Lisa-Lynn Marini's Blog – May 2011 Archive (27)

May 31 - My therapy update

Went to therapy today and there was obviously a big group again, this time we had a special person in there talking about substance abuse, and guess what I found out?

I overly take my meds and I find it a necessity to have my 3 glasses of wine at night and that means I have a substance abuse even tho i don't do it in the day time but I over take my meds in the day and then i have my drinks at night, so after therapy is over I have to attend a substance abuse program. makes me feel… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 31, 2011 at 7:00pm — 4 Comments

SUCCESS!!

I reached my goal today and went for a walk wit my husband around the block and we did it in broad day light right after dinner, I was hesitant at first due to my social anxiety problem but I grab held of his hand and off we went.
I'm very proud of myself and tomorrow we plan to do the very same thing hopefully soon enough I won't have anxiety attacks and i'll be able to go out on my own .
I've aheived my goal that I set and I am proud of myself

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 29, 2011 at 8:13pm — 1 Comment

Biggest challenge for me BEGINS

I have set a goal for tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m eastern standard time to start walking around the block with my husband so this way I dont have to deal with axiety cause most people in my complex are in their homes.

The reson for this goal is because I went from a 110lbs to 145lbs. i've excercised at home but it's doing me no good, perhaps its a sign of God to push me out and work on my anxiety so i'm looking forward to my walk around the block with my hubby tomorrow night .

wish me… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 28, 2011 at 8:35pm — 4 Comments

Finally gonna get the help I need

In group therapy yesterday I promised to make a goal that was to walk my dog and I will keep to it as I have anxiety attacks so even if for 10 minutes I will accomplish it. And I don't give a damn who wants to stare at my hair piece( as my husband likes to all it, he says wig is too harsh)

When session was over I asked if I could also get a one on one counseling to help me over many hurtles in my life and already i've got that in motion so I'm excited to look forward to not only a new me… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 27, 2011 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

Anyone know what to do?

I have like I said before my head has a lining of hair but refuses to grow because of my white cells so I look funny ppl think I save m head but onky wear it grows and thats right in the front so I make it look even, however I am constantly scrtching ,my head and lt leaved little scabs, I even went ot have my nails done so it's not as sharp as mt own hair but still I pic and end yp scabby, anyone know of ay cream out ther to stop it at all?

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 26, 2011 at 10:21am — No Comments

"Aopecia"

I know this place is basically for alopecia, I agree with Rob and others, it takes time and I have to keep going , I have to keep fighting.

I came down with post dramatic stress disorder thanks to the many years of pain, abuse, mentally and physically and the explosion part for me was the Alopecia,i'm 38 years old and I know it's time or help i'm getting older now and want to be set free from all of this, and be able to stop the anxiety that I have had to deal with for 32 years. So Yes I… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 26, 2011 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

Therapy for the fourth time

I thought that this therapy would help me out in dealing with my alopecia amongst other issues in my life , yesterday I filled out a form and had no clue I was gonna be rated on it, today I got the paper back and for depression I got 'SEVERE and for anxiety I got "SEVERE" I start to wonder If I will get over this and how long will it take? can anyone relate to this problem?

Nervous me

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 25, 2011 at 7:30pm — 5 Comments

Being open

my inlaws from italy came to visit along with my mother in law who lives in Toronto, I found the courage to pull out my laptop and show her my album called my secret world of alopecia(facebook) I showed her who I really looked like with no hair. She said to me," you are still beautiful and the one with the blond curly hair ,you look like lady gaga,,HAHA. I think she said that to make me laugh. So I felt better showing her the real me of who I am when she leaves my home. I felt relief i felt I… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 22, 2011 at 11:00am — 5 Comments

Bald for the day

I decided to get up this morning, showered didn't even smear my mirror as it was fogged, walked out, got my cleaning clothes on,blared some music cleaned all 3 floors of my house, then showered again, smeared my mirror and put my make-up on, with some lipstick, creamed my head and sat outside waiting for my husband to come home and start the bbq, and when he came in he kissed my head and rubbed his hand on it and said, that's a sexy feeling,,that totally got me by surprise and he said I'm in no… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 20, 2011 at 7:00pm — 17 Comments

Today's therapy: "Negativity"

Just keeping everyone updated on my therapy for those that read it.

