This is the most fustrating part about being bald. If you're not already dating or married than there's no hope of finding a mate. Not talking about meeting with a wig then revealing afterwards about being bald. I mean being a proud bald women and having a man still find you attractive and sexy as if you had a head full of hair. Where are these men?

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well, i'm attrcted to bald woman...you're all beautiful in a unique way...sexy, strong, powerfull...that´s what you are...i've dated do alopecian girls and i'm pretty much sure i'm gonna merry one...LOL...

kisses to you all
* "...i'v dated TWO alopecian girls..."
..and you are going to MARRY one...right?
Yep!! LOL... Sorry for my English... ;)
One man gone does not a forever make.

I know.
Pebbles and other worried ladies,
I did a lot of research on this for my book (see my page for more info), and found many women who initially felt the same way as you do. Some had good reasons (they had been dumped by husbands or boyfriends), but after an attitude change, the dumpees subsequently found guys who loved them no matter what! And just as many women I interviewed had boyfriends or husbands they met AFTER they lost hair. In my own experience (over 25 years of no hair), I have found many men who either don't care, or find it sexy. The other guys -- the ones who have a problem with it -- aren't worth talking about. Cheryl, Jeff and Robb are right. Just do the best you can with what you have, put a big smile on your face and look for ways you can reach out and help others. And guess what! You will be fine. I promise.
Leslie Ann
Thanks for the input Leslie, I agree with you. You can also look through the members on Alopecia World, even do an advanced search for Married or engaged and you will see that some wear wigs, some don't and some go in between. Either way they found mates, had families, careers, went to school... I said it before and I can say it again... "be transformed by the renewing of your minds"
I can't and don't believe your statement is true, even though I understand how you may be feeling. It is not how things are.

My daughter lost her hair at 12, from 14 onwards she has had boyfriends (all knew she had alopecia). I know for a fact that her hair didn't attract or detract from who she was and is. She has a steady bf now and is 20 years old. He could care less if she has her hair on or off. He loves way more than her hair - he loves her, all of her.

There is some great advise and help in this discussion and I just wanted to say thanks to all those that have contributed as it is a wonderful read!

Pebbles - trust me when I say you will find your way. Do the things you have to do to make yourself feel good.

Hugs

Rosy
My daughter is in college and she has a boyfriend now but last semester when she did not she was asked out alot. Her boyfriend broke up with her before college last year and she went off to college broken hearted and bald. She wears beautiful wigs that she tapes on and only changes every 3 days. She only tells the people that she wants to know. When her boyfriend first broke up with her she cried and said no one would ever love her again because of alopecia. She picked herself up soon after that and started dating again. She soon discovered other boys would care also. She is back with her first love and he says he doesn't care about her alopecia. She has lost her eyelashes when with him and he told her to just take them off. Some men can handle this. My daughter would never go out without a wig though. She feels prettier with her wigs on and they have become part of her.
Do not waste the time you have been given on earth to enjoy - because at any time you may find that time is running out and you will wish you would have spent it differently. There are good men out there - they have always been hard to find - does this perhaps make it more difficult - maybe - but so do a host of other issues. I will never say this is easy - it isn't, but do not give up, on yourself or on the existence of good men. xoxoox
Think about people who are memorable. They are usually the ones who bend, move, talk expressively, show facial emotions, hug, etc. The models who keep their faces and bodies stiff? Those go nameless. If you are someone who keeps head stiff, arms crossed, and face controlled or silent, then you are not making yourself memorable to those guys. You have to smile, move, laugh, ask questions, and stay away from sad faces. Attractive and sexy people need attractive HUMAN characteristics, more interest in others than self, and interesting movements.
I feel the exact same way. I was in a relationship with someone who absolutely did not mind. And he thought I was beautiful despite the lack of hair. However, since that relationship has ended my self-esteem has taken a huge blow. I feel like he might have been THE ONLY one who would ever love me. I get sad every once in a while...what if no one can ever love me ever again?!

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