galleryofwigs.com. You can email her a picture of you and she will recommend what style, color she thinks would look best on you. I like the monofilaments because it looks like your real scalp showing thru on your wig. I purchased 2 from Kathy this week for about the price of 1 synthetic wig not being a monofilament. I also prefer the synthetic over the human hair, because you can just shake them, put them on and you're good to go. Getting ready in 30 minutes is amazing. I actually liked a particular style wig and told Kathy about it and she said she thought it was prettier in the picture than the actual wig. She will be very honest and open with you. I had to leave a voice mail message the first time I called her, but she returned my call in less than 5 minutes. Take a few minutes and browse her web site and see the beautiful selection she has. I shave my head because like I stated before, my wigs just seem to stay on better, plus it is much cooler. That would be a decision you would have to personally make. I have had people in restaurants ask me who does my hair and I get compliments all the time about my wigs. I am so glad you were able to tell your boyfriend and he was completely understanding--that has to be a huge weight off your shoulders. Personally, I've never had a problem with my wig falling off and I rarely think about it. Good luck in whatever you decide to do and please keep us posted.....we are all in this together.....and we care!

Comment by tints on July 13, 2011 at 1:50am

I will definitely look at that site! I appreciate the guidance, and advice from everyone. I will keep you posted definitely! I will be a part of this site for the rest of my life, even if I regrow all of my hair!! I haven't even logged onto my facebook since I joined AW! I relate to it so much better, and having all of you to help me cope has raised my spirts, even in just one day! Thanks a million! I seriously do appreciate it!! :)

Comment by tints on July 13, 2011 at 2:00pm

Thanks! Your comment made me laugh :) its soo great to receive this support and advice. I agree, the hatred is not healthy. I was just having one of those days. Most days I'm alright and accepting of it! Thanks again :)

Comment by tints on July 14, 2011 at 1:20am

Rose thank you. I have been considering purchasing a not too expensice wig, or maybe a half wig or whatever... just in case! I've heard stories of people losing almost alll of their hair in a rapid amount of time.. And since that's a possibility, I want to have a back up right away, so I don't have to wait around for one. Anytime I get a chance I look online at wig places. The only internet access I have is through my phone so its limited but definitely enough to know what I'm looking at. Thank you for your inspirational words :)

Comment by Tallgirl on July 14, 2011 at 6:53am

Libraries have free internet use, as do some banks. Colleges also have free computer labs.

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