Am I crazy?

So I have been growing my hair out since June 26th. I have alot of hair coming in and it kinda got my hopes up, will there be hair in my future? I still have spots and its pretty thin in some places. I just dont know what to do anymore? I want to keep growing it out, I hate to give up so early and shave it again. But when I take showers and run my fingers through it I can see these hairs that still fall out. I wanna beleive it will come back to me! Is it crazy of me to think after 10 years maybe my hair is coming back?

I've been wearing scarves out and a wig with a hat over it on occasions. I bought a synthetic wig but I hate it on me, it looks horrible. See I went wig shopping and I found this perfect wig but silly me I felt it wasnt "me" and I got a different one that I tried on in a blonde color and im more of a brunette girl so i ordered it in that color and it just doesnt look the same... I swear I have the worst luck sometimes! So I am now trying to get ahold of the lady I purchased this wig from to see if I can swap it out for the first one I loved! (seeing how I havent worn this one Im hoping she will do this for me, but you just never know) Anyways, I just dont feel like me without hair! I want to except it and beable to wear nothing out! But I wish that it would either all come back or all fall out. It's an emotional roller coaster for me. I think that I've been emotional lately due to the "baby blues" as they call it, but I've been feel extra down lately because of my hair, I dont want to feel like this anymore.

You know I always tell myself to have faith, that God will give me back my hair. But maybe this is what God had in store for me? I'm really not sure why, but there must be a reason? Dont you think? Or is that crazy too?

I just dont know anymore.. I'm just very confussed right now!

Views: 6

Comment by jamie1 on September 8, 2008 at 11:56pm
Hi Casey, I don't think that you are crazy for remaining hopeful. After one round of AT (and I've had 4 so far) my hair grew back almost completely and remined in place for many years. This is a very unpredictable disorder and anything can happen.
Comment by Casey on September 9, 2008 at 1:50pm
Angela you are so right about God he is always her to comfort us. I think I just get so weak sometimes I question if he really is listening to me or not.. But then I look at my daughter and know God had everything to do with giving her to me and I know then he wants happiness for me just in different ways! He does listen to me just about different things. He doesnt give anyone anything they cant handle, I just have to learn how to handle it in my own way! My grandmother visited me this past week and we talked so much and tells me she remembers me as such a HAPPY child always SMILES!! and now Im such a different girl.. I want to be that happy go lucky type! I want to be optamistic and I want nothing more to be the kinda person that my daughter can look up to!
I have been more open, but sometimes I feel like the doors are just gunna cave in and then I dont know what Im gunna do.. Im just soo confused right now...
Im happy i have people like you to talk with, it really helps me, thank you.....
Comment by Lorena on September 21, 2008 at 1:37am
My hair never grew back and I was glad. I would'nt want to go thru the losing it again. And we do become stronger for our children. Because everyday we are teaching them,in how we act, and cope with the world and especially ourselves. Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you are alone.

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