The doctor’s office called yesterday with the results from last week’s blood test. Nothing remarkable. I’m relieved, yet disappointed, as I was hoping for a treatable cause along the lines of a fungal infection. Amazing that one would wish for a fungal infection. All things considered, the alternatives could have been much worse than a dx including the term idiopathic – that’s Latin for unknown origin…medical speak for they don’t have a clue.

They offered a referral to a dermatologist of choice. I declined having traveled that road once before. The shots did little last time around. So be it. I’m far more at ease this time, much of which I attribute to the solace found here. The biggest concern was breaking the news to my kids and parents. Both took the news better than expected. Perhaps due to my own acceptance or, perchance, by the calmness in my conveyance…either way, the angst was minimal, or so they’ve led me to believe.

Plans tonight to be out and about, this time with my best friend who I haven’t seen in far too long. Growing families have taken precedent, yet we remain closer than brothers. I look forward to our visit, even if it means that I’m in the public eye.

I trust no one more than he in this world as we have been through thick and thin together. His support will be invaluable as decision time whether to rock a smooth head is just around the corner. The pending test results were the last milestone. I was hesitant to jump the gun without confirmation. More like stalling than hedging. The verdict is in…not much holding me back now except me.

My hair and eyebrows continue to wane with each passing day. The daily rat in the shower drain and brush full of hair have become annoyingly redundant. The ever growing bare spot on the side of my head has crept to within 1 ½ inches of my receding hair line. The opening is obvious, along with those from several new spots which peak out from what remains of my hair. I can see people’ eyes focus on the spots rather than the conversation…this is aggravating to say the least. I’m still me.

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Comment by kastababy on May 31, 2008 at 1:42am
Yes, you're still you -- and I for one am very glad that you are able to find solace, comfort, and support here!!! There's nothing like knowing that you're not alone in this journey to bring about the peace and acceptance we all crave so much. Whether it's confronting an AA diagnosis for the first or umpteenth time, having a ready-made support system makes dealing with test results, doctor visits, and the simple task of living that much easier to bear and endure!

Please continue to share your experiences with your AA, and make sure you let us know when you decide to take the plunge and shave your head!!! We're here for you!!!!

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