We all know that when being in a relationship, the couple should like each other for who they are and not for what they look like. Yes, there should be a physical attraction between the two.. but when it comes down to it of course I'm talking about Alopecia.

I'm 20 years old, and have had Alopecia since I could remember. That's what people in my small town know me by. I have told maybe 3 of my friends about why I actually do not have hair. I'm sure they have told people, but people automatically know that I'm the girl who wears a wig. When they say my name...it usually automatically comes along with "oh that girl who wears a wig?" or "that girl who doesn't have hair?" It sucks, but unfortunatly that's the name I've given myself.

I have never dated somebody from my own town. In high school I felt that nobody would want to be with someone who wore a wig. Guys from surrounding towns have showed interest in me, but when they ask their friends from my town if I'm a "good choice", they would bring up the fact that I don't have hair. And that immdiatley made them run away. It sucked and I felt so unwanted. So I began to think that if I dated somebody far away who didn't know anyone from my town, that it would make things easier. In fact, it did for a while. My first "real" boyfriend started right before I turned 16. We dated for about 2 years. I thought I had it made let me tell you. But deep down inside me, it didn't feel right. It kind of felt as if I were living a lie with him. I never once told him I wore a wig, and he never found out. He was very controlling, and very possessive. I ended up breaking up with him my senior year. But that relationship taught me a lot about relationships and life. It taught me to be strong when I needed to be. After him, I quickly moved on. I had a few other boyfriends throughout the rest of my senior year and that summer.
Never telling any of them about my hair.

College came around and I became the life of the party and soon ended up dropping out. I met my second serious boyfriend who I was so in love with. But much like the last one, it felt wrong. Mainly because I knew I was hiding something from him, but I just didn't know how to tell him. I felt like that lead to insecurities that lead to unneccesary drama. We were perfect together. But after a while it just stopped working. He ended up leaving me, and I was devastated. I didn't think I could ever love anyone as much as him. But that taught me even more.

I began working as a student loan counseler a few months after the break up. I asked my good friend who worked there at the time if there were any attractive men who worked there, she told me no. And then came back and said that there's this one guy who works there that she thought I'd find gorgeous...but that was the only one. During my first day of work, my training class went outside for break. I noticed a group of guys walking outside and there was this kind of nerdy looking guy who just immidelty caught my eye. He looked at me, and gave me a small smile that seriously made me feel like I was flying. I was in love (as silly as it sounds) right there. We went months just smiling at each other and just saying hi. I couldn't gain the courage to ask him for his number. Whenever I was with my friends on break and we would see him, I'd ask my friends "why can't he just love me?!" I'm ridiculous sometimes. But this guy just seemed like everything I could ever want, I'd seriously go home and just think about what he was doing. I asked a few people who have been there for a while if he was single and if he's a nice guy. Almost everyone said, "i think he has a girlfriend, but I don't really know he's very quiet". PERFECT, someone who's not loud and obnoxious like me. Nobody really knew about him because he's a manager in a very small department there and he worked things that the normal employees didnt.

As things remained the same, I snapped one day. I thought to myself "stop being dumb and just TALK to him!" I tried all week. Finally one day he came up to my desk as I was on the phone and my heart just sunk...I wanted to cry. I hung up on the lady...and was like "yeah?" and He stood there so gorgeous and said "can I give this to you (his number) yay or nay?" And I didn't respond and he began walking away and I said "YES!" I was so happy. We hit it off our first date that weekend. And soon began dating. Now, we are completely in love and just bought a house. But I don't have those odd feelings like I did with the others.

Joe is 24, and he's not young like every other guy I've dated so he's a lot more mature. He's everything I've ever wanted and treats me like a princess in every way. One day I randomly started asking him, "would you love me iff......" questions. I'm sure you can all fill in various questions. Finally I told him I needed to tell him something..and I told him that I don't have hair. I explained what I needed to, I was so proud of myself for being strong and telling him. He said he would have never known, and that he doesn't love me because of my hair. And he went on to say all that sappy stuff.

Bottom line is that I feel as if I know he's THE ONE, because he's the first and only guy I've felt comfortable enough telling something that people are so quick to judge about. He's the first person I instantly felt a connection with before even having a conversation. I never thought someone would accept me as I am, even though that sounds very silly. But with patience and strength, I've found my prince charming.

I wanted to share my story with people who may have had a similar story, or have lost hope in relationships. I feel that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and that nobody should be put down because of how they look. We all have something that makes us unique, we just have to find he people who are willing to accept that.

I'd like to hear your relationship stories, good and bad. I'm curious to know how many we can all relate to....spill it! :)

Thanks for reading, this is in honor of my boyfriend Joe and how amazing he's been to me.

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Wow.really moving, sweet, insightful blog. I think it will be an inspirational story for old and new members, male and female. Thank you for sharing a your positive, happy feelings! Cheers to you!

I'm glad you have a boyfriend who is supportive. When you are in a relationship, then tell the person when You feel comfortable, not just when there is pressure.

If you can help it have people to address you as Kayleigh, not the girl with the wig. Your identity is in you, not your wig.

Keep smiling. Love with a pure heart. Try not to worry about the relationship. But most of all, do not compromise to keep a guy. If he can not accept your whole self, then he is not the one.

All of this is easier said than done, I know. Would you consider volunteering with pediatric cancer victims? I think that would give perspective.

Be encouraged and keep smiling.

I am so happy that you found a great guy that you can be honest with.

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