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Dermatologist Appointment
First - Thank you for responding to me and sending me encouragement. It really did encourage me to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I don't really feel like I can vocalize everything that I'm feeling yet, and it helps to know that other people have been there. Thank you!!
Its been a little over a week since I noticed the first two patches...and holy cow this thing is moving fast. The three patches that I had in the back have all merged into one giant patch. There's one patch on the right side above my ear. I also have a patch in the front on the right side....lovely, now I can see it. It was traumatic in the back..but now that I can see it everytime I look in the mirror, its definitely harder.
I went to the dermatologist today. He did make sure that it wasn't a fungal infection or anything. But then said...Alopecia Areata. No idea why and no way to predict what will happen. He said that the injections would not work as my patches were too big and moving too quickly. He talked about a major course of systemic immunosuppressants. But, like I said...I work with infectious diseases and being immunosuppressed would not work with what I do. He gave me a topical corticosteroid. Liquid Temovate...I already had temovate ointment for my eczema. Use that for a month and come back. So we'll see...
I tried to go hat shopping today. I just ended up crying because I couldn't find a hat that fit me. They were all either too big or too small. I'm trying to put on a good face and joke about it. Man is that hard! My boyfriend says... "it could be way worse...just deal with it and put a bandana on." Umm...i want to smack him! Yes, I know it could be way worse, no this isn't the end of the world... But for now, when I have to stare at the growing bald patches on my head each day. its a bit traumatic. Waking up everyday to hair all over my pillow. Clogging the shower drain each day with hair. Running the hairbrush through my hair and having to pull out the hair before I can run it through my hair again. I feel like I'm losing everything feminine about my appearance...I don't want to just stick a bandana on my head. I was looking for a cute girlie hat...but no such luck! Ugh!!
No, this will not rule my life and I will deal with however things turn out...but for right now, I just need some support. I need it to be okay that I am upset. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm not freaked out. I have no idea how much hair I'm going to lose and its moving really quickly. At this rate, in 10 days, I'm not going to have any hair on the right side of my head. I know that this isn't the end of the world and that other people have way worse things to deal with, but I still need it to be okay that I cry about it. I need it to be okay that I am scared.
Its been a little over a week since I noticed the first two patches...and holy cow this thing is moving fast. The three patches that I had in the back have all merged into one giant patch. There's one patch on the right side above my ear. I also have a patch in the front on the right side....lovely, now I can see it. It was traumatic in the back..but now that I can see it everytime I look in the mirror, its definitely harder.
I went to the dermatologist today. He did make sure that it wasn't a fungal infection or anything. But then said...Alopecia Areata. No idea why and no way to predict what will happen. He said that the injections would not work as my patches were too big and moving too quickly. He talked about a major course of systemic immunosuppressants. But, like I said...I work with infectious diseases and being immunosuppressed would not work with what I do. He gave me a topical corticosteroid. Liquid Temovate...I already had temovate ointment for my eczema. Use that for a month and come back. So we'll see...
I tried to go hat shopping today. I just ended up crying because I couldn't find a hat that fit me. They were all either too big or too small. I'm trying to put on a good face and joke about it. Man is that hard! My boyfriend says... "it could be way worse...just deal with it and put a bandana on." Umm...i want to smack him! Yes, I know it could be way worse, no this isn't the end of the world... But for now, when I have to stare at the growing bald patches on my head each day. its a bit traumatic. Waking up everyday to hair all over my pillow. Clogging the shower drain each day with hair. Running the hairbrush through my hair and having to pull out the hair before I can run it through my hair again. I feel like I'm losing everything feminine about my appearance...I don't want to just stick a bandana on my head. I was looking for a cute girlie hat...but no such luck! Ugh!!
No, this will not rule my life and I will deal with however things turn out...but for right now, I just need some support. I need it to be okay that I am upset. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm not freaked out. I have no idea how much hair I'm going to lose and its moving really quickly. At this rate, in 10 days, I'm not going to have any hair on the right side of my head. I know that this isn't the end of the world and that other people have way worse things to deal with, but I still need it to be okay that I cry about it. I need it to be okay that I am scared.
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Comment by Lori M on August 20, 2008 at 8:51am
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Hey you,
Wow your hairloss pattern sounds exactly like what I am going through....Yes it isn't fun. I even died my hair strawberry blone because the lighter haircolor seems to hide the bald spot a little better. I noticed last night that it is starting to be a bit more obvious even with the blond so yikes I have to get a really nice wig and fast... Just trying to hang on until Sept 6th when I am going to Toronto to try and find a really nice "new me".
I have tried the hats too. There isn't much selection out there and I look horrid in a baseball hat...yuk.....
I see that you are a Christian..awesome. Me too although some days not a very good one...LOL.... God loves me anyways.... You just have to tell yourself that yes this really sucks but God is right there with you during this storm and will not forsake you. You can do this and I can do this and through his power we can overcome this.
I was faced with an adominal surgery 4 years ago because I had a perforated bowel. It left me with an illeostomy which means I have an appliance on my side now. I thought I would die. I felt disfigured and ugly but you know what it hasn't changed a darn thing about me. I learned to deal with it. Here I am four years later happy as anything not even thinking about how my body and appearance has changed. I asked God why me... Than I thought why not me. I swore I would never ever have that surgery and that I would die before I would wear a bag on my side. Well I chose life in the end and am amazed at what has come out of that experience. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and God knows why. I got through that hell and I sure as heck am going to get through this with his help again. Hang on to God and he will take you through the Hurricaine and bring you out to the most amazing places. I am still having issues with this Alopecia too but it is a learning thing isn't it.
If we get really nice wigs no more fidgeting with my hair in the morning! Bonus!!!!
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Comment by CSue on August 22, 2008 at 12:22am
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Rachel, I've purchased some "girlie" hats at local stores such as JC Penny, Kohl's, Burlington Coat Factory, Target and even Walmart. But my favorite hat shops are online (hatagories.com and tlcdirect.org). The latter carries hats with an inner drawstring making them adjustable. Whatever you're feeling is natural. I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here.
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