I very rarely wear wigs. I wear them once a week maybe once every few weeks. I wear hats or scarves almost daily. Usually I wear a wig for special occasions or for meetings. I went on a great date with this guy last night and I had a meeting earlier that day so I wore a wig to meet him. We both had a great time and he was very adamant about us setting up a second date before thanksgiving when we both go out of town (so I know he likes me thus far). We met online and in my photos I have two bald pictures and one fairly obvious long red hair wig photo. I realized by meeting him with the wig he could either think
1. My hair grew out from those bald photos
2. I am bald but I wear wigs regularly.
I don't want to give him the illusion I like to wear wigs (at all) by wearing one on the second date just to fool him into being attracted to me but I also really like him and don't want to be foolish and do something drastic that may detract him from me prematurely. Should I opt for the hat or wig on the second date? I want to wear a hat of course, but when is a good time to present to him my daily head wear? 2nd or 3rd date or do you think it does not matter if he already likes me?
p.s. this is my first time actually liking someone after being bald these past 8 months. :/
thanks for the feedback Aimee. :) I think third date is a good idea to talk about the alopecia too. Only thing is I'll have to avoid the question on the second date when I wear a hat. I'm thinking of saying something like "I'll tell you about it another time but I'm not sick/undergoing chemo" and then if we decide to go on the third date I'll tell him about it then. I think I just lost it so early and the prospect of wearing a wig for the rest of my life sounds completely unbearable so I figure i'll get used to it now and not wear wigs during my day to day (also I've always been one who's wanted to chop all her hair off when I had long hair but I didn't have the guts haha).
I'm glad you have such a great marriage. I bet dealing with alopecia has only made you guys stronger <3
Hello! Just my random '2 cents': Wearing a wig on the second date might well "give him the illusion" you "like to wear wigs". I understand "don't want to be foolish and... detract him from me", but judging by the fact he asked you out after seeing two bald photos of you, he must be fine with it. If you wear a wig, then after date #2, you'll have worn a wig on 100% of the dates. If you wear a hat, then after date #2, you'll have worn a wig on 50% of the dates, & a hat on 50%. Considering that you wear a hat/go bald the vast majority of the time, it might be worth giving him a more accurate idea of your daily look, by wearing a hat on the second date.
I also haven't 'liked'/dated anyone since being bald... for five years now. Well done for getting back in the dating game, have a great time on date 2 and if you post an update on how it went I'd be interested to hear :-)
Thanks. I agree. I don't want to set him up for disappointment and I would also like to gauge his attraction level he has with me wearing my everyday look... so I think I'll wear a hat on date #2. Also, I know the feeling of not wanting to date. You will find someone amazing and will think you are the bees knees. I am 100% sure those with alopecia don't have to settle for less :) <3
yeah, I like the third date idea and maybe if there is an opening on the second I can talk about that. I am glad you guys worked that out :) I know how hard it is. I lied to my friends about it until I couldn't anymore. It's hard to contain that secret that is eating you away. thanks for the feedback :)
oh a topical??? i bet that would be way safer. Are they working on one? That's really exciting. Do you think I could add you and you could tell me what he says about it? :D
ooh okay. i hope something can be figured out regarding that. fingers crossed! thank you :)
I think you should tell him before your second date, that way if he dose not accept you, your heart wont fully be in it.