I KNEW I WOULD BE OK

So I wrote back in April about my lifestory - especially about how much I struggled with my self esteem even up to then regarding being a bald female. What a rough road it has been. And yet I also wrote about some changes like the courage it took for me to even write my story. I posted pics of myself bald on this site a couple months ago and that was another huge step for me - out there for the world to see! I even posted a link to AW on my Facebook profile. Really putting myself out there - at least it is for me. I have seen even more growth in the past few weeks. I was dating someone up to about a week ago. However, about three weeks into the relationship, Ifelt the relationship could go somewhere and so choose to tell him about my AU. For the first time, all those ugly thoughts - like "What if he rejects me?" "What if he can't deal with it?" "What if he thinks I'm ugly now?" - just came and went right out of my head instead of sticking around and taunting me. I put no pressure on myself and felt totaly at ease when I was ready. This time, for the first time, there was no shame, no tears and no fear. Honestly, he could feel however he wanted to, I KNEW I WOULD BE OK. I could finally say that if he didn't want to see me anymore it was his shortcoming and his loss, no reflection on my beauty or value as a woman. I am coming to greater acceptance and holding my own. Does this mean that from now on it will be easier? Maybe not, maybe I'll take two steps back temporarily. That's ok. I'm only human. This road still lies ahead of me, but I am making progress!!

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Comment by jamie1 on August 19, 2008 at 10:40am
Dear Kelly,
Ofcourse relationships with alopecia can be so DIFFICULT! Speaking objectively, you are a VERY attractive woman. Your alopecia is a part of your beauty as are your very blue eyes. All this and you are an author too! Okay, I'll stop before I describe your ears as lovely in their "lobesseantness." Seriously, look at all the other beautiful alopecian women here who have loving and devoted partners. You don't have to settle for anyone who is less than head over heals in love with you. After reading your page, it's readily apparent that you have so much going for you. Any man would be very fortunate indeed to have you in his life. Three cheers for your progress!!!

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