(*ALSO SEE OUR IMPORTANT COMMENT ON PAGE 3 OF THIS BLOG DISCUSSION. THANKS.)

Cheryl and I would like to know how you feel about someone (an alopecian or non-alopecian) joining Alopecia World to look for the love of their life.

For the record, we do not have any problem with singles meeting and mingling in Alopecia World as long as they always bear in mind that this unique and dynamic social networking site is, first and foremost, a family-friendly support network.

In other words, while Alopecia World is not a dating site per se (like eHarmony.com, for example), it is still a beloved community in which eligible people are free to fall in love because this can also be a very uplifting experience and life-enhancing relationship.

But what do you think? Please leave your reply in the space below.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

richard jones (rj) and Cheryl Carvery
Co-founders, Alopecia World

Views: 717

Comments are closed for this blog post

Comment by Kelly on August 20, 2008 at 3:54pm
I would "ditto" Rebecca's comments. Very well stated.
Comment by JeffreySF on August 20, 2008 at 5:27pm
I'm fine with it.
After all....Acceptance is all there is.
As with anything be careful.

Jeff
Comment by Shannon on August 20, 2008 at 5:33pm
I think it is great if people meet here and fall in love. That is cool. But I think you are asking if people with OUT Alopecia should be able to join simply because they are looking for love. What is their motive in coming to a site like this as opposed to the millions of other sites out there? I appreciate very much that there are partners on here that let the rest of us know that they don't mind whether or not their partner has AA. That is reassuring. But a lot of us on this site are very vulnerable and, to be honest, a couple of guys that have left comments on my page have kind of wierded me out because I don't know how or why they have come to Alopecia World. Are they particularly drawn to bald women?

Recently I received this comment "Hey, you are beautiful, why can't I meed a girl like you?" I went to the guys page and could not find any way that he was connected to Alopecia. Although yes, it is nice to receive compliments, it also made me feel very uncomfortable because 1. I am married and, 2. I have no idea what his motive for being on Alopecia World is. Reading his comments it appears that he already propositioned several women and is trying to "meet" them. This could be very dangerous.

One of my goals is to not be defined by my looks--I am grateful that I no longer allow my beauty to be defined by whether or not I have hair. So, I don't think it is fair for us to become objects of the desires of people only wanting somebody bald, either. I don't know if that makes sense.

I suppose it is different for me because I am married. Maybe there could be some kind of registry that says whether or not you are interested in dating.

I have come here and basically put everything deep and personal out there because I know that it is important to connect with others going through what I am. So, it makes me a bit nervous to think of anybody being able to say, "I want to meet a nice girl with AA." being able to read my thoughts, see my photos, etc.

How do you know if a guy is really looking for love or if he is a wierd-o that might use personal information inappropriately? Or, more importantly, how do we know that he is not taking advantage of the wonderful atmosphere of warmth and TRUST that you have worked so hard to create here on Alopecia World. Women with AA are often vulnerable in many ways. We may have a hard time with self-confidence in ourselves and men could easily prey on that weakness.

I feel that the main site should stay focused on supporting alopecians and not necessarily on making love matches, although if that happens along the way, then great. There are tons of sites available to those interested in making a love match.

Maybe there is a way that you could make certain profiles available only to others with alopecia or that have a direct relationship to somebody with alopecia. Those are really the only ones that I feel comfortable viewing my profile.

Sorry, I know that was kind of a lot of rambling. Hope it made sense.

Shannon
Comment by Jennifer on August 20, 2008 at 5:37pm
I agree with Guin. We are here to support each other and if we meet some one cool beans. But coming her just to find love no. I have actaully had a couple guys ask to be my friend on here that i have denied cause i thought they were only here for that. I dont think Non alopeican people should be aloud to join if they are here looking for love. I feel the same way about the wig people. even if they say they are here to support and have good info. If i want a wig ill come to you. If you turly have a great product that we will use then pay for your ad on the side. The friends, family memebers and parents of aloepicans are perfectly accectable. I think it is great when they join to learn and ask questions. But I'm not here to be a meat market and be put on display cause i dont have hair. I dont want some random man coming into my internet home to drool over me. I think if you are just looking for love go to a dating site. expecially if you are non alopecian. I am sure there are sites just for those that like bald chicks they can go there to find love. This is our place for us. If we find love awesome bonus points. Thats why i like the NAAF conferences we are there to meet new people support and have fun. they dont allow people that dont have alopeica just to come cause they like bald heads. You have to have a reason ie friend, family member. it should be the same here. We have too many young teen girls on here not to be firm about this. Parent will not be as willing to allow these girls on here and they will not get the full benifit of the honesty and support we have here.
Comment by amanda~ on August 20, 2008 at 5:45pm
I do not feel that Alopecia World should include a "dating" forum. If you connect with someone on the site by chance then that is fine, but it should not be promoted by the website. I also would not like to see it come up when someone googles "dating websites" as that is not the direct intention of this site, to my knowledge. As others have said, I too would not want anyone to come on here and either make someone else feel uncomfortable or hurt/stalk/bother someone...how would you monitor for that type of behavior.
Comment by Silje H Teig on August 20, 2008 at 6:08pm
I totally agree with you Tam. Whatever happens happens. However, this should be a site for making friends and get and give support, and not a dating site!

Silje
Comment by Jim on August 20, 2008 at 8:12pm
I have encountered the term "fetish" as it relates to women who are bald, more than a few times. And it is always used as a term of derogation and approbrium. What I think is unfortunate is for someone to view another solely on how they appear, whether that be appealling or grotesque. I happen to find women who are bald and hairless to be very attractive, to the point that someone might consider the appeal to be a fetish. But the physical appeal without any accompanying emotional attraction makes any relationship incomplete.
Comment by Cheryl on August 20, 2008 at 8:32pm
I'm very open to the idea! I'm not sure the idea about converting the entire site to a "alopecia dating love" thing, but, do like the idea of creating a dating section, or something. As Elizabeth expressed, one minor concern for me is that some people may have a fettish for bald beauties, and may use the ste to explot that. On the other hand, you guys know what you're doing, and I have faith in that. :-)
Comment by Wayne on August 20, 2008 at 9:00pm
As one who has been in the dating world with alopecia, I can see both sides. Frankly, I'd be a bit creeped out by people wanting to date me for my hair loss. I guess it would depend on the message. Something like, "I've read your posts and I identify with a lot of what you've said," coming from someone you've participated with in discussions wouldn't be so bad, but out-of-the-blue messages definately raise a red flag.

Perhaps a 'dating section' could be a group on this site. Those who want to join that group would be open to dating possiblities. I would suggest the following ground rules:
1. If a member of the site has joined the group, that member is open to receiving messages from others, but don't treat it like a meat market.
2. If a member of the site has not joined the group, leave them alone. Don't send messages like, "Hey, you're hot. You should join the Alopecians Open to Dating group.
3. If a member of the site had joined the group but later left, they left for a reason -- success in finding someone or turned off by the messages received. Respect that. If they have left the group, then leave them alone.

This way, those with no interest in the group would not have to be bothered by people they don't want bothering them.
Comment by Bob Hershberger on August 21, 2008 at 3:37am
Hi Everybody..Personally,I think its a great idea..Ive always had the thought in the back of my mind about meeting a AA..At etc,,woman..Im not sure why,but it has always intrigued me..I believe we are maybe more humble,and thoughtful,kind and caring people..And besides,theres no obligitation..It sure would make life a little easier..I say..HECK YA !!! Thanks everybody...Bob

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