Sex and alopecia

What are some of your do's and don'ts of sex? As an alopecian, in other words, what are some of the things that you do or do NOT expect from your sex partner as it relates to your alopecia? Are alopecic areas of your body -- for example, your head -- completely off-limits during sex, or might your partner touch those areas under certain conditions during sex? Is your partner free to compliment or otherwise speak of your alopecia during sex? Do you forbid your partner from touching your wig or hairpiece during sex? Has your alopecia in any way diminished or ruined your sex life (or perhaps enhanced it!)? What can your partner do or NOT do to help you become more comfortable with your alopecia during sex?

Only mature adults are invited to contribute to this discussion. Please be discrete and tactful, as vulgarity, profanity, and obscenity will not be tolerated.

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Permalink Reply by Maya :) on September 13, 2011 at 6:41am
Im 20 and the guy i love hes 26....hes so understanding i told him i have alopecia and he knew before i even told him. he knew 2 years ago...he didnt even care! Now we are a little intimate with kisses and so but im just worried to take out my wig! Im worried and shy to be sexual and intimate with him! I dont allow anyone to touch my head, i jump and scream, its so weird.... He and i are so insync and we balance each other out that i dont want my sillyness and so to ruin my relationship....what do i do? should I tell him about this? should i wear a bananda? i wear a wig?I dont wear a wig when i sleep even when im home, i allow my head to breathe but when im out yes.... ppl are cruel as hell but now ill be with somone, im worried that arhh just like waking up and him seeing me without a wig!? im soooooooo worried and :(

what do i do??? i hope i dont sound silly....
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on September 13, 2011 at 7:39am
Shouldn't your loved one be almost an extension of yourself...particularly when sleeping? When you can get to THAT point with someone, instead of still trying to impress like you are out at a club, then it's real.

If someone is right for you, you won't even have to ask these questions.
Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 14, 2011 at 1:51am
Maya, Has he seen you without your wig at all?

We have discussed this before on Alopecia World and you may want to take a look at "Must your love interest "see" your alopecia". You may want to take a look at that discussion as well.

After reading it, let us know what you think.
Permalink Reply by Sheena Tha Cody on April 9, 2013 at 11:56pm

One day i was telling my boyfriend to feel my head. He says i feel your head every time we have sex. I looked at him like really. So he laced his fingers together and put them on top of my head to show me. It was funny that i really never noticed that he was even touching my head. I guess I must have been a little distracted by something else. lol

Permalink Reply by Sheena Tha Cody on April 10, 2013 at 11:06am

But i dont know if we have ever had sex with my wig on its not comfortable and its hot and itchy and it would just get all tangly and ratty and look really really wiggy i just think it would bug the crap out of me it bugs the crap out of me when we arent getting intimated so it seams like it would be even more annoying then plus when i had hair a always put it in a pony tail so the it wouldnt be in my face or get pulled and make me way way hotter with hair all over me i had so much hair it was like a hair blanket and if i was going to be active it had to be up

Permalink Reply by MaddiiBoo on April 10, 2013 at 5:58am

Nothing is a no no when it comes to us, when I was in the process of going bald it was no lights on sex and I asked him not to touch my head cause my scalp was so tender, but now I love having my scalp caressed (so much so that I spend a lot of my time caressing my scalp) and wigs in general make me uncomfortable so I won't be using them in bed. I have been away from my man since I lost all of my hair so we have yet to have complete AT intimacy but he makes me feel beautiful and I know that he is the only person I can be bald around and not care. Will update y'all when I finally get around to it. =]

Permalink Reply by Ivan on June 19, 2013 at 12:41pm

I barely (excuse the pun) remember sex, and have had two wives who were totally disinterested in it but understand from trustworthy friends that it's fun, albeit hot and messy. Maybe burning the wigs as a boy was a mistake? Nah, the constant Wales' rain (and the occasional sun) on my scalp facilitates intercourse with God, when anything goes. I try to touch every part of Her.... every day orgasmic. What could be better? Sorry not to be able to add more. P.S. I did consider dating but considered it too risky due to all the disease which is about. And I'd prefer a woman without hair, but have never seen one. I think that nearly all live in the U.S.A. and Pakistan.

Permalink Reply by Martina Wright on May 5, 2015 at 12:10am

I need to get my confidence back to even approach the intimacy that would lead to sex.  I have lost my mojo totally.  I have a supporting husband - but I don't think he understands my issues relating to self image and thus feeling sexy.  I always wear a hat when we have sex, but my mind is always on that - hoping that it doesn't fall off etc.....  how do I overcome this?

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