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My friend tells me "I have AA because I'm too vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease"
I'm pretty mad about this. One of my best friends(which I'm not sure she is anymore)tells me " I have AA because I'm to vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease."
I was trying not to tell my friends but I just can't hide it anymore. Since she was one of my best friends I wanted to let her in on it first. At first she was like I'm so sorry! The next day she tells me she has been thinking about it all night and says the line above. I was stocked! I've had AA since I was 9 I guess I was a vain 9 year old!
Just so everyone one knows my friend who told me this does beauty pageants! Oh and also got Botox at 26. Just saying!
I'm so shocked I don't know what to say to her?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Holly Dixon on
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Hi Elaine,
I'm so sorry to read about your 'friend's reaction to you sharing your Alopecia with her. That's a terrible thing for her to conjure up! If religion is your cup of tea ... then surely you have AA because God knows you have the strengh to deal with it? Just a thought.
It sucks that sometimes in testing times like this, you learn who your true friends are.
All the best,
Holly x
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Permalink Reply by Paul on
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wow, I pretty much starting to have bald patches when I got a little to vain too. Just kidding. I'm really sorry she said that. it must have hurt coming from a best friend. I don't know why she would say something like that but I hope you can find some other more supportive people!
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Permalink Reply by Daniel on
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Hmm.. Just a thought.. I read in a later post that the girl got into some personal troubles after she was rude to you. Is it possible that she already was experiencing her problems when you told her? If that is the case that -could- explain her bad behaviour maybe?
About the God thing.. I guess almost all swedes would be get punished and walk around bald then.. (we don't believe in god or go to church at all)
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Permalink Reply by Elaine on
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I was thinking that maybe too. When she first got to my house she was telling me how wonderful her life is and how blessed she is. Then she pulled out all her pictures of what she has been doing last 6 months. (She moved out of state a few years ago so we only see each other about twice a year but we talk on the phone all the time.)Later that day I told her about my AA then she said the God thing to me. At that point everything in her personal life seemed great. About 2 days after she said this to me is when her personal life took a turn. But maybe she was having some problems and was trying to cover it up by telling me how happy she was. I still haven't talked to her about how hurt that comment was because I don't want to add to what she has going on.
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Permalink Reply by silly valerie on
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So sorry to hear that your friend made such a hurtful comment. The exact same comment was made to me just a couple of weeks ago, by a man I didn't know. I wear a hat to the gym and this man comes up and says "Do you have a lot of hair under there?" I said "I don't have any because I have a hairloss condition called alopecia." He says "Why—because God is punishing you for something you did?" Well, just like you, I was taken-back and did not respond. I've had Alo since the age of 7 (now 61). Upon hearing my story, my husband said "Just stay away from that old guy. He's crazy." People with alopecia are much more compassionate, warm and caring because we have deeper emotions about everything. That's the goodness that God put into us. God DOES NOT punish - He only brings blessings and goodness to people's lives. Your friend should feel blessed to have someone special like you in her life.— Valerie
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Permalink Reply by yesmywig on
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Do not listen to those rude comments. You have to face the alopecia and live your life the best way you can. Do not feel mad for someone who doens't deserve your friendship. She's so wrong and be sure that God has nothing to do with it. You have alopecia, period... but believe me, you are not the one who has a problem.
check my website: www.yesmywg.com
God bless you
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Permalink Reply by Plumeria on
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Wow Elaine. I am so sorry your friend said this to you. I felt that way for years that perhaps I did something wrong that caused my hair to fall out. I realized I didn't do anything wrong - I cannot control what life has dished out in my chromosome. Can I control that the T-cells are fractured and for me living with the inability to absorb Short Chain Carbohydrates? Nope. What I can control is how people make me feel. I have a choice to either stand up to a person or walk away. They do not have the right to rent space in my head and fill me with negative thoughts of myself. We deal with this all on our own we don't need to have someone else jump in on the bandwagon!
Tell her straight out that what she said was really uncalled for. Tell her she has a choice to make. To accept you just the way you are or start walking. You and AA are here to stay and she better get used to it!
Good luck lady!
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Everyone on this website is so wonderful and supportive. I wish ALL OF YOU lived in my city! We had an AA support group some years ago, but it fell apart...the lady who started it had a family to raise, and other people were not too keen on taking up the reins, because of the "shame" involved.
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Careful, Cindie.... you're in danger of volunteering yourself into a job there... :)
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I would love to do it, but I work two very high stress jobs, am almost 60 years old, and have an elderly, childless aunt that I try to see after (no wonder I don't have any hair)....so "no can do..."
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Almost 60?? Hah! Merely a child yet.... like me :)
Maybe it's a good job you've no hair - you've not got time to do anything with it anyway!!
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