Today we dealt with negativity and I thought I would be ok but I just couldn't cope with it as that is my worst ever is negativity, as a young child I was used to everyone coming and going out of my life and now I worry that now that I am bald my negativity is this," how long will it take before my husband gets sick of looking at me bald? so naturally I shed some tears today I couldn't hold it back, it was the worst… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 19, 2011 at 6:00pm — 4 Comments

Update on my therapy

I went today and wow they weren't kidding before it all gets better it gets worst, I've never meant so many people with so much pain including myself, but I made it through and I feel good about myself today. The more groups I go to the better I can heal over my alopecia amongst other things. Next week we will talk about NEGATIVITY and I am looking forward to it because that for sure is going to be for me with my alopecia.

Just wanted to keep some of my friends on here… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 17, 2011 at 7:30pm — 2 Comments

Cruelty

it's amazing how many people can be so rude, Friday I decided to take out the trash in my turban, we live in a complex so we have to leave our house to get to the garbage house, i thought no one would see me considering it was during the day and it was working hours fo most, As I came back out of the hut my neighbor yells, you looking to be an indian with that turban on? I was not only in tears but furious because i thought it was racist I was so tempted to go up to him and knock him out. But I… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 15, 2011 at 10:00am — 9 Comments

Dr's apt.

I went to the dr's apt. this evening to take a look at my head as for some reason I has these very soft tiny stubs onver my head , I asked him if there was a chance it would grow and that it has been like this for a vey long time. He told me ufortunatly it will stay that way, it is your white cells overly acting. I came out crying in hopes I'd gt at least little good news but I got bad news instead. So basically i've got the lining for hair but it just won't grow:(

Has anyone or does… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 13, 2011 at 7:56pm — 2 Comments

Did something well

Today was my second day through my therapy and to my surprise it was my turn to talk, I spoke of my bad childhood and adolescent life and brought up "alopecia" I asked who here knows what that means? they all answered NO so I explained what it was and they told me I was very brave to share something like that. and that they couldn't even tell I wore a wig.But they were very supportive of it.

my counselor is going to help me raise awareness in Oshawa about alopecia when I have done my… Continue

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 12, 2011 at 6:30pm — 2 Comments

WHY?

I was ok today got some sun and now 'm like "WHY ME? what did I do wrong to the man upstairs to give me no hair???WHY LORD WHY ME??????]
All I want to do is cry and stay in bed and never come back out
I'm sorry to vent here but i didn't know where else to go share my thoughts

sad Lisa

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 11, 2011 at 8:00pm — 6 Comments

My therapy

Today I went to my therapy and Oh my God I was shaking, until I got in there except I was surrounded by men!! I was the only woman there so I was nervous until the end I started to open up, my fisrt
assignment I have is to do something about 15 min before Thursday that makes me happy!!

I'm glad I did it today I made my first step!!!

I went in my pretty curly wig today too and the secretary was saying oh my what gorgeous hair you have, made me feel good and pretty.

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 10, 2011 at 6:00pm — 2 Comments

Nervous

I thought for a while I was gonna be ok and that I wouldn't be nervous on my trip to my therapy session , however today I find myself a nervous wreck, wondering if someone will stare at my head, wondering if they can figure out I am wearing a wig, I mean alot of folks stare and I guess it's only natural but I'm nervous about it.
Tomorrow is a big day for me and I really hope I can pull through it!
'Nervous me

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 9, 2011 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

moms

Wshing all you moms out here a woderful moter's day! may it be the best one, ad for those of us that lost our moms , may te=hey not beforgotten,,

R.I.P MY DEAR MOM you will be missed today xoxoxoxox

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 8, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

My sister

HURAYYYYY I found the courage to be bald today in front of my sister and brother in law i'm so proud of myself I even posted a picture check it out!

happy me :)

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 7, 2011 at 11:00pm — 5 Comments

Check out my photos just posted

A few of you thought I might be in rmission for hair growth but it's not its only the top of my hair that I have very little of infact next to nothing. So I have posted some photos of myself

Added by Lisa-Lynn Marini on May 6, 2011 at 5:02pm — No Comments

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