Where acceptance is all there is
I'm really open about it. I feel like there is no other way to be. If you are secretive about your alopecia, it only seems to bring about negativity. For me, I wear wigs. I LOVE the fact that I can change my hair everyday, and that I don't have to shave my legs like EVER. And that's exactly what I said to guys on dates. I usually tell them on the first date, but I also have a tattoo for alopecia that piques peoples interest. It's a good way into an explanation.
I have had guys tell me they think it's weird or strange, and that's crappy, but at the same time, it's a great test. If a guy calls me strange for having a disease that I cannot help having, then what's to say, if I didn't have alopecia, how they would act later on in the relationship if some health issue (that affects appearance especially) did arise?
It took a lot of fishing around, but I eventually found a guy who absolutely appreciates me for who I am. For me, alopecia made me confident. It taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think about my hair, so long as I THINK I look good. My boyfriend has openly told me he thinks it's awesome that I can change my hair everyday, and that I look sexy as hell when I'm bald. He even gives me head massages.
Someone mentioned on the site before...(sorry I forget who that was) that the third date was an apporpriate time. I loved her explanation for this too. If I find it, I'll send you the link. If you give yourself a deadline, it also makes you take a hard look at if you want to let that person into your life or not.
Recenlty, I used that 3rd date rule. It had me make a decision about this 'suitor' much sooner than I would have. Allow me to paraphrase - although, I'm sure I'm not doing the original advice justice: 1st date - swap stories, get introduced; 2nd date - established chemistry, see if you share interests and match up according to your must haves and cant' stands; 3rd date - roll out the alopecia explanation and see if they stick around. If they do, then the relationship shows promise...if they don't forget em. They wouldn't stick around in tough situations down the road